Sunday, August 28, 2011

A non-D/S weekend

I’m spending a conventional non-D/S weekend with my husband. We went out to dinner last night and we’re taking a drive in the country later this afternoon. I think it’s important to have weekends like this together where you interact with each other socially as wife and husband. Naturally I am still in charge and it was my decision to have a non-D/s weekend but I think it’s important to allow your submissive husband a little time off from his subservient role.

Next weekend will be a different matter altogether. I am going away to visit my sisters over Labor Day weekend and we will be out and about, having fun which may include going clubbing and dancing with other men. While I’m away my hubby will be staying home in chastity as he attends to his “hubby do” list of chores. As I discussed in a previous post, this has become a regular part of our marriage.

I plan on having a D/S session with James later in the week to help get him in the proper frame of mind. I enjoy these sessions prior to me going away because it allows me to reinforce to him his place within our FemDom marriage. I’ll be sure to let you know the details of his D/S session later this week.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

My clit ring experience

Maybe I’m showing my age but I do not have any tattoos or body piercings. However, ten years ago when I was really embracing this lifestyle, and thus experiencing a sexual rebirth, I went and got my clit pierced. I had read that some women actually climaxed when their tight pants or shorts rubbed against the clit ring. One woman I communicated with told me she had orgasms when she ran on her treadmill from her shorts rubbing her clit ring.

I went to a local body artist and had her do the honors. Then when James came home from work, I was so excited that I had to show him what his ‘naughty’ wife had done. I straddled his face so he got a good and close look at it. This of course made him aroused and he began to lick me. It didn’t take me long and I came immediately. But that’s not why I got the piercing. I always climax when I’m getting my pussy licked. What I was looking for was to see if I could orgasm without anyone (myself included) touching me down there.

A few nights later I had a discipline session with James and I wore a skin tight pair of leather pants. I wanted to see if the arousal I gained from whipping him combined with the leather pants rubbing against my clit ring could bring me to orgasm. I really got into it that night, whipping my husband and circling his bound body as I used my floggers, paddles and canes on his exposed ass. I could feel the tingle between my legs and the more excited I became, the harder I whipped him. I got so carried away that he used his safe word which made me stop and back off a bit. But I continued with my lightest floggers which allowed me to really whip him hard but did not cause him much pain. That was okay because I was really getting into it and I was on the edge, almost at the threshold of orgasm as my tight pants rubbed against my clit.

However, I couldn’t quite get there. I was so close but it didn’t happen and finally I was too aroused to wait any longer. So I took off my pants, untied my hubby and forced his face to my crotch and had him lick me until I came. It didn’t take but a few strokes from his tongue.

I joined a gym and used the treadmill and the elliptical machine as I wore a tight pair of cycling shorts, but I never came close climaxing. I just didn’t find the gym to be an erotic experience. The clit ring never did what I had hoped and one night when James was licking me, the ring fell out. I never bothered to get another one but I’ve been thinking about it lately. Maybe I’ll have another go at it.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Hubby's discipline session

Last night I had a deliciously deviant (yet loving) discipline session with my hubby. I borrowed from an idea I saw on a video clip by laying out 5 implements: a riding crop, a tawse, a leather strap, a Spencer paddle and a cane.

I dressed in a pair of leather pants and my leather halter top and ordered James into the bedroom. I explained to him the rules of my new game. There would be no warm-up. However, he got to choose the order in which I used the 5 implements of discipline on him. The first one he would receive 20, the next 16, the next 12, the next 8 and the last 4 very hard ones.

It was entertaining to watch him make his selections. I’ve used all of these on him in the past so he knew that they all can be quite painful. The psychology of having him chose his punishment really got inside his head. I could tell because he got an immediate erection. He chose to begin with the riding crop.

I had him lay across my mattress and I ordered him to count them out, starting at 20 and working backwards. I had him squirming by the time he reached 10. When he reached the number one, I reached my hand down to fondle his cock. It had gone completely limp. I, on the other hand, was getting very aroused.

I gave him a few minutes to recover before he had to choose the next implement. He chose the Spencer paddle.

I decided to go hard and fast with the paddle. James began his count at 16 but he couldn’t keep up and he lost count as his reciting of numbers turned into pleads of mercy. The Spencer paddle can have that effect on a slave. Because he lost count he probably endured twenty instead of sixteen. Oh well, his fault.

I gave him five minutes to recover before I made him chose the next implement. James selected the tawse.

None of his choices surprised me. In fact, I could have predicted his order with no problem. I know he really hates the cane, the strap and the tawse. Once again I made him count them out as I dished out 12 wicked slaps from the tawse. By this time I was getting very excited so I began to dole out some verbal abuse. In doing this, I was borrowing from what I had heard on the ClubDom video clips. I said things like “I told you it was going to hurt, Bitch”. And “take it, you bitch, you deserve to be punished, isn’t that right?”

I was having so much fun watching him squirm and wince. His ass was all red and a few bruises began to form. I took my hand and caressed his ass cheeks. They were on fire. “We’re almost done, just two more to go. Which one do you want next, the strap or the cane?”

James chose the strap and he grimaced because he knew this was not going to be enjoyable for him.

I took the strap and dished out eight, very slow and methodical wallops with the leather strap. James counted them out, beginning at 8 and working backwards to 1. His heavy breathing and the way he gripped the mattress with his hands left little doubt that he was finding his discipline to be quite a grueling experience. Poor baby!

We were now down to the last implement, the dreaded cane. I teased him by taking the cane and swishing it through the air, letting him anticipate what was about to befall him. I told him to brace himself as I placed my left hand on my hip and slowly drew back my right hand which was holding the cane. With a quick flick of my wrist, I brought it down across his already bruised ass. James practically jumped off the bed as he screamed out “One”.

I repeated this three more times and when the final cane struck its blow, I actually spotted a tear running down my hubby’s face. I had taken him to his limit and maybe just a tad over it. We have a safe word but he never used it. I was so proud of him for enduring this for me.

I was also extremely aroused so I quickly removed my leather outfit and ordered my beaten and broken hubby to orally worship my body. He found comfort at my breasts and he found contentment between my legs. It didn’t take me long as I climaxed very rapidly. But I wanted more so I ordered James to fetch my large black dildo and I had him pleasure me with it while he continued to suck my clit. The payoff was heavenly. I came again and this time it was even more intense.

James crawled up next to me and we cuddled until I feel asleep. It was a beautiful experience.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

ClubDom gets me in the mood

Not much to report on this weekend. I had a quiet non-eventful Saturday. I fooled around in my gardens (I have a flower garden and a tomato garden) while James attended to his weekend chores. He is in chastity and wearing my panties, of course, while he does his chores. I want to discipline him and had intended to do so last night but I was too tired after being out in the sun most the day.

I need some extra motivation so I was surfing the web today. I joined the site, “ClubDom” and watched several of their videos. Wow! Those women are real sadists. James could never endure whippings that brutal. The woman Brianna is gorgeous and you can tell by her facial expressions and body language that she loves to dominate men. The woman Jean also has that sadistic look. I watched this one video where Brianna and Jean were dressed in leather cat-suits and they used bullwhips on this male slave. They bound him on a St Andrews cross and whipped him until he had marks and welts all over his backside. Very, very brutal.

Definitely too extreme for me but watching these two women really getting into it got my juices flowing. I think tonight I will break out my whips and give James a discipline session that he will not soon forget. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

The non-intimate hand-job

My poor hubby was in dire need for an orgasm after all the teasing and denial I’ve done with him lately. He’s been a good boy, doing all of his chores and not complaining when I went away for the weekend with Chase. I felt he deserved some relief but I wanted to play head games and incorporate humiliation play while I reinforced to him that I am under no obligation to be intimate with him. My thought process was to drive home the point that my orgasms are sacred whereas his orgasms are meaningless to me.

I had James kneel naked next to me and I put on a yellow dishwashing glove over my right hand. Why dishwashing gloves? For two reasons really, first the glove lets him know that I don’t want any of his cum to touch my lovely skin. The second reason is for the domestic implications. My domesticated husband wears these gloves to do the dishes and other domestic chores but I wear the gloves to shield my hands from his male emission. I feel that is a powerful statement I’m making to my husband and it reverses the traditional stereotype of the happy housewife.

I proceeded to give him a hand-job with my gloved hand while I flipped through the pages of a magazine with my left hand. I never once made eye contact with him and acted as if I was oblivious to his needs. My only comments to him were “Do what you must and do it fast because I have more important things to attend to.”

I brought my hubby to the edge and he asked for my permission to climax. “Do what you must” was my reply.

James climaxed all over the glove and some shot up into the air and landed on the towel I had placed on the floor beneath him. As he moaned from his orgasm, I kept stroking him as he squirmed in discomfort while I continued to totally ignore him. I did not make any eye contact with him but finally I raised my right hand to his face, placing the cum-covered dishwashing glove next to his mouth. “Lick it clean” I commanded as I continued to flip through the magazine.

James thanked me for his orgasm but I acted indifferent. “Put the towel in the dirty laundry basket and go and tend to your chores”.

I believe the non-intimate orgasm is a wonderful way to remind a husband that sex and the male orgasm are exclusive of each other unless I decide to unify them together. This exercise allowed me to emphasize to James that his orgasm is of no concern to me and that I, and I alone, control if, when and how he is permitted sexual relief.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Kathleen meets Mistress Jaleen

Between 2001 and 2007 I advertised looking for other FemDom couples to meet and perhaps ‘play’ with. I’d estimate that James and I met two dozen or so couples over this seven year period.

In 2001, I was contacted by a woman in the western section of Maryland who went by the scene name Mistress Jaleen. She had a website but she was not a professional. She and her husband were seeking another FemDom couple to play with. I met Jaleen for lunch and we felt comfortable with each other so she offered me an invitation to come and visit her and her husband at their home.

You never know what to expect when meeting new people where your common interest is centered on your sex life. In the course of meeting FemDom couples we pretty much ran the entire gambit from curiosity seekers to novices to light players to those who were experienced. But never in my wildest imagination was I prepared for what I was about to witness the night James and I drove into the mountains and were entertained by Mistress Jaleen and her husband.

When I had lunch with her, Jaleen seemed reserved and very sweet. She was a pretty blonde and she said she was a housewife and a mother of two. The woman I met for lunch did not seem anything like the woman featured on her website. She never showed her face on the website but her web persona came across as a sadist who was married to a masochist. Her site was all about their FemDom exploits.

Jaleen told me that her husband was a genius, a successful engineer, and that she was deeply in love with him. I asked her if her husband was really a masochist or was the site more of a fantasy. She downplayed the site and she mostly wanted to discuss the challenges she faced and the excitement involved in having a secret life. In her day to day life she was simply Joan to her family and friends. But thanks to her website (her husband created and maintained the site) she was the sadistic Mistress Jaleen.

I related to what she was saying because in many ways I also lived a double life. We connected that day over lunch and I was very much looking forward to meeting her husband and possibly ‘playing’ with this couple. James was just getting over a cold, in fact we almost canceled, but he began to feel better and he was anxious to meet them.

To be honest, I was expecting them to be rather low-key and I even told my husband not to expect too much because there was no guarantee any D/s interactions would occur. We had been invited over to their house in a nice, rural neighborhood, he was an engineer and she was a housewife, so how wild could it be, right?

We sat in their living room and chatted for maybe an hour and Jaleen was just as reserved and sweet as she was the day I met her for lunch. Her husband seemed very nice and you could tell he was an intelligent man. Then at some point in the conversation they asked us if we wanted to ‘play’. I had brought a leather outfit and some of my toys and I had James go out to the car to fetch the small suitcase I had placed them in.

My initial thought was, ‘where are we going to play?’ There in the living room of did they have a basement or what were they thinking?’ They invited us downstairs to their rec room and then her husband hit a button that opened up a wall and on the other side was this huge and elaborate dungeon. I mean it had bondage furniture and all kinds of equipment.  Jaleen’s play space was twice the size of the play space Mistress Morgan had in Pittsburgh and she was a professional.

There had to be tens of thousands of dollars worth of toys and gear inside this dungeon. There were all types of whips and paddles on the wall. There were leather hoods and gas masks and torture devices. There was a bondage bench, a bondage table, a leather sling, a St. Andrews cross, and a stockade. You had to see this place to believe it. I was totally floored. Jaleen’s husband had designed and built this dungeon and it was little wonder they were seeking other couples to play with. They had to be proud of it and wanted to show it off to other people. It even had a changing room where Jaleen kept her fetish outfits.

Jaleen and I went into the changing room and got dressed while our husbands waited for us in the dungeon. The rest of the night was not for the faint of heart and definitely not for novices. We were not in their league when it came to intensity level. The sweet and reserved Jaleen became a wild woman. It was as if once she put on her leather outfit she took on a different personality. It was quite a contrast. From the first time I talked to her she could do nothing but brag about her husband, calling him a genius and the love of her life. But once she emerged in her fetish attire, she began to verbally belittle and humiliate him, using the most vulgar language, it totally caught me off guard.

I can’t recall everything that went on that night but I know we placed our husbands in bondage and began to discipline them. It didn’t take long for us to realize that Jaleen had a definite sadistic streak in her and her husband was a genuine masochist. She beat the crap out of him. She slapped him around, she kicked him with her boots (including shots to his balls) and she reduced him down to lower than low. It was so intense that James became a little ill. Between still being a little weak from getting over his cold and the shock of seeing Jaleen in action (she actually made her husband bleed from whipping his back) James requested if he could sit it out for a while. I had whipped James and dominated him moderately but nothing like what Jaleen was doing to her husband.

I untied James from the St. Andrews cross and he took a seat on the leather couch in the corner of the room. Jaleen asked if I would do the honors and continue her husband’s whipping. She assured me he had a safe word and he would use it if it became too severe. Jaleen encouraged me to whip her husband hard so I obliged but I kept it confined to his ass. While I was whipping him, Jaleen began to kiss him and tease him. She was getting very turned on and she slid off her leather shorts and she began to rub her pussy against his body. I didn’t know what to do as this erotic scene unfolded so I just kept whipping him. I have no idea if Jaleen climaxed or not but she definitely approved of the whip marks I left on her husband’s butt.

I had never whipped a man that hard in my life, and I don’t think I’ve whipped a man that hard since, but I must confess that I was getting turned on watching this couple interact with each other in a sadomasochistic display. It was a very wild scene.

James eventually rejoined the fun and things slowed down to the place where the guys were on their hands and knees groveling before us and worshipping our boots. Jaleen had a throne which she sat on and her husband worshipped and served her as she sat upon her throne. She even allowed me to sit upon it and both men catered to my every whim (kissing my hands, licking my boots, confessing their devotion).

Finally, things heated up again between Jaleen and her husband and we just observed as she bound him on a table and began to torture his cock and balls. I’m not even positive of what I was watching but she had him squirming and literally screaming, but he never once used his safe word. It ended when he finally climaxed as she was torturing his genitals. Crazy, crazy stuff.

The entire night was a real education for James and me. To be truthful, I’m sure we disappointed them in that we were not on par with them when it came to S&M. After we departed their dungeon (all of us changing back into our street clothes), we chatted with them in their living room and they were as nice as could be, thanking us and telling us how they had a wonderful time. But Jaleen never wrote me again, and I never wrote her. Six months later her website was removed. I have no idea why or what happened but they sure did give me and James a night we will never forget.

Monday, August 8, 2011

My all-time favorite D/s session

A reader of my bog e-mailed me and asked if I could describe my all-time favorite D/s session. My goodness that’s difficult to say. They’re prone to blend into each other when it comes to memories. I’ve done sessions with clients, I’ve played with other couples, I’ve played with people at ClubFEM and God knows how many wonderful sessions I’ve had with my husband.

In going through old e-mails that I wrote back and forth with Hillary I came across one that jogged my memory of a great session I once had with James. It was so “hot” that I had to share it with Hillary. It was one of those rare sessions when I experienced a total body orgasm. Those who have experienced this know of what I speak. Every so often the stars align and everything comes together during a D&S session. If only that would happen all the time but you never know when it will happen. A session will come to fruition where my dominant energy and James’ submissive energy will fuse together to generate a sexual sonata. It has happened more than once but not often enough to subtract from it being a special and rare experience. 

On this one particular night James and I were at home relaxing in our living room. I looked over at him and I had the urge to dominate him. I had the urge to whip him. Why this happens, I don’t know. I equate it with a woman being in the mood for sex. There are nights when I am in the mood to dominate my husband.

What was special about this night was that James was in the mood to be dominated. I could see it in his face and neither of us had to say a word. I excused myself and exited to the bedroom where I opened my cedar chest to choose my wardrobe. I selected my favorite outfit of leather corset, thigh-high leather boots and long leather gloves. I walked back into the living room, the spiked heels of my boots echoing off the walls as they walked across the hardwood floor. James immediately fell under my spell. I knew from his body language that we were in complete harmony.

I motioned for him to undress, I placed a collar around his neck, I firmly gripped the leash, climbed on his back and gave the leash a firm tug. James crawled on all fours as I rode him to the bedroom. He was primed to be dominated.

I don’t remember all the foreplay that took place. I am sure I had him perform boot worship. We both enjoy it when James worships my boots while they encase my feet and legs. Then I tied him face down on our King-sized poster bed with nylon ropes. I like to make sure he is totally immobile prior to dishing out a good helping of discipline.

In our bedroom, next to my cedar chest is an antique armoire where I keep my whips, paddles and other such gear and apparatus. I opened the armoire so I could have full access to my implements. I don’t recall the order but I began a long, slow and methodical discipline session on my husband. I believe I began with my soft floggers. I started with one as a warm up and graduated to using two at the same time, one in each hand, whipping James’ back and ass with a windmill motion, using both floggers simultaneous.

Next, I believe I chose a riding crop. I like to tease James with the riding crop, running it over his body, giving him a sensual massage with the soft, leather tip, only to catch him unaware by flicking my wrist to send a painful sensation to his ass. I can really get inside his head with the riding crop. He doesn’t know what is coming next, pleasure or pain. I also like to get inside his fantasies by calling him names that stimulates his desires. I might call James names like “my pet”, “my emasculated slut”, “my pussy-whipped hubby” and “my bitch”.

The energy on this particular night was so intense that I had that tingling in my pussy and I was warm all over with sexual fire. When this happens, I will finger my clit while I am whipping James, just enough to tease myself and just enough to bring out more of my passion. I like to moan and groan so James knows that I am turned on. I want him to know that it turns me on to whip him like this.

After a long, sensual session with the riding crop, I believe I went to the more intense implements. Once James is at that certain place I know I can take it up a notch. I worked him over with the tawse. For those unfamiliar with the tawse, it is a thick, hard piece of leather that splits into three parallel tails. It hurts much more than a basic leather paddle. Next, I am pretty sure I went to the dreaded strap. The strap is similar to the tawse but the one I have carries more of a wallop than my tawse. Both are painful and James does not like either one but if I can get him into that certain submissive space, he can endure them.

All of this was merely a warm-up for the cane. My how James hates the cane. He usually cannot take much from the cane. But this night he far exceeded his usual limits. I didn’t draw blood or anything nearly that severe, however I created an artistic creation on James’ ass, a crisscross of lines and stripes and James endured it. His moans and his body language turned me on so much that I had to cease fingering myself because I was on the edge of orgasm.

I held off as long as I could while I continued the slow, methodical work of art on his ass. My body was tingling, my nipples were erect, my pussy was soaking wet, my breathing was laboring, and I knew I could not last any longer.

There was no time to untie James, so I cut the ropes with the emergency scissors I keep on the nightstand whenever I have James bound this tightly. I cut the ropes and rolled him over and straddled his head and rubbed my pussy against his face. James began to lick my clit while I played with my nipples. I felt it coming from deep within my core. It was like hot water coming to a boil on the stove. I thought I was going to faint, it was so intense, and then it happened. I had a total body orgasm that ran from my feet through to my head.

My screams of ecstasy were so loud that I scared James out of his subspace. But just as he began to ease up on his oral servitude, I was able to yell out “Don’t stop!” With that James continued and I had orgasm after orgasm until I collapsed on top of him and rolled onto the bed. I was drained but totally satisfied.

Just writing this makes me wet. I want to do this again, maybe tonight, but that’s the problem. You can’t plan sessions like this. They must happen on their own when those D/s stars are perfectly aligned. Living with your submissive makes this more common but it’s still rare. When it happens it needs to be cherished.

Sunday, August 7, 2011


I’ve been exploring ‘objectification’ with my husband this week. In the evenings, after he’s cooked me dinner and finished washing the dishes, he joins me in the living room where I ‘objectify’ him. One night I used him as my foot stool as I relaxed and read a book. The next night I used him as my nightlight as he had to stand next to my chair and shine a light down on the book as I continued to read it. Then Friday night I used him as a human tray. He had to stand still and balance my drink and snacks on the tray he was holding while I watched a movie. I made him stand to the side but facing me so he couldn’t view the television which forced him to focus all of his attention on me. I should also point out that he was totally naked for all three of these evenings.

My inspiration for exploring ‘objectification’ was a series of pictures I came across.

I think these represent perfectly the concept of female supremacy and male servitude. I totally ignored my husband while he served me. I didn’t speak to him. The only time I recognized his existence was when he would shift his body or sigh as if he were becoming bored. When he did that, I picked up my crop and gave him a hard smack across his buttocks to remind him that he must concentrate and focus.

One interesting item of note is that James had an erection the entire time and at no time did he go limp. This told me everything I needed to know about how he felt about being treated as an inanimate object.

I don’t know how often I will treat him like this but in the future I would like to get some ‘toys’ to make the objectification more fun. I once reviewed the movie “Cuckold Husband” from the website ‘Divine Bitches’. In browsing the videos and pictures on that site I came across this picture.

An item like this would make the ‘human tray’ much more entertaining. I’m not sure where I could get something like that but I’ll have to look around.

Last night I had a date with Chase while hubby stayed home and did his chores. Nothing really to write about (that I care to share) but I had a wonderful night and hubby was extremely frustrated in his chastity device and wearing my panties while he did his chores knowing his wife was being wined and dined by another man.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

More memories from my FemDom past

I’ve been going through some old e-mails back when I communicated with Elise, Hillary and other dominant women. Here is one from 2001:

Hi Elise,

James did have a session with Brianna on Sunday. It went very well. She did everything I asked her to do. I gave her a very detailed e-mail of what I wanted done, and couldn't have been happier from what my husband tells me happened.
I gave James a decent spanking when he got home, but his butt was still very sore from what she did. She left some nice marks from the caning (that was something I wasn't expecting). She also sent him home with some of that rubberized ace bandaging (that is used in sports medicine) wrapped around his cock and balls. Very effective. He had a serious case of blue-balls.
After I spanked him we had a long talk. He told me all about the session, but he also told me about the long talk he had with Brianna. She seems like someone I would like to get to know. She told James we should become members of the Black Rose even if we aren't able to come to many meetings. She said that networking and meeting many different types of people in this lifestyle is what we should be doing.

Brianna told James that we need to keep the lines of communication open between us. That yes, I am the dom, and yes I own his c/b, orgasms, etc., but that we should discuss all forms of play before engaging in it. I will consider sending him back to her if I feel he is slipping or hasn't measured up to my expectations.

I had another phone call today. Am doing a third session with Richard tomorrow, and one with Larry on Friday.
Also, I will be meeting with Mistress Jaleen on Wednesday. I’ll write and tell you about that. I'll keep you posted on everything.



This e-mail brings back various memories.

I had met Brianna at the BR-2000 and I sent James to her to be punished. I don’t remember exactly why but I wanted more obedience from him when it came to doing chores and I thought a professional like Brianna could help.

I gave her a list of what I wanted done to him and the main thing was for her to punish him while telling him that as a submissive husband he must do a better job at doing chores around the house. She took things further than I expected and she left stripes on his ass from her cane. She also did some tease and denial play and tied his cock and balls up with a blue rubberized bandage. He had to drive from her dungeon in DC back home (almost 3 hours) with his cock wrapped up like that. His balls were swollen and very sore.

When he got home, I gave him a spanking and made him tell me all about his session. James was very contrite and obedient and I was impressed. I cut the bandage off of him and had him worship my body. I recall that he was very passionate. And his performance in doing chores picked up significantly in the weeks and months that followed. So my idea of sending him to Brianna turned out to be a smashing success.

This e-mail also talks about me doing phone calls. I was pretty much in the swing of things by this time and I was booking clients right and left.

Finally, this e-mail mentions me going to meet Mistress Jaleen. She was a lifestyle Mistress from Maryland that contacted me. She and her husband were seeking another FemDom couple to play with. I met Jaleen for lunch and we felt comfortable with each other so she offered me an invitation to come and visit her and her husband at their home at a future date. I took her up on this and it was a very interesting night, to say the least. I will write about it in a future post.