Ritual submission unto death

I finished reading “Searching for Wanda” last night. I enjoyed the second half of the book every bit as much as the first half. In chapter 13, Elise focuses on the masochist’s search for the female torturer. Interviewing both men and women who have been there, Elise takes us behind the walls of the now defunct Other World Kingdom in the Czech Republic, a place where women dominated, brutalized and tortured paying male clients. The entire place was a fantasy camp for Femdom couples and lifestylers who wanted to leave the real world for a few days and enter into a kingdom of absolute female supremacy where women ruled and men were slaves.

James and I talked about going to the OWK. A couple in our ClubFEM group, Alex and Steve, had been there and we talked about organizing a group trip. It never materialized and now the place has closed. Alex said the place was rather deserted and low key when they were there, but they still had a good time. In “Wanda”, Elise shows the reader what a stay at the OWK was like, from both the slaves’ perspective and the Mistresses perspective. I would have loved to have attended one of their large celebrations where they had slave games, slave auctions, slave hunts and many other creative activities. Oh well, you snooze, you lose. We should have gone to the OWK when we had the chance.

The other chapter in “Wanda” that I wanted to comment on was chapter 14. This chapter is a look at masochists who fantasize about making the ultimate sacrifice for their Mistress. Sounds very morbid and mentally unhinged, and it is, but when you read some of these men’s fantasies, you can at least understand the erotic elements behind the fantasies. Here are some examples from the book;

Robert is a successful dentist who constantly battles intense masochistic desires;

“I have fantasies that scare away many Pro-Dommes. I’ve had them hang the phone up once I told them what turns me on sexually. My fantasies generally concern me being brought close to demise. One such scene is a slow hanging where whilst heavily restrained my noose would be attached to a suspension unit. I would then be slowly lifted bit by bit off my knees as a group of women sit around getting off on my predicament. I can just picture a cruel beauty with the suspension control in her hand as her long red painted finger nail seductively brushes over the button, looking at me excitedly knowing that she could end my life on a whim.

I once saw a great smother scene in the movie ‘Million Eyes of Su-Muru’ that captured that cruel look on women’s faces as a man is smothered to death. That is what I want to experience, naturally I don’t want to die, but I want to go to the edge and have a woman in control of whether I survive.” 

The scene Robert described comes from the 1967 spy movie “The Million Eyes of Su-Muru”. In one of the early scenes, we see Erno (Ursula Rank) entering a room full of beautiful women. The women are seated comfortably, sipping champagne, smoking cigarettes, and they are obviously enthralled by something as they stare intently downward toward the middle of the room. As Ursula Rank gets her own glimpse, we see an oriental man with his mouth taped shut, struggling as an attractive brunette (played by Denise Davreaux with an amused and devious look on her face) has her legs wrapped around the man’s neck, squeezing her thighs tightly around the sides of the struggling man’s face. The brunette looks toward Erno and asks; “Mercy?”

Erno shakes her head “No” and with that, the brunette snaps the man’s neck with her thighs, instantly killing him. This scene has become a favorite among submissive men who have seen this film as it represents a masochist’s ultimate fantasy, to be toyed with and tormented by a dominant female while other dominant women look on with amusement. The fact that it ends in death makes it the ultimate sacrifice for the cause.

I once reviewed “The Millions Eyes of Su-Muru” for Predominant and I remember the scene that Robert described. The thought I had as I was reading “Wanda” is that Robert was viewing the film from the same vantage point as the sadistic women. He was a spectator and thus he had more in common with the female sadists (being sexually aroused at what he was watching) than he did with the male who was being snuffed out. Just a personal observation. Here are some other fantasies along the same lines shared by masochists in “Wanda”;

“A fantasy of mine is to be mummified and restricted to breathing through a very long narrow tube which is fairly difficult to draw breath through. The far away end of this tube would be part of a vibrating toy of some kind with the airway being blocked as the toy is used by a femme fatale, relaxing on a nearby armchair, maintaining eye contact with me, dominating me with her stare and her evil smile as she pleasures herself.

And still another fantasy of mine is to be restrained face up in water, a bath or pool and for my captor to be close to climax and for the last minute she would grind on my face forcing me under water where I would remain feeling her earthly shudders as I nearly slipped away. The risk/pleasure ratio is highly erotic in this one. I think the allure of this is the perpetrator's depersonalizing disregard for the man’s safety in the face of obtaining their pleasure. It gets me every time.”

Elise then gets into the psychology behind these kinds of fantasies as she talks about the correlation between masochism and what Freud called ‘the death urge hypothesis’.

So I must ask the question. Do any of the readers of my blog have similar fantasies? And it’s not exclusive to submissive men. Do any dominant women ever fantasize about having that kind of power over a slave? I am making the obvious assumption that it is fantasy only and any role-play along these lines would be consensual with all safety precautions taken.

Anywho, “Searching for Wanda” is a fascinating read and I highly recommend it. I should mention that it is also available as a download e-book. Now it’s on to my next book which has nothing to do with the lifestyle. It is all about the legendary rock group Led Zeppelin.

Searching for Wanda

I’ve taken some vacation days to fill the gap between the holidays, which means I don’t have to go back to work until January 3. In addition to baking cookies (yes, I love to bake cookies around the holidays) and wrapping presents, I plan on catching up on my reading. I have lots of books I’ve wanted to read but haven’t had the time. Two nights ago I stated reading Elise Sutton’s book “Searching for Wanda”.

I know it’s hard to believe that I haven’t read it yet (forgive me Elise if you should happen to come across this post). She sent me a copy when it was first published last winter. I read the preface and introduction but sat it aside, intending to get back to it before now. But as they say, “Life happens”.

As I mentioned in one of the first posts when I started this blog, I was interviewed for both of Elise Sutton’s first two books, “Female Domination” and “The FemDom Experience”. However, I had nothing whatsoever to do with “Searching for Wanda”. That’s not surprising seeing that I am not a sadist and James is not a masochist in the clinical use of the word. I guess that’s why I wasn’t in a hurry to read it. Elise’s first two books were more about what I’m interested in, namely female domination within a loving marriage. A book that explores male masochism was not high on my must read list. But now I am ready to tackle it and I’ve read the first ten chapters the last two nights.

I must say, it’s a very compelling read. If you haven’t read it yet, I definitely recommend it (and I’m not just saying that because Elise wrote it). If I didn’t like the book, I would not be writing about it in my blog. I would have just ignored it.

Masochism is often misunderstood and that is apparent when you read “Wanda”. Elise quotes psychiatrists and psychologists from Freud to Kinsley to modern day psychologists and there doesn’t seem to be a consensus on the subject. I must say that reading this book has been a real education and an eye-opener when it comes to masochism. It is definitely a complex study but Elise has brought it down to a level where someone like me can understand. After reading this book, I might not be as quick to dismiss James from being labeled a masochist. He does exhibit some traits of a masochist from time to time. My hubby is not a fan of receiving pain (although he enjoys a good spanking and/or whipping if it’s in a sexual context) but masochism has more to do with the mind than the body. A man that experiences sexual arousal when he is being humiliated by his wife (like my hubby) is at the very least what Elise classifies as a mental masochist.

Elise takes a look at numerous masochists in this book but the main character of study is the man from whose name the word ‘masochist’ was devised, Leopold von Sacher-Masoch. Elise examines his life from childhood to death. I read Sacher-Masoch’s “Venus in Furs” probably ten years ago and I’ve reviewed the 1993 Dutch film version for “Predominant”, but I knew next to nothing about the author.

Elise’s study of Sacher-Masoch’s lifelong search for the cruel woman of his desires is a most fascinating tale. So far, he is the focal point of the book but the second half will deal with other masochists, both past and present. I’ll let you know more about my overall opinion of the book when I’m finished reading it.

Fetisch Film Festival

I was recently contacted by Andy, one of the organizers of the Fetisch Film Festival, the subcultural film conference that meets in Kiel, Germany each year. The Fetisch Film Festival explores narrative works about consensual erotic encounters. Andy is a fan of my movie reviews in the e-zine “Predominant” and he has extended a personal invitation for me to attend the Fetisch Film Festival next September.

Here is a list of the winners for 2011:

Best Film of the Year:

VIGASIOSEXPLOITATION

Directed by Sebastiano Montresor

http://www.vigasiosexploitation.com/

Best Actress:

Emily Browning in SLEEPING BEAUTY

http://sleepingbeautyfilm.com/

Best Actor:

William Van Noland in INDIETRO

http://indietromovie.com/

Best Trans-Performance:

Chiara Pavoni in VIGASIOSEXPLOITATION

http://www.vigasiosexploitation.com/

Best Shortfilm:

FOURPLAY SAN FRANCISCO by Kyle Henry

http://www.fourplayfilm.com/fourplay_san_francisco.htm

Best Actresses in a short film:

Anna Linng and Venus O’Hara

in LOVE ME LIKE YOU HATE ME

http://www.lovemelikeyouhateme.com/

Best Actor in a short film:

Gary Chason in FOURPLAY SAN FRANCISCO
http://www.fourplayfilm.com/fourplay_san_francisco.htm

Best Trans-Performance in a short film:

Paul Soileau in FOURPLAY SAN FRANCISCO
http://www.fourplayfilm.com/fourplay_san_francisco.htm

Best long Documentary:

HEUTE WEISS ES JEDER

Directed by Gerhard Stahl

http://heuteweissesjeder.de/

Best short Documentary:

LOVE HUGS KISSES SISSY STEPHANIE

Directed by Mrs G.

http://hydromadamproductions.blogspot.com/p/vintage-cilps.html

Best Website of a filmproducer:

http://www.erikalust.com/

Best Musicvideo:

FETISH by Faith Michaels

Directed by Gaetano Guido

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t7GWh7ShoxE

Best Concert Clip:

S&M by Rihanna featuring Britney Spears

http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMjY5NTU0ODY4.html

Best long clip:

ARIEL'S JOB INTERVIEW

http://www.restrainedelegance.com/

Best Female-Performer in a long clip:

Ariel Anderssen

in ARIEL'S JOBINTERVIEW
http://www.restrainedelegance.com/

Best Male Performer in a long clip:

FEMDOM COUPLE

http://www.menareslaves.com/

Best Trans-Performance in a long clip:

Kallista Rene Eisha

in SISSY SLUT MANUAL

http://www.transfetishvideo.com/

Best short clip:

EROTIC DAYDREAMS

http://www.restrainedelegance.com/

Best Female Performers in short clips:

Christina Carter in EROTIC DAYDREAMS (Restrained Elegance)

Janey in LADETTE TO LADY (Restrained Elegance)

Katey Cee in LADETTE TO LADY (Restrained Elegance)

Best Male Performer in a short clip 2011:

WEAR MY SIGN

Sadoladies/Madame Charlotte
http://www.sado-ladies.com/

http://www.clips4sale.com/store/13472

Best Trans-Performance in a short clip:

SLAVE LIFE WITH MISS O

http://www.menareslaves.com/

Best Membership-Websites:

http://www.carmenrivera.com

http://www.cruella.com

http://www.lady-asmondena.com
http://www.rubbersisters.com

http://www.schlagendegirls.com

Here is the film festival’s official Website

http://www.fetisch-film-festival.de/

Kathleen meets the Leather Lady

Between 2001 and 2007 I advertised looking for other FemDom couples to meet and perhaps ‘play’ with. I’d estimate that James and I met two dozen or so couples over this seven year period.

Around 2004, I was contacted by a couple from Germany. They were going to be in the United States visiting friends and they were interested in meeting other people who shared their kinks for Femdom and their fetish for leather. I thought I was communicating with the wife, Dionna, through e-mail. We exchanged numbers and I told Dionna to call me when they were in the United States. Weeks went by and I received a call from a man with a strong German accent. He introduced himself as Dionna’s husband, Gert. He said Dionna didn’t speak very good English.

I was hesitant to agree to meet this couple without talking to the wife. After all, what if this guy was single and he wanted to meet me for some strange reason. The saving grace for Gert was that he had sent me links to websites that featured his wife. In Europe, she was known as the Leather Lady. Gert published photos of his wife on various sites of her decked out in leather from head to toe. I showed the pictures to James and he was most interested in meeting the mysterious Leather Lady.

They were staying at the Omni Shoreham hotel, not too far from the DC Zoo. We booked a room at the same hotel and we met them for dinner. James and I dressed casually. So did Gert. But staying true to her persona, Dionna was adorned in black leather from head to toe, or I should say from leather hat to leather boot. She was wearing a leather trench coat, and underneath she was wearing a lovely leather dress. She of course had leather gloves and leather boots. She also had a wide-brim leather hat.

I’d say they were in their late 50’s or early 60’s. Gert was telling the truth when he said his wife didn’t speak English very well. She had a very strong German accent and I had trouble understanding her all night. We had dinner and then went to a bar around the corner for drinks. This was before the smoking ban in DC. Gert and Dionna were both very heavy smokers.

Gert and Dionna were very nice. We ended up back at the lounge at the Omni Shoreham and Gert told us stories about some of the couples they’ve met and played with in Europe. I deduced that Gert was more of a fetishist than a submissive. His mode of Femdom was to worship his wife when she was adorned in leather. He loved to take pictures of her and post them on the internet for other leather fetishists. He also liked to take pictures of her as a Dominatrix, with her posing in leather and brandishing a whip.

That led to them being contacted by masochists. According to Gert, Dionna began playing with a few masochists while Gert watched. Dionna came to enjoy whipping men and Gert loved to watch men groveling before his wife.

They invited us up to their room. I made it clear to Gert that we were only interested in D&S play and nothing beyond that. Once I was convinced that he understood, James and I went back to our room and I changed into my own leather outfit. I mean after all, I can be a leather lady too, when I choose to be.

If I recall correctly, I believe my outfit was leather pants, a leather halter, and leather gloves. I put my coat on over my outfit and we walked to their room. When we got to their room, the leather lady had changed into a different outfit than the one she had worn out. She was in thigh high boots, a leather corset and elbow length leather gloves, all of the highest quality.

Gert was wearing a pair of leather shorts and a collar (no shirt). James was in street clothes but for some reason I don’t remember what I made him change into once we got to their room. It might have been nothing but a leather thong or a pair of my panties.

They had a very large room but playing in a hotel room is very constricting, at least I felt restrictive. Gert asked if he could take some pictures of me in my leather outfit. I granted him permission as long as my face was hidden. Dionna gave me a mask that she had brought with her, so I put it on and Gert took pictures of me in various poses. I often wondered if any of those pictures made it onto German fetish sites.

We played a little in their hotel room but nothing to write home about. James ended up licking the leather lady’s boots and my pants, and we both spanked him with our gloved hands. Gert was more of a voyeur than a submissive. He seemed to enjoy watching me and his wife dominating James more than he enjoyed being dominated. I didn’t bring any whips or paddles with me and the only whip Dionna had was a bullwhip. James was not a masochist and besides, there was no way you could use a bullwhip inside a hotel room without making a lot of noise. So he had to settle for having his ass smacked by two leather ladies. This was one of the rare times when James got most of the attention. He licked a lot of leather that night. In fact, the next morning at breakfast, I noticed his tongue was all black and had a few blisters from all that leather licking.

Gert e-mailed me a few times after that. We had an open invitation to come visit them in Germany. But the last I heard from him they were going to be moving to Sweden. Thus, my one and only encounter with the Leather Lady.

Not too early to be thinking about New Year’s resolutions

2012 is right around the corner so I sat down the other night and made out a list of personal goals for the new year. On my list were a few non-Femdom items such as joining a gym and beginning on my new diet. However, I have some Femdom goals as well. The biggest is taking more control of my husband’s finances.

This is a big step and one I’ve wanted to do for years. I’ve read about dominant women who require that their husband’s paychecks be deposited into the wife’s private account. To be honest, I never thought I could get my hubby to agree to this. I know this will really be stretching his limits but I think it’s time.

Right now his check is direct deposited into a joint account. My plan is to open an account at the same bank under my name only. Using on-line banking, I will move his check from the joint account into my personal account every payday. Then I will put my hubby on a strict allowance. If he needs additional funds, he will have to come to me and gain my permission. Of course I will make it fun for him. That’s the key to a successful Femdom marriage. There has to be a motivation factor.

I recalled reading about a couple who did this in Elise Sutton’s book “Female Domination”. I went back and found the passage and I really like how they go about it. Her name is Jessica and here is the passage;

“My husband and I recently have come to a unique arrangement regarding our finances. The underlying thesis of our plan is that all of our marital assets belong to me … If hubby wants more than his allowance, I allow him to have a special hearing before the Queen, which is held in our bedroom. I wear a long black satin robe, and black garter belt with stockings, and nothing else and sit on the bed. He will knock at the door and after I say "Enter" he will come in and kneel before me totally nude. I then say "Yes" and he bends down and kisses the top of each foot and says, “My Mistress, I have come to petition your Highness to allow me to have additional funds from Her Majesty's Treasury." I will then listen to his request and grant or deny it.

 If I deny it he is stood in the corner and whipped with a riding crop for wasting my time, and then made to kneel in a corner for thirty minutes to think about why he was punished. If I grant it he is required to kiss the top and bottom of each of my feet, and say "Thank you my Queen." Sometimes I'll condition my grant upon his putting his head between Her Majesty's legs and licking her to orgasm within fifteen minutes, and failure will be punished as mentioned above.

Family budgeting can be fun, especially in a Female Supremacist Household. The last day of the year he'll be up for review to see if he deserves a raise (in his allowance), which will depend on how well he's served me over the year, which will be measured by his performance at work and at home.”

I will tweak how Jessica does it to fit my personality but overall I like her little ritual. Now I must find the perfect situation to inform my hubby of this big change that is forthcoming in 2012. I’m thinking of breaking the news to him during an intense D&S session.

Christmas Shopping with my hubby

I went Christmas shopping today with my hubby. Normally he hates to shop but I decided to add a little Femdom to motivate him. First, I had him wear a chastity device. I chose the ClubFEM chastity device, called the MCD, because it has the sharp plastic spikes which can be painful and it also ensures he would not gain an embarrassing erection out in public. I then had him put on a pair of my panties, bright red, over the chastity device. He wore tan Dockers and a sweater as his outer garments.

I also put on a sweater but I added a pair of leather pants to my outfit to make the day a little more interesting. I knew the leather pants would excite James and provide a challenge to him. If he got too excited, the plastic spikes from the MCD would be a quick reminder that I am in control of his erections.

We began by getting breakfast at Bob Evans and we were at the mall by 10:00 am. We shopped non-stop until 5:00. James was worn out by the time I was done, but I had a marvelous time. James had to follow two steps behind me at all times with his eyes focused on my leather clad ass. He had to pay for all of my purchases and he had to carry all of my bags and packages. He also was forbidden to speak unless I asked him a direct question.

The bag carrying is also a great exercise in Femdom when we travel together. I never use the hotel bellmen. Why should I when I have my own slave to carry my bags? It always reminds me of the novel “Venus in Furs”.

This is the only way to go shopping with your husband. James, like most men, was a chronic complainer when we went shopping (pre-Femdom days) and I like to take my time so he used to take the fun out of it for me. But when I add Femdom to the shopping trip equation, he becomes the perfect helpmate.

When we got home, I examined his genitals and he must have fought off a number of erections throughout the day because the plastic spikes had dug deeply into his cock. It was a painful ordeal when I removed the MCD. He grimaced terribly as I pulled the spikes away from his skin. I teased, “See what happens when you stare at your wife’s ass all day!”

If he would have disobeyed me or gotten on my nerves today, a punishment would have been the order of business when we got home. Perhaps a spanking or maybe the dreaded cane. However, James was the perfect shopping slave today so I have no complaints.

But I think I’ll keep with the slave husband thing tonight and have him prepare me a bubble bath and have him bathe me. Then he will worship my body and service his Mistress the way a good slave should.

Long spanking session

After doing chores all day long, my hubby took a shower and I caught a glimpse of his marked ass when he came out of the shower. There were two really nice welts on there from his punishment that I administered earlier in the day with my cane. I walked over to him and groped his cute ass and commented on how excited he was making me. I wanted to punish him some more, not because I felt he deserved it but simply because the thought was really turning me on. I could tell James wasn’t in the mood. He was tired and hungry and he was ready to just chill for the rest of the night. I, on the other hand, was getting very turned on. The selfish Kathleen won out over the compassionate Kathleen.

I changed into something simple yet still sexy. I put on a leather bra and a leather thong, no boots, no stockings, nothing elaborate, just a bra and a thong. I got out my leather paddle and I ordered my reluctant hubby across my lap. I caressed his ass and closely examined the marks I had left with the cane. I then proceeded to spank him with the leather paddle and it was a long spanking session, the longest we’ve had in a good while. I started out slow and light but I increased it to hard and fast. I had him squirming and begging for mercy. I know I have him where I want him when he starts to reach back to block the paddle with his hand. That’s a big No No, so I stopped his spanking temporarily, just long enough to go to my chest and get out the pair of thumb cuffs. I cuffed his thumbs with his hands across his chest and I guided him back across my lap. I continued with the hard spanking and he was totally helpless. He endured the marathon spanking session and by the time I was finished, his ass was a bright shade of red.

I caressed his butt cheeks and they were nice and hot. I love to touch a man’s ass after he has been thoroughly spanked. If I had been feeling a little more ambitious, I would have broken out my strap-on. I love to take a man from behind after he’s been thoroughly spanked. I love to feel the heat coming from a reddened bottom against my hands as I take a man with my strap-on. But not this time. Instead, I unlocked the thumb cuffs and I had him worship my body. I pulled my breasts out of my bra and I removed the leather thong. He orally pleasured me and I held out as long as possible, enjoying the pleasurable sensations from his tongue. Finally I had my orgasm.

We spent the rest of the night just chilling. And just so you know that I’m not a complete bitch, and that compassionate Kathleen does exist, I gave my hubby the rest of the weekend off from his chores so he can enjoy some much needed R&R. But his ass is going to be sore and tender for days.