Friday, December 30, 2011

Slave for a day

Both my hubby and I were off yesterday so I decided to fulfill one of his fantasies (and mine but more his). I treated James like a slave, a real slave, all day long for 24 straight hours. I know some couples say they have a Mistress/slave relationship but the reality is that day-to-day life and responsibilities make it impracticable for most people. We have a Femdom marriage with a Dom/sub relationship. I am in charge and my hubby submits to me but we also have many vanilla interactions with each other, that to the casual eyes of those who do not know what we do behind closed doors doesn’t differentiate our marriage from most other marriages.
However, there is the fantasy of a Mistress/slave relationship and yesterday we embraced those roles. The day began at 8:00 with James completely naked other than his slave collar and his ankle and wrist cuffs. He prepared me breakfast and served it to me in bed. Then he prepared my bath and bathed me, dried me off, blow dried and brushed my hair and assisted me as I got dressed in a leather outfit. My outfit consisted of black leather pants, white mock turtleneck, black leather vest, and leather gloves.
I attached a leash to his collar and led him to the cold side of the basement where I strung him up by his wrist cuffs, tying them to hooks installed in a beam in the basement ceiling. I then administered his morning whipping with my long handle riding crop. I guesstimate I dished out between 18 to two dozen moderate kisses from the crop.
I left him there for fifteen minutes while I changed from my leather pants into jeans. I then untied him and gave him a list of chores he was to do for me while I did some shopping. He remained naked but was thankful most of his chores were upstairs in the warm house.
I returned home around 3:00pm and James was still tending to his chores. The house looked impeccable as he had straightened up, vacuumed, and dusted. I ordered him to fix me a snack and I allowed him to eat a sandwich as he sat on the floor next to the chair where I was partaking of my snack. After lunch, I took him back to the basement and reattached his wrist cuffs to the beam. I changed from my jeans back into my leather pants and I dished out his afternoon beating. This time I used the tawse and a leather strap. He is not a fan of either of these items of discipline but such is the life of a slave.
I then took him to the kitchen where I attached a chain to his collar and attached the other end to the pipes under the kitchen sink. I handed him a toothbrush and a bucket of soapy water. I ordered him to scrub the kitchen tile with the toothbrush as he remained on his knees until the entire floor was clean. I changed into something a little more comfortable (sweatpants and a sweatshirt) and I got on the computer and went through my e-mail. It took James a little over two hours to complete his chore. His knees were killing him by the time he was done. Oh well, a slave must be willing to suffer for his Mistress.
I then had my slave cook me dinner. His orders were to prepare a nice table, complete with candles and my finest silverware. I approved his meal of pork chops, sauerkraut and applesauce. My slave went about his cooking, still naked, still wearing his slave collar and his wrist and ankle cuffs, while I continued reading my book about the rock band Led Zeppelin.
At 7:30, dinner was served. I changed into black bra and black panties and put on my heavy, wool bathrobe. I was seated at the table and my slave poured me a glass of red wine. I ate my dinner on the decorated Christmas Corelle plate and finest silverware while my slave ate his seated on the floor next to me, off of a paper plate and using plastic-ware.
After dinner, I had my slave clear the table and then join me in the living room. I drank another glass of wine while he sat on the floor and tended to my feet. He gave me a foot massage, and with my permission, he sucked my toes and planted lovely kisses on the pretty feet of his Mistress. I undid my robe to reveal my bra and panties and I told him to prepare the massage table. However, I also told him that he was to take a quick shower because he was sweaty from doing all of his chores.
It was now around 10:00 and prior to the massage, I decided to administer to my slave his nightly beating. I wasn’t in the mood to dress back up in leather and I didn’t want to head back to the basement, so I gave my slave the highest honor of laying his just washed naked body across my bed. I removed my robe and wearing just the black bra and panties set, I whipped my slave with a series of whips. I started with a flogger. Then I graduated to the short handle riding crop and I topped it off with a half dozen strokes from my cane.
My slave was nice and marked up, the way a slave should be, and then we headed across the hall where he had prepared the massage table. My slave gave me a wonderful full body massage which lasted a good 90 minutes. Then to top it off, I ordered him to worship my body and to bring his Mistress to multiple orgasms using his gifted slave tongue. It was absolutely heavenly.
To top off the night, I ordered my slave to sleep on the floor at the foot on my bed, naked and with only a thin blanket. This morning, I proclaimed that the 24 hours were up and that he could return to his submissive hubby role, which still requires him to do everything that I say, but he is allowed again to wear clothes and there was no morning beating in the basement. I told him not to fret because we will be doing the ‘slave for a day’ thing again in the near future.

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Ritual submission unto death

I finished reading “Searching for Wanda” last night. I enjoyed the second half of the book every bit as much as the first half. In chapter 13, Elise focuses on the masochist’s search for the female torturer. Interviewing both men and women who have been there, Elise takes us behind the walls of the now defunct Other World Kingdom in the Czech Republic, a place where women dominated, brutalized and tortured paying male clients. The entire place was a fantasy camp for Femdom couples and lifestylers who wanted to leave the real world for a few days and enter into a kingdom of absolute female supremacy where women ruled and men were slaves.
James and I talked about going to the OWK. A couple in our ClubFEM group, Alex and Steve, had been there and we talked about organizing a group trip. It never materialized and now the place has closed. Alex said the place was rather deserted and low key when they were there, but they still had a good time. In “Wanda”, Elise shows the reader what a stay at the OWK was like, from both the slaves’ perspective and the Mistresses perspective. I would have loved to have attended one of their large celebrations where they had slave games, slave auctions, slave hunts and many other creative activities. Oh well, you snooze, you lose. We should have gone to the OWK when we had the chance.
The other chapter in “Wanda” that I wanted to comment on was chapter 14. This chapter is a look at masochists who fantasize about making the ultimate sacrifice for their Mistress. Sounds very morbid and mentally unhinged, and it is, but when you read some of these men’s fantasies, you can at least understand the erotic elements behind the fantasies. Here are some examples from the book;
Robert is a successful dentist who constantly battles intense masochistic desires;
“I have fantasies that scare away many Pro-Dommes. I’ve had them hang the phone up once I told them what turns me on sexually. My fantasies generally concern me being brought close to demise. One such scene is a slow hanging where whilst heavily restrained my noose would be attached to a suspension unit. I would then be slowly lifted bit by bit off my knees as a group of women sit around getting off on my predicament. I can just picture a cruel beauty with the suspension control in her hand as her long red painted finger nail seductively brushes over the button, looking at me excitedly knowing that she could end my life on a whim.
I once saw a great smother scene in the movie ‘Million Eyes of Su-Muru’ that captured that cruel look on women’s faces as a man is smothered to death. That is what I want to experience, naturally I don’t want to die, but I want to go to the edge and have a woman in control of whether I survive.” 
The scene Robert described comes from the 1967 spy movie “The Million Eyes of Su-Muru”. In one of the early scenes, we see Erno (Ursula Rank) entering a room full of beautiful women. The women are seated comfortably, sipping champagne, smoking cigarettes, and they are obviously enthralled by something as they stare intently downward toward the middle of the room. As Ursula Rank gets her own glimpse, we see an oriental man with his mouth taped shut, struggling as an attractive brunette (played by Denise Davreaux with an amused and devious look on her face) has her legs wrapped around the man’s neck, squeezing her thighs tightly around the sides of the struggling man’s face. The brunette looks toward Erno and asks; “Mercy?”
Erno shakes her head “No” and with that, the brunette snaps the man’s neck with her thighs, instantly killing him. This scene has become a favorite among submissive men who have seen this film as it represents a masochist’s ultimate fantasy, to be toyed with and tormented by a dominant female while other dominant women look on with amusement. The fact that it ends in death makes it the ultimate sacrifice for the cause.
I once reviewed “The Millions Eyes of Su-Muru” for Predominant and I remember the scene that Robert described. The thought I had as I was reading “Wanda” is that Robert was viewing the film from the same vantage point as the sadistic women. He was a spectator and thus he had more in common with the female sadists (being sexually aroused at what he was watching) than he did with the male who was being snuffed out. Just a personal observation. Here are some other fantasies along the same lines shared by masochists in “Wanda”;
A fantasy of mine is to be mummified and restricted to breathing through a very long narrow tube which is fairly difficult to draw breath through. The far away end of this tube would be part of a vibrating toy of some kind with the airway being blocked as the toy is used by a femme fatale, relaxing on a nearby armchair, maintaining eye contact with me, dominating me with her stare and her evil smile as she pleasures herself.

And still another fantasy of mine is to be restrained face up in water, a bath or pool and for my captor to be close to climax and for the last minute she would grind on my face forcing me under water where I would remain feeling her earthly shudders as I nearly slipped away. The risk/pleasure ratio is highly erotic in this one. I think the allure of this is the perpetrator's depersonalizing disregard for the man’s safety in the face of obtaining their pleasure. It gets me every time.”
Elise then gets into the psychology behind these kinds of fantasies as she talks about the correlation between masochism and what Freud called ‘the death urge hypothesis’.
So I must ask the question. Do any of the readers of my blog have similar fantasies? And it’s not exclusive to submissive men. Do any dominant women ever fantasize about having that kind of power over a slave? I am making the obvious assumption that it is fantasy only and any role-play along these lines would be consensual with all safety precautions taken.
Anywho, “Searching for Wanda” is a fascinating read and I highly recommend it. I should mention that it is also available as a download e-book. Now it’s on to my next book which has nothing to do with the lifestyle. It is all about the legendary rock group Led Zeppelin.

Friday, December 23, 2011

Searching for Wanda

I’ve taken some vacation days to fill the gap between the holidays, which means I don’t have to go back to work until January 3. In addition to baking cookies (yes, I love to bake cookies around the holidays) and wrapping presents, I plan on catching up on my reading. I have lots of books I’ve wanted to read but haven’t had the time. Two nights ago I stated reading Elise Sutton’s book “Searching for Wanda”.

I know it’s hard to believe that I haven’t read it yet (forgive me Elise if you should happen to come across this post). She sent me a copy when it was first published last winter. I read the preface and introduction but sat it aside, intending to get back to it before now. But as they say, “Life happens”.
As I mentioned in one of the first posts when I started this blog, I was interviewed for both of Elise Sutton’s first two books, “Female Domination” and “The FemDom Experience”. However, I had nothing whatsoever to do with “Searching for Wanda”. That’s not surprising seeing that I am not a sadist and James is not a masochist in the clinical use of the word. I guess that’s why I wasn’t in a hurry to read it. Elise’s first two books were more about what I’m interested in, namely female domination within a loving marriage. A book that explores male masochism was not high on my must read list. But now I am ready to tackle it and I’ve read the first ten chapters the last two nights.
I must say, it’s a very compelling read. If you haven’t read it yet, I definitely recommend it (and I’m not just saying that because Elise wrote it). If I didn’t like the book, I would not be writing about it in my blog. I would have just ignored it.
Masochism is often misunderstood and that is apparent when you read “Wanda”. Elise quotes psychiatrists and psychologists from Freud to Kinsley to modern day psychologists and there doesn’t seem to be a consensus on the subject. I must say that reading this book has been a real education and an eye-opener when it comes to masochism. It is definitely a complex study but Elise has brought it down to a level where someone like me can understand. After reading this book, I might not be as quick to dismiss James from being labeled a masochist. He does exhibit some traits of a masochist from time to time. My hubby is not a fan of receiving pain (although he enjoys a good spanking and/or whipping if it’s in a sexual context) but masochism has more to do with the mind than the body. A man that experiences sexual arousal when he is being humiliated by his wife (like my hubby) is at the very least what Elise classifies as a mental masochist.
Elise takes a look at numerous masochists in this book but the main character of study is the man from whose name the word ‘masochist’ was devised, Leopold von Sacher-Masoch. Elise examines his life from childhood to death. I read Sacher-Masoch’s “Venus in Furs” probably ten years ago and I’ve reviewed the 1993 Dutch film version for “Predominant”, but I knew next to nothing about the author.

Elise’s study of Sacher-Masoch’s lifelong search for the cruel woman of his desires is a most fascinating tale. So far, he is the focal point of the book but the second half will deal with other masochists, both past and present. I’ll let you know more about my overall opinion of the book when I’m finished reading it.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Fetisch Film Festival

I was recently contacted by Andy, one of the organizers of the Fetisch Film Festival, the subcultural film conference that meets in Kiel, Germany each year. The Fetisch Film Festival explores narrative works about consensual erotic encounters. Andy is a fan of my movie reviews in the e-zine “Predominant” and he has extended a personal invitation for me to attend the Fetisch Film Festival next September.
Here is a list of the winners for 2011:
Best Film of the Year:
Directed by Sebastiano Montresor

Best Actress:
Emily Browning in SLEEPING BEAUTY

Best Actor:
William Van Noland in INDIETRO

Best Trans-Performance:

Best Shortfilm:

Best Actresses in a short film:
Anna Linng and Venus O’Hara

Best Actor in a short film:

Best Trans-Performance in a short film:

Best long Documentary:
Directed by Gerhard Stahl

Best short Documentary:
Directed by Mrs G.

Best Website of a filmproducer:

Best Musicvideo:
FETISH by Faith Michaels
Directed by Gaetano Guido

Best Concert Clip:
S&M by Rihanna featuring Britney Spears

Best long clip:

Best Female-Performer in a long clip:
Ariel Anderssen

Best Male Performer in a long clip:

Best Trans-Performance in a long clip:
Kallista Rene Eisha

Best short clip:

Best Female Performers in short clips:
Christina Carter in EROTIC DAYDREAMS (Restrained Elegance)
Janey in LADETTE TO LADY (Restrained Elegance)
Katey Cee in LADETTE TO LADY (Restrained Elegance)

Best Male Performer in a short clip 2011:
Sadoladies/Madame Charlotte

Best Trans-Performance in a short clip:

Best Membership-Websites:

Here is the film festival’s official Website

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Kathleen meets the Leather Lady

Between 2001 and 2007 I advertised looking for other FemDom couples to meet and perhaps ‘play’ with. I’d estimate that James and I met two dozen or so couples over this seven year period.
Around 2004, I was contacted by a couple from Germany. They were going to be in the United States visiting friends and they were interested in meeting other people who shared their kinks for Femdom and their fetish for leather. I thought I was communicating with the wife, Dionna, through e-mail. We exchanged numbers and I told Dionna to call me when they were in the United States. Weeks went by and I received a call from a man with a strong German accent. He introduced himself as Dionna’s husband, Gert. He said Dionna didn’t speak very good English.
I was hesitant to agree to meet this couple without talking to the wife. After all, what if this guy was single and he wanted to meet me for some strange reason. The saving grace for Gert was that he had sent me links to websites that featured his wife. In Europe, she was known as the Leather Lady. Gert published photos of his wife on various sites of her decked out in leather from head to toe. I showed the pictures to James and he was most interested in meeting the mysterious Leather Lady.

They were staying at the Omni Shoreham hotel, not too far from the DC Zoo. We booked a room at the same hotel and we met them for dinner. James and I dressed casually. So did Gert. But staying true to her persona, Dionna was adorned in black leather from head to toe, or I should say from leather hat to leather boot. She was wearing a leather trench coat, and underneath she was wearing a lovely leather dress. She of course had leather gloves and leather boots. She also had a wide-brim leather hat.
I’d say they were in their late 50’s or early 60’s. Gert was telling the truth when he said his wife didn’t speak English very well. She had a very strong German accent and I had trouble understanding her all night. We had dinner and then went to a bar around the corner for drinks. This was before the smoking ban in DC. Gert and Dionna were both very heavy smokers.
Gert and Dionna were very nice. We ended up back at the lounge at the Omni Shoreham and Gert told us stories about some of the couples they’ve met and played with in Europe. I deduced that Gert was more of a fetishist than a submissive. His mode of Femdom was to worship his wife when she was adorned in leather. He loved to take pictures of her and post them on the internet for other leather fetishists. He also liked to take pictures of her as a Dominatrix, with her posing in leather and brandishing a whip.

That led to them being contacted by masochists. According to Gert, Dionna began playing with a few masochists while Gert watched. Dionna came to enjoy whipping men and Gert loved to watch men groveling before his wife.
They invited us up to their room. I made it clear to Gert that we were only interested in D&S play and nothing beyond that. Once I was convinced that he understood, James and I went back to our room and I changed into my own leather outfit. I mean after all, I can be a leather lady too, when I choose to be.
If I recall correctly, I believe my outfit was leather pants, a leather halter, and leather gloves. I put my coat on over my outfit and we walked to their room. When we got to their room, the leather lady had changed into a different outfit than the one she had worn out. She was in thigh high boots, a leather corset and elbow length leather gloves, all of the highest quality.
Gert was wearing a pair of leather shorts and a collar (no shirt). James was in street clothes but for some reason I don’t remember what I made him change into once we got to their room. It might have been nothing but a leather thong or a pair of my panties.
They had a very large room but playing in a hotel room is very constricting, at least I felt restrictive. Gert asked if he could take some pictures of me in my leather outfit. I granted him permission as long as my face was hidden. Dionna gave me a mask that she had brought with her, so I put it on and Gert took pictures of me in various poses. I often wondered if any of those pictures made it onto German fetish sites.

We played a little in their hotel room but nothing to write home about. James ended up licking the leather lady’s boots and my pants, and we both spanked him with our gloved hands. Gert was more of a voyeur than a submissive. He seemed to enjoy watching me and his wife dominating James more than he enjoyed being dominated. I didn’t bring any whips or paddles with me and the only whip Dionna had was a bullwhip. James was not a masochist and besides, there was no way you could use a bullwhip inside a hotel room without making a lot of noise. So he had to settle for having his ass smacked by two leather ladies. This was one of the rare times when James got most of the attention. He licked a lot of leather that night. In fact, the next morning at breakfast, I noticed his tongue was all black and had a few blisters from all that leather licking.

Gert e-mailed me a few times after that. We had an open invitation to come visit them in Germany. But the last I heard from him they were going to be moving to Sweden. Thus, my one and only encounter with the Leather Lady.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Not too early to be thinking about New Year’s resolutions

2012 is right around the corner so I sat down the other night and made out a list of personal goals for the new year. On my list were a few non-Femdom items such as joining a gym and beginning on my new diet. However, I have some Femdom goals as well. The biggest is taking more control of my husband’s finances.

This is a big step and one I’ve wanted to do for years. I’ve read about dominant women who require that their husband’s paychecks be deposited into the wife’s private account. To be honest, I never thought I could get my hubby to agree to this. I know this will really be stretching his limits but I think it’s time.

Right now his check is direct deposited into a joint account. My plan is to open an account at the same bank under my name only. Using on-line banking, I will move his check from the joint account into my personal account every payday. Then I will put my hubby on a strict allowance. If he needs additional funds, he will have to come to me and gain my permission. Of course I will make it fun for him. That’s the key to a successful Femdom marriage. There has to be a motivation factor.

I recalled reading about a couple who did this in Elise Sutton’s book “Female Domination”. I went back and found the passage and I really like how they go about it. Her name is Jessica and here is the passage;

“My husband and I recently have come to a unique arrangement regarding our finances. The underlying thesis of our plan is that all of our marital assets belong to me … If hubby wants more than his allowance, I allow him to have a special hearing before the Queen, which is held in our bedroom. I wear a long black satin robe, and black garter belt with stockings, and nothing else and sit on the bed. He will knock at the door and after I say "Enter" he will come in and kneel before me totally nude. I then say "Yes" and he bends down and kisses the top of each foot and says, “My Mistress, I have come to petition your Highness to allow me to have additional funds from Her Majesty's Treasury." I will then listen to his request and grant or deny it.

 If I deny it he is stood in the corner and whipped with a riding crop for wasting my time, and then made to kneel in a corner for thirty minutes to think about why he was punished. If I grant it he is required to kiss the top and bottom of each of my feet, and say "Thank you my Queen." Sometimes I'll condition my grant upon his putting his head between Her Majesty's legs and licking her to orgasm within fifteen minutes, and failure will be punished as mentioned above.

Family budgeting can be fun, especially in a Female Supremacist Household. The last day of the year he'll be up for review to see if he deserves a raise (in his allowance), which will depend on how well he's served me over the year, which will be measured by his performance at work and at home.”

I will tweak how Jessica does it to fit my personality but overall I like her little ritual. Now I must find the perfect situation to inform my hubby of this big change that is forthcoming in 2012. I’m thinking of breaking the news to him during an intense D&S session.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Christmas Shopping with my hubby

I went Christmas shopping today with my hubby. Normally he hates to shop but I decided to add a little Femdom to motivate him. First, I had him wear a chastity device. I chose the ClubFEM chastity device, called the MCD, because it has the sharp plastic spikes which can be painful and it also ensures he would not gain an embarrassing erection out in public. I then had him put on a pair of my panties, bright red, over the chastity device. He wore tan Dockers and a sweater as his outer garments.

I also put on a sweater but I added a pair of leather pants to my outfit to make the day a little more interesting. I knew the leather pants would excite James and provide a challenge to him. If he got too excited, the plastic spikes from the MCD would be a quick reminder that I am in control of his erections.

We began by getting breakfast at Bob Evans and we were at the mall by 10:00 am. We shopped non-stop until 5:00. James was worn out by the time I was done, but I had a marvelous time. James had to follow two steps behind me at all times with his eyes focused on my leather clad ass. He had to pay for all of my purchases and he had to carry all of my bags and packages. He also was forbidden to speak unless I asked him a direct question.

The bag carrying is also a great exercise in Femdom when we travel together. I never use the hotel bellmen. Why should I when I have my own slave to carry my bags? It always reminds me of the novel “Venus in Furs”.

This is the only way to go shopping with your husband. James, like most men, was a chronic complainer when we went shopping (pre-Femdom days) and I like to take my time so he used to take the fun out of it for me. But when I add Femdom to the shopping trip equation, he becomes the perfect helpmate.

When we got home, I examined his genitals and he must have fought off a number of erections throughout the day because the plastic spikes had dug deeply into his cock. It was a painful ordeal when I removed the MCD. He grimaced terribly as I pulled the spikes away from his skin. I teased, “See what happens when you stare at your wife’s ass all day!”

If he would have disobeyed me or gotten on my nerves today, a punishment would have been the order of business when we got home. Perhaps a spanking or maybe the dreaded cane. However, James was the perfect shopping slave today so I have no complaints.

But I think I’ll keep with the slave husband thing tonight and have him prepare me a bubble bath and have him bathe me. Then he will worship my body and service his Mistress the way a good slave should.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Long spanking session

After doing chores all day long, my hubby took a shower and I caught a glimpse of his marked ass when he came out of the shower. There were two really nice welts on there from his punishment that I administered earlier in the day with my cane. I walked over to him and groped his cute ass and commented on how excited he was making me. I wanted to punish him some more, not because I felt he deserved it but simply because the thought was really turning me on. I could tell James wasn’t in the mood. He was tired and hungry and he was ready to just chill for the rest of the night. I, on the other hand, was getting very turned on. The selfish Kathleen won out over the compassionate Kathleen.

I changed into something simple yet still sexy. I put on a leather bra and a leather thong, no boots, no stockings, nothing elaborate, just a bra and a thong. I got out my leather paddle and I ordered my reluctant hubby across my lap. I caressed his ass and closely examined the marks I had left with the cane. I then proceeded to spank him with the leather paddle and it was a long spanking session, the longest we’ve had in a good while. I started out slow and light but I increased it to hard and fast. I had him squirming and begging for mercy. I know I have him where I want him when he starts to reach back to block the paddle with his hand. That’s a big No No, so I stopped his spanking temporarily, just long enough to go to my chest and get out the pair of thumb cuffs. I cuffed his thumbs with his hands across his chest and I guided him back across my lap. I continued with the hard spanking and he was totally helpless. He endured the marathon spanking session and by the time I was finished, his ass was a bright shade of red.

I caressed his butt cheeks and they were nice and hot. I love to touch a man’s ass after he has been thoroughly spanked. If I had been feeling a little more ambitious, I would have broken out my strap-on. I love to take a man from behind after he’s been thoroughly spanked. I love to feel the heat coming from a reddened bottom against my hands as I take a man with my strap-on. But not this time. Instead, I unlocked the thumb cuffs and I had him worship my body. I pulled my breasts out of my bra and I removed the leather thong. He orally pleasured me and I held out as long as possible, enjoying the pleasurable sensations from his tongue. Finally I had my orgasm.

We spent the rest of the night just chilling. And just so you know that I’m not a complete bitch, and that compassionate Kathleen does exist, I gave my hubby the rest of the weekend off from his chores so he can enjoy some much needed R&R. But his ass is going to be sore and tender for days.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Being married to a dominant woman is not all fun and games

Ever since I‘ve been involved with the Femdom lifestyle, men have told me how they envy my husband. It happened all the time when I did phone calls and I still get the occasional e-mails from admirers who tell me how they would love to trade places with James. But never forget that being married to a dominant woman is not all fun and games.

Today is a perfect example. I got up early and went shopping with a girlfriend. I’ve been looking for a cutlery set for a Christmas gift. I came across one at a store but I was hesitant to buy it without doing some research, but it was on sale so I needed to make a quick decision. I called James because I wanted him to get on Amazon and check the price and the reviews before I made the purchase. I first called him on our landline but he didn’t pick up. Then I called him on his cell. Again he didn’t pick up. I waited an hour and tried him again. Still no answer. I left messages but he didn’t call me back right away. I was getting very mad.

He finally called me back but by this time me and my girlfriend had driven to a different store. James was outside doing items on his hubby-do list but he forgot to take his cell phone with him. I made him go inside and look up the information for me on the computer but I told him that he would be punished when I got home. I don’t like it when I can’t get a hold of him and he knows he is to always have his phone with him.

I will be the first to admit that I can be a real selfish bitch when things don’t go my way. I can be a patient woman but not with James. Years of dominating him has definitely effected our relationship in that I expect him to be at my beckon call. When he disappoints me, I know I have the power in the relationship to punish him. That’s just the way it is.

When I got home, he was outside putting a cover over the air conditioner unit in preparation for the winter. I ordered him to unload my car and carry my bags inside. Then I told him to go into the bedroom. I ordered him to strip naked and lay across the bed. He tried to justify his mistake, making excuses. I ordered him to silence. I told how frustrated I was at the store, unable to get a hold of him, and how mad I got when he didn’t call me back.

I opened my toy chest and got out a cane. This would not be a D&S session with a warm-up flogging. I did not change into a leather outfit. I was totally clothed in jeans and a sweater. I administered a dozen, hard and firm blows with the cane and when I was done he had a few welts on his ass. It was not fun and games. When I was done, I commanded that he resume with his chores.

Am I a prima donna? Yes, I admit I can be temperamental and selfish and not very forgiving when it comes to my husband. However, that’s what he loves about me. He wanted me to be selfish when I began to explore my dominant side. He has had to learn to take the good with the bad. I know he hates to be at my beckon call. He hates it when I interrupt him when he is in the middle of something, even if that something is doing chores for me, to go and do a different task. But such is the price to be married to a dominant woman.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Date night without the date

Last night I was in the mood for a sensual night with my hubby. I’ve learned from experience that his passion, for lack of a better word, is hotter when he is preparing me for a date with another man than when it is just the two of us spending a romantic evening alone at home. Not that the latter isn’t special when we do it but when you are married to a submissive man who is sexually wired the way my hubby is, the flame of passion definitely burns hotter in him when there is an element of humiliation or domination. It used to bother me that he had to have that element of domination in order to be intimate but now I am accustomed to it and I’ve accepted it.

There is no man in my life right now other than my hubby but I remind him as often as I can that I am a liberated wife and thus free to see whomever I want when I want. So Thursday I told him I had a date Friday night. He asked me whom I would be seeing but I strung him along and told him he would find out in due course. The truth was I had no date but I knew my little white lie would enhance our time together.

My hubby was under the impression that I would be going out late, around 9:00, so we began around 7:00. I had him put on his chastity device and a pair of my panties. I had him bathe me, dry my hair, brush my hair and put moisturizing lotion all over my body to prepare me for my date. The hair brushing is especially special for me because when we were dating, long before we ever became involved in the Femdom lifestyle, my hubby used to love to brush my long red hair. It was one of the earliest signs of male submission I noticed in him. We were in love and he wanted to pamper me.

Last night I had my hubby pamper me to the umpth degree. When it got close to 9:00, I came clean and told him I had no date. By then he was so aroused that it didn’t matter. He was full of passion so I told him that I was in need of a full body massage. We have a massage table so he prepared the table and gave me a wonderful 90 minute massage. I was nice and relaxed but I wanted to be more relaxed so I ordered him to orally service me right there while I was still on the massage table. It was wonderful.

After I was sexually satisfied, I went to bed. I told my hubby I wanted him to remain in chastity for the weekend, even while he did his chores. As I write this on Saturday afternoon, he is out raking leaves while he has multiple loads of laundry going. It is a beautiful day here and I am off to take the dog for a walk. My hubby has been instructed to prepare a nice dinner for me tonight. Afterwards, who knows? Last night I was in the mood for the sensual. Tonight I think I’m in the mood to discipline.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Who is Gloria Brame and why does it matter?

Forgive me for getting on my soapbox, and I promise not to make this a habit, but two people have sent me the link to Gloria Brame’s article “Who is Elise Sutton and why does it matter?” My initial answer to this was ‘Who is Gloria Brame?’ I wasn’t trying to be a smart aleck. I had no idea who Gloria Brame was. I looked her up and learned that she is the co-author of the popular BDSM book “Different Loving”.

I find it interesting that Gloria Brame took some subtle shots at Elise about her site appealing to male fantasies when the cover of Ms. Brame’s “Different Loving” features thigh-high leather boots and a bullwhip. I guess she wasn’t pandering to male fantasies to increase sales. And she had the audacity to take a jab at Elise for selling books on her site. Imagine that. What is Gloria selling on her site? Looks like books to me.

Capitalism is alive and well in the worlds of BDSM and FemDom. Some might even say that 90% of FemDom these days is a commercial enterprise, be it professional Dommes, paid websites, videos, books, etc. Not that I can talk. I didn’t do phone calls or live sessions for free. Why would I? Seems to me Elise and Gloria are more similar than they are different.

I agree with some of the premise of Gloria Brame’s article. Why does it matter? Only a darn fool would blindly follow an anonymous person that writes articles and blogs on the internet. I never blindly followed anyone, including Elise. I learned a lot from her but we disagree on many issues.

And that brings me to one of my pet peeves and it has to do with the BDSM community. Just because Elise or Kathleen or whomever is not active in the BDSM community, that does not mean we are any less knowledgeable about D/s or FemDom. According to Elise, she was active in the BDSM community back in the late 80’s and early 90’s under a different scene name but she had her reasons for becoming publically anonymous. The internet provided her the perfect opportunity to share all that she had learned without being ‘out there’. You have people in the BDSM community who will trash anyone that writes a blog or has a website unless they are active members in a BDSM group. I say Hogwash.

I’ve only been to one BDSM event in my life and I was a wallflower. They didn’t know I existed. So if they don’t know me because I refuse to join the BDSM community, does that make me any less real? Are my experiences any less genuine? Is my opinion of any less value?

Some might say it comes down to who is the most educated. I confess that while I have multiple degrees none of mine are in Psychology or Sociology (Elise has degrees in both). But does knowledge about D/s boil down to a person’s educational credentials? Really, are we going to go there? Have you ever been to a BDSM event, the kind where Gloria Brame gives lectures? Do I really care what college degrees the person giving the lecture has when the subject is ‘How to take a piss on your partner’. I don’t think you need a Ph. D. to give that lecture.

In my opinion, Elise and Gloria are just two women trying to sell books and share their personal knowledge about an alternative sex life. Some like Elise’s approach, some like Gloria’s approach. More power to them. Maybe I’ll write a book and then Gloria Brame can say “Who is Ms Kathleen and why does it matter?” In the big picture, it doesn’t matter. It’s not worth a hill of beans. So why am I involved in the Femdom lifestyle?  To quote the Rolling Stones, “It’s only Rock ‘n Roll … but I like it”.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Embarrassing my hubby

My weekend did not go quite as planned due to the unexpected snow storm. I was unable to attend the Halloween Fetish party in DC but I did hit a few local bars Saturday night with a girlfriend. My costume? A Dominatrix of course. It’s the one day of the year when a woman can dress as a Dominatrix in a conservative town. And the beauty of it is my going out in public around here dressed in leather makes James very, very uncomfortable because he is afraid people that know us will discover our little secret.

That reminds me of a great story. It was early last decade, 2002, 2003 maybe, and I was really getting into the lifestyle. I was so into it that one day I decided to publically humiliate my husband. I would never openly humiliate him in front of his family or friends but I had this wild idea of playing on his fears of us being outed here in this conservative community.

James was at work and I called him and told him I needed to switch cars with him. He was working at his desk that day so I told him to expect me around 2:00 and I would come to his desk and exchange car keys. I decided to dress head to toe in leather. I wore leather pants, ankle boots, and a leather jacket which I zipped up. I was black leather from neck to spiked heel boots. I even wore leather gloves.

I waltzed into his office and you should have seen his face. He turned soooo red. I think he was afraid that I was going to order him to drop to his knees and grovel before me in front of his co-workers. I didn’t but I swear his hands were shaking as he handed me his keys. I then slowly strolled out of his office, getting lots of admiring stares from the men he works with and some judgmental looks from the older women. I didn’t care. James was extremely embarrassed and I loved it.

When he got home, I asked him if any of his co-workers said anything to him. He said one of the younger women came up to him and remarked on how good his wife looked. Oh, and she also asked him if I drove a motorcycle. I guess she figured if I was wearing all that leather I must be a biker babe. I bet his face turned two shades of red when she asked him about the motorcycle. I’m just sorry I didn’t stay around longer to see it for myself.

And to top it off, I stopped at the local market on my way home to fetch a few items and I ran into his aunt. We talked and she looked at me as if I had two heads. She’s always liked me and thought me to be such a sweet girl and a wonderful spouse for her nephew. However, seeing me in all that leather obviously was perplexing to her but she didn’t say a word to me. When I conveyed this to James, he about had the big one. He was scared that his aunt would call his father or tell members of his immediate family about seeing sweet Kathleen wearing all that wicked leather in public. As far as we know, she didn’t say a thing, or if she did it never got back to us. Anywho I sure did play on my husband’s insecurities that day and I teased him about it for weeks.

Getting back to Saturday night, I went out with my friend in my black leather carrying one of my riding crops while James stayed home, in chastity, worrying about what his wild and crazy wife might do. We went bar hopping and I got lots of nice comments about my costume but nothing happened. I danced with one guy at this one bar but overall I was on my best behavior. It wasn’t nearly as fun as it would have been had I gone to the DC party but I had a good time nonetheless. I hope to talk with Ginger later this week to find out how her night went at the Fetish party.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Invite to a Halloween Party

People are starting to find my blog. In the past week I’ve received e-mails from two former phone clients and I’ve been contacted by a woman who used to attend my ClubFEM group. I’ll refer to her as Ginger because she is tall and slender with red hair and she always reminded me a little bit of Tina Louise who played Ginger on “Gilligan’s Island”. She e-mailed me and we talked briefly on the phone. I remember how uncertain she was when she came to her first ClubFEM social with her husband. But my how she’s grown in the lifestyle.

She’s invited me to a fetish themed Halloween party next Saturday night that some friends of hers are throwing in the DC area. Her invite couldn’t have come at a better time. I was planning to attend a Halloween party with Chase but we went out this past Saturday night and we’ve mutually decided to take a break from each other. My relationship with Chase has been an off again, on again friendship for many years. It was exciting seeing him again but I’m ready to move on to other experiences, hopefully with new people.

I asked Ginger if I could bring James to the party. She’s undecided about whether she is going to bring her husband or not. She’ll let me know this week and I’ll follow her lead. Now I’ll have to decide what costume to wear but the great thing about a fetish themed party is I have plenty of leather. I can probably construct a sexy outfit from what I already own. I have leather boots, a leather corset, leather gloves, leather pants, and a leather trench coat.

I also have masks from the Dominatrix type to the Phantom of the Opera masquerade party type.

If Ginger and I decide to attend without our husbands, James will have to remain at home, and I’m sure I will require that he be locked in chastity. But if we bring our husbands, I could feminize him and make him accompany me as my sissy maid. He would hate that. I’ll be sure to keep you posted.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Yet another D/s session

I had another D/s session with James last night. Lately, I’ve really been in the mood to dominate him and play with him. My sex drive has been on high and it is finding its expression in dominating my husband. Maybe it’s because I haven’t been seeing much of Chase these days. I cooled a little on him and we took a break from seeing each other. However, he’s taking me out tomorrow night so we’ll see how it goes.

Last night I was in the mood to play with my husband. He had a long day at work and he was tired. In fact, after he made dinner and cleaned the dishes, I allowed him to veg on the couch while I showered. He fell asleep and it would have been easy for me to just blow off our session but I was really in the mood. I went through my toy chest and my closet and chose an outfit that consisted of a leather bra, my leather shorts and my leather thigh high boots. I had trouble getting my shorts zipped up in the back so I woke James and had him assist me. I told him to give me five minutes and then meet me in my bedroom.

We began the session as I had him strip naked and kneel in the middle of the room. I teased him a little by rubbing my flogger over his body. I then very gently stepped on the back of his calves with my boots which caused him to lunge forward from the pain of my sharp heels. I scolded him for not being as flexible as he used to be as his hamstrings were very tight. I told him he needed to work out more and do stretching exercises.

Next I ordered him to worship me by licking the leather on my shorts, front and back. His tongue made its way to the crack of my ass and he licked the leather up and down which was very pleasurable for me. I then sat on the edge of the bed and had him lick the front of my shorts. He paid particular attention to my crotch area, which I encouraged.

However, I was disappointed when I noticed that he wasn’t completely hard. He was semi-hard to soft and when I questioned him why licking my leather shorts was not turning him on, he begged forgiveness and promised me he was very excited but perhaps because he had just gotten up from a nap, and was still tired, it was preventing him from getting a full erection. I listened to his lame excuse and then I scolded him about how I’ve noticed as he gets older he seems to have more and more of these semi-hard to soft erections. I also reminded him that is why he is a cuckold and why I like to date younger and more sexually potent men.

James wanted to lick my boots, I could tell, but I decided to deny him this and instead I told him he could hump my boots, like a dog, to see if he could get hard for me. James snapped right to it and it worked. I played with his nipples while he humped his cock against my leather boot and he became fully erect. I humiliated him by telling him how pathetic it was that he could only “get it up” this way.

By this time I was getting aroused and I was in the mood to whip him. I ordered him to get some towels out of the linen closet and place them on the bed. When I told him I was in the mood to whip him, James asked me if I could first give him an over my lap spanking. This is where communication in a session is so important. I wanted to whip him but in his submissive nature, something was triggered, perhaps from his humiliation of having to hump my boots to get an erection, but regardless he wanted to feel the more maternal discipline of an over the lap spanking.

I wanted to further explore this avenue so I went and fetched a hairbrush and my Spencer paddle from my toy chest and ordered my hubby across my lap. I warmed his ass up with my bare hands, administering maybe two dozen slaps on his buttocks. I also groped him and felt him up real good. I have always found my husband’s ass to be cute and very inviting when it comes to spanking. I love to slap, squeeze and fondle his butt.

After I enjoyed myself groping and spanking his ass with my bare hands, it was time for some serious discipline. I started with the hairbrush. I administered probably two or three dozen smacks with the hairbrush against his buttocks. They were turning a pretty shade of red right before my eyes. His cock started out rock hard when I was spanking him with my hands but I could feel it getting soft when I began to smack him hard with the hairbrush.

I then picked up the Spencer and told him to brace himself because I was going to give him ten hard whacks with the paddle. He jumped and jerked his body with each blow from my paddle. He was barely able to stay on my lap and I had to keep a firm hold of him else he would have rolled off my lap and onto the floor. By the time I was finished, he didn’t have tears in his eyes but I could tell he was close.

James went to his knees and kissed my boots and he started to lick them. I stopped him and ordered him to lay across the bed because I was still in the mood to whip him. I took it easy on him by using my soft flogger. I didn’t want to hurt hum but I was in the mood to hit him hard. I wanted to reach back and put my weight into each blow. I wanted to relieve some of my pent up dominant aggression and I knew there was no way he would have been able to handle one of my more severe whips. Therefore I used a soft flogger.

James was sprawled out on my bed and I whipped his back and his ass with the flogger. I really got into it and I was getting very, very wet. The flogger might have been soft but it still carried enough of a punch that James flinched with almost every blow. That only added to my excitement. I bet I gave him over 50 slashes from the flogger.

The flogger made his skin red but it didn’t leave any marks. However, he wasn’t going to get off completely easy. I got my riding crop and gave him ten hard cracks against each butt cheek. He let out a nice scream at about number five and by the time I got to number ten, he was very contrite. Contrite about what, you ask? Anything and everything!

I was primed by now. I took off my shorts and my boots and I took his place on the bed and I commanded him to orally pleasure me with his tongue. Wow, it didn’t take me long. I like to hold back as long as possible but I couldn’t hold back. I climaxed in a matter of seconds. James kept licking me trying to bring me to another orgasm but for some reason after my first orgasm, I became very sensitive down there so I had to push him away.

I was going to allow James an orgasm so I asked him how he wanted it, did he want to masturbate or did he want me to rub my breasts on his cock. Usually when I offer my breasts, he jumps on the chance but this time he actually made the request if he could hump my boots again. “Why not?” I thought.  

I pulled my boots back on and I crossed my right leg over the left one and ordered my hubby to hump it. He started out by getting very hard again and he was really getting into it. He went at it for at least five minutes and then I gave him the command  “do it, James, do it NOW!” but he couldn’t. I even twisted his nipples and gave him the verbal command again. He tried, I could tell he really was, and he was ever so close, but he couldn’t do it. I finally counted to twenty, telling him if he didn’t do it by the time I reached twenty, he would not only be denied an orgasm tonight but he would be denied one for at least another two weeks.

My poor hubby failed. I have no idea why as that’s not like him. Oh well, his loss. We lay down together and cuddled on the bed. I was totally fulfilled on every level, sexually satisfied and fulfilled as a dominant woman. And I was happy to hear him say that although he couldn’t cum, he felt emotionally fulfilled. James told me he felt loved and that’s really all that matters.