Sunday, October 28, 2012

Halloween Fetish Party

I haven’t written anything for this blog in almost two weeks. Truthfully I haven’t really been in the mood, until today that is. First of all, things are moving forward splendidly with James. We haven’t had what I would call wild D&S play but he has been very attentive to my needs. We’ve had a couple of nights where he has pampered me with bath, massage and body worship. He has remained in chastity and I have placed him in the confinement room two or three times since my last post. We have not had any discipline sessions recently. I just haven’t felt like it but maybe tonight or at least early this week. Last night has stirred my dominant juices, but more on that in a minute.

Thomas has gotten weird on me since our mini-vacation together. He basically ignored me for a week and then he wanted to see me this past weekend with practically no advanced notice but I had already made plans so I declined. He was not happy but I do not allow any man to manipulate me. I understand where he is at with all of this and I kind of expected it. He is probably having some doubts about our relationship. He knows I am married and the whole hot wife/cuckold thing was exciting for him because he was always attracted to me and wanted to be with me. However he is a nice looking guy with a lot to offer a woman. Does he want to be my lover with no future for it to grow into anything more? That is his decision and he has to come to terms with it all.

I went through this with Chase. To be perfectly frank, I am not the easiest woman to get along with. I am strong-willed and my one sister and her friends call me “The Princess” because of how I expect to get my way.

I receive e-mails from men who read this blog and they write and say they would love to trade places with my hubby. Perhaps but believe me it is not all fun and D&S. I can be very demanding and I take after my father in that I am a perfectionist. That turns some men off. I get along so good with James because he lets me have my way. When I went to Vegas with Chase, we had a great time, but we butted heads quite a few times and I am not one to yield. He stopped calling me shortly after we got back from that trip. So maybe now Thomas is struggling with the same thing. We shall see.

Now for the fun stuff. For the second year in a row, Ginger invited me to a Halloween party in the DC area. You may recall that she invited me to this party last year but a freak snow storm forced me to cancel. This year I decided to go (which was why I could not see Thomas this weekend). It was a fetish themed party so I went as, what else, a Dominatrix. I wore black jeans and a black shirt but I also wore my leather corset, leather opera gloves and thigh-high boots. I brought and carried my riding crop for the full effect.

I was tempted to show more skin and wear fish-net hose instead of jeans but I haven’t hit the gym as regularly these past two months so to be honest I lacked a little self-confidence to go overly sexy. Therefore I played it safe wearing hip hugging and slender black jeans and a black shirt under the corset and boots.

Ginger wore a hot red latex She-Devil outfit that showed off major cleavage and lots of skin. If I were built like her, I would have been more daring. But I must say I still looked damn dominant.

We left our hubbies home but unbeknownst to me, Ginger invited her part-time lover Dante to meet us there. You might recall Dante is the African-American hunk she met at the CFNM party last April. Dante brought a friend, Dwight, who happened to also be a dark-skinned hunk. They were dressed like Roman Gladiators. Their hard and muscular bodies notwithstanding, I was a little disappointed Ginger invited them because I didn’t want to entertain two guys the whole night. Thankfully we didn’t. They sat at our table but we all mingled and danced with other people.

My biggest challenge was walking in my boots. I could not dance in them and thankfully I brought a change of shoes for dancing. That is where wearing jeans paid major dividends. I could not have changed back and forth from boots to low heel pumps if I were wearing fishnet stockings or hose.

One man noticed what I was doing and he came over and introduced himself. He had a foot fetish and he offered me a foot massage. I took him up on it and I allowed him to help me in and out of my boots. I was expecting him to request if he could lick my boots but he never did. It was hard to gage the crowd. It was a fetish party but I didn’t get the vibe that it was a FemDom crowd. An open display of boot worship probably would not have been wise.

I played the field at this party, dancing with quite a few men, and I got a lot of compliments on my Dominatrix outfit. Then as the night got later, Ginger and I found ourselves back hanging out with Dante and Dwight. Ginger and Dante were getting into it pretty hot and heavy. She ended up leaving with Dante.

Dwight was hitting on me and I danced with him, rubbed up and grinded against him, and one time back at the table I felt up his big erection. I was tempted to go home with him, I really was, but I didn’t know him so I had to decline his offer. He gave me his phone number. If nothing else, I plan on using Saturday night and my ‘dirty dancing’ with Dwight the next time I tease and dominate James. I should get a lot of mileage out of it and perhaps I will tease him that I might set up something with Dwight where he will have to watch. There are possibilities there, be they merely mind games or the real thing.

I had planned on spending the night at Ginger’s place but since she ditched me (not really since I gave her the okay) to get laid by Dante, and since I didn’t drink at all other than one beer when I first got there, I decided to just drive all the way home. James was shocked to see me here this morning. I do think I am in the mood to discipline him tonight.

Monday, October 15, 2012

A happy (and very unconventional) 21st Wedding Anniversary

I’m going to need a few days to reflect on this past weekend and its overall significance but one thing that I am certain about is that things will never be quite the same in my marriage. I love James every bit as much as I did the day we were married but our lives will probably never be the same. As a woman who has dabbled with, played with and embraced various portions of the femdom lifestyle to vary degrees since 1998, it hit me Saturday night, as I was lying in bed with Thomas, having just made mad passionate love to a man who is not my husband on my wedding anniversary. It hit me that my marriage with James will never be the same.

Not that we haven’t had these moments in our past. The first time James confessed to me and shared with me his submissive fantasies and desires I began to view him differently. I didn’t marry a man so I could dominate him. I married a life partner. However, I probably loved him even more once he bore this part of his soul to me because he let me inside of his real persona and once inside I was able to fall in love with him in a deeper and more meaningful way. But I would be lying if I didn’t admit that I viewed him differently as a man.

When I met James I knew he was gentle, kind and docile yet he also had a rugged, masculine side and I was attracted to the whole package. I liked that he allowed me to have my way but I also liked being with a tall, handsome man who portrayed a silent strength. His easy-going nature was a perfect balance to my out-going nature. His quietness and shyness a perfect match to my type-A personality. We were (and still are) a perfect match. Yet, when he dared to introduce me to female domination, some things were lost while new things were gained. I no longer viewed him as my sexual equal (even though we had a great sex life) and I began to view his gentle nature in a whole new light. He was no longer just docile, he was now submissive, someone I could control and dominate and given my nature, I seized control and relished in the power.

We’ve had ups and downs with this lifestyle as we’ve explored it together. There have been wild times and many erotic experiences but also many challenges. It’s been hard for me to push the envelope because I’ve always wanted to leave a door open, a pathway to return to a so-called “normal” marriage. Even when I have really expanded my boundaries and stepped out of my comfort zone by attending BDSM events, joining ClubFEM, working with Elise and her associates, being a phone Dominatrix, doing live sessions, and even experimenting a little with female sadism and male masochism, I always left that door open that this might only be a phase and that there would someday be a return to how things were on my first wedding anniversary, back when I knew very little about the femdom lifestyle.

But this past weekend was when I closed that door once and for all. God willing I will stay married to James for the rest of my life. I love him and I want to remain with him however the definition of husband is forever changed as it relates to James. He is my submissive, my slave, my property and my cuckold. He is my equal only in that he is a human-being made in the image of God, thus he is worthy of my love and my respect. But he is not worthy to have sex with me and he is not my equal within this marriage. He has forever surrendered away any husbandly rights to my body. His chastity will become permanent and his humiliation will become more intense in the days, months and years to come. He exists to serve me and I will do him whatever I please. I no longer have any desire to have sexual relations with him unless it involves some form of D&S where he is being dominated and used for my pleasure.

I originally planned on including James every step of the way during our most unusual Anniversary weekend. I was going to call him up Saturday night and allow him to listen in over my cell phone set to speaker mode while I had sex with Thomas. I had lots of plans but I changed my mind. Instead, I denied my hubby all contact with me during this most special weekend. I called him Friday night to let him know we had arrived safely at the ocean but then I cut him off the rest of the weekend. He was in chastity and he had his list of chores to do and that was to be his gift to me, to be the best submissive husband he could be by giving me my freedom away from him. That allowed me to enjoy Thomas, just he and I, with no thoughts about how I could make the weekend special for my hubby. I wanted to make the weekend special for my lover, and I did.

Come Sunday night, when I arrived back home, James was in a most submissive frame of mind. He greeted me at the door on his knees and he kissed my shoes, telling me how much he missed me and how much he love me and adores me. He did all of his chores and even did a few nice things, such as having fresh flowers and some balloons awaiting me in my bedroom.

I didn’t think I would be in the mood to dominate him given the long drive but I quickly developed the urge. I wanted to share all of the salacious and yummy details of the weekend with him. I had him leave my presence while I prepared. I actually changed into a leather outfit, nothing too fancy, but my PVC corset and PVC boots and my opera length kidskin leather gloves. When I was ready, I summoned for James and had him remove his chastity device. I tied him naked, face up on my bed. I actually took the time to tie him with rope, no cuffs, just rope around his wrists and ankles tied to the posts on my bed.

I teased him, lightly touching his body with the tip of my riding crop, as I gave him all of the details, both sexually and non-sexually, of what Thomas and I did over the weekend. Then I told him of my revelation Saturday night, how I had forever closed the door of perhaps one day returning to a normal married life, and how I only view him as my slave, my property and my cuckold. He will never enjoy any husbandly rights ever again.

To drive this point home, I put away the crop and fumbled through my toy chest until I found my penis whip. This is a small little scourge with short strips of leather jetting forth from the wooden handle. I took the whip and in honor of our Anniversary, I inflicted 21 rather severe lashes to my hubby’s cock and balls. At around number 10 he began to beg me to stop and his body twisted and flinched from the pain, but I kept at it until I reached the magic number of 21. He was in great discomfort and his eyes welled up with water. Whether the tears were from the pain or from the realization of my revelation, I cannot say for sure.

I wasn’t certain what to do next. I thought of straddling his face and having him lick me to orgasm, but I felt that was a little too intimate given what we had just discussed. I fiddled more through my toy chest when I came across a face harness with the two-sided penis gag. The short side goes into hubby’s mouth and the long side is for the woman’s pleasure. I fastened the harness in place and then I climbed on top of hubby’ face, carefully guiding the silicon penis into my pussy and then I rode his face with great force as I grabbed the headboard for leverage. Hubby could smell me but he couldn’t taste me and the penis gag prevented him from uttering a word. (I should mention that I untied one of his hands prior to using the face harness and he has an emergency hand signal, a place on my body he is to tap 3 times, should the need arise).

I rode him until my thighs began to hurt but I was very excited and didn’t want to stop until I climaxed. Therefore, I began to finger my clit while still riding the dildo, all the while hubby was gagging from the other side of the penis being slammed against his throat. I could tell from the way his body was twisting that he was in discomfort which further aroused me and took me to the edge. Finally, it happened, I climaxed all over his very red and well-smothered face.

I barely had enough energy left to untie him (how I wish I were 10 years younger). I ordered him to clean up the toys and put them away. He asked if he could receive an Anniversary orgasm. I denied his request and ordered him to re-install the chastity device in front of me. Then I sent him off to bed but not before giving him a kiss and saying to him “Happy Anniversary!”