Who is Gloria Brame and why does it matter?

Forgive me for getting on my soapbox, and I promise not to make this a habit, but two people have sent me the link to Gloria Brame’s article “Who is Elise Sutton and why does it matter?” My initial answer to this was ‘Who is Gloria Brame?’ I wasn’t trying to be a smart aleck. I had no idea who Gloria Brame was. I looked her up and learned that she is the co-author of the popular BDSM book “Different Loving”.

I find it interesting that Gloria Brame took some subtle shots at Elise about her site appealing to male fantasies when the cover of Ms. Brame’s “Different Loving” features thigh-high leather boots and a bullwhip. I guess she wasn’t pandering to male fantasies to increase sales. And she had the audacity to take a jab at Elise for selling books on her site. Imagine that. What is Gloria selling on her site? Looks like books to me.

Capitalism is alive and well in the worlds of BDSM and FemDom. Some might even say that 90% of FemDom these days is a commercial enterprise, be it professional Dommes, paid websites, videos, books, etc. Not that I can talk. I didn’t do phone calls or live sessions for free. Why would I? Seems to me Elise and Gloria are more similar than they are different.

I agree with some of the premise of Gloria Brame’s article. Why does it matter? Only a darn fool would blindly follow an anonymous person that writes articles and blogs on the internet. I never blindly followed anyone, including Elise. I learned a lot from her but we disagree on many issues.

And that brings me to one of my pet peeves and it has to do with the BDSM community. Just because Elise or Kathleen or whomever is not active in the BDSM community, that does not mean we are any less knowledgeable about D/s or FemDom. According to Elise, she was active in the BDSM community back in the late 80’s and early 90’s under a different scene name but she had her reasons for becoming publically anonymous. The internet provided her the perfect opportunity to share all that she had learned without being ‘out there’. You have people in the BDSM community who will trash anyone that writes a blog or has a website unless they are active members in a BDSM group. I say Hogwash.

I’ve only been to one BDSM event in my life and I was a wallflower. They didn’t know I existed. So if they don’t know me because I refuse to join the BDSM community, does that make me any less real? Are my experiences any less genuine? Is my opinion of any less value?

Some might say it comes down to who is the most educated. I confess that while I have multiple degrees none of mine are in Psychology or Sociology (Elise has degrees in both). But does knowledge about D/s boil down to a person’s educational credentials? Really, are we going to go there? Have you ever been to a BDSM event, the kind where Gloria Brame gives lectures? Do I really care what college degrees the person giving the lecture has when the subject is ‘How to take a piss on your partner’. I don’t think you need a Ph. D. to give that lecture.

In my opinion, Elise and Gloria are just two women trying to sell books and share their personal knowledge about an alternative sex life. Some like Elise’s approach, some like Gloria’s approach. More power to them. Maybe I’ll write a book and then Gloria Brame can say “Who is Ms Kathleen and why does it matter?” In the big picture, it doesn’t matter. It’s not worth a hill of beans. So why am I involved in the Femdom lifestyle?  To quote the Rolling Stones, “It’s only Rock ‘n Roll … but I like it”.