Sunday, November 20, 2011

Long spanking session

After doing chores all day long, my hubby took a shower and I caught a glimpse of his marked ass when he came out of the shower. There were two really nice welts on there from his punishment that I administered earlier in the day with my cane. I walked over to him and groped his cute ass and commented on how excited he was making me. I wanted to punish him some more, not because I felt he deserved it but simply because the thought was really turning me on. I could tell James wasn’t in the mood. He was tired and hungry and he was ready to just chill for the rest of the night. I, on the other hand, was getting very turned on. The selfish Kathleen won out over the compassionate Kathleen.

I changed into something simple yet still sexy. I put on a leather bra and a leather thong, no boots, no stockings, nothing elaborate, just a bra and a thong. I got out my leather paddle and I ordered my reluctant hubby across my lap. I caressed his ass and closely examined the marks I had left with the cane. I then proceeded to spank him with the leather paddle and it was a long spanking session, the longest we’ve had in a good while. I started out slow and light but I increased it to hard and fast. I had him squirming and begging for mercy. I know I have him where I want him when he starts to reach back to block the paddle with his hand. That’s a big No No, so I stopped his spanking temporarily, just long enough to go to my chest and get out the pair of thumb cuffs. I cuffed his thumbs with his hands across his chest and I guided him back across my lap. I continued with the hard spanking and he was totally helpless. He endured the marathon spanking session and by the time I was finished, his ass was a bright shade of red.

I caressed his butt cheeks and they were nice and hot. I love to touch a man’s ass after he has been thoroughly spanked. If I had been feeling a little more ambitious, I would have broken out my strap-on. I love to take a man from behind after he’s been thoroughly spanked. I love to feel the heat coming from a reddened bottom against my hands as I take a man with my strap-on. But not this time. Instead, I unlocked the thumb cuffs and I had him worship my body. I pulled my breasts out of my bra and I removed the leather thong. He orally pleasured me and I held out as long as possible, enjoying the pleasurable sensations from his tongue. Finally I had my orgasm.

We spent the rest of the night just chilling. And just so you know that I’m not a complete bitch, and that compassionate Kathleen does exist, I gave my hubby the rest of the weekend off from his chores so he can enjoy some much needed R&R. But his ass is going to be sore and tender for days.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Being married to a dominant woman is not all fun and games

Ever since I‘ve been involved with the Femdom lifestyle, men have told me how they envy my husband. It happened all the time when I did phone calls and I still get the occasional e-mails from admirers who tell me how they would love to trade places with James. But never forget that being married to a dominant woman is not all fun and games.

Today is a perfect example. I got up early and went shopping with a girlfriend. I’ve been looking for a cutlery set for a Christmas gift. I came across one at a store but I was hesitant to buy it without doing some research, but it was on sale so I needed to make a quick decision. I called James because I wanted him to get on Amazon and check the price and the reviews before I made the purchase. I first called him on our landline but he didn’t pick up. Then I called him on his cell. Again he didn’t pick up. I waited an hour and tried him again. Still no answer. I left messages but he didn’t call me back right away. I was getting very mad.

He finally called me back but by this time me and my girlfriend had driven to a different store. James was outside doing items on his hubby-do list but he forgot to take his cell phone with him. I made him go inside and look up the information for me on the computer but I told him that he would be punished when I got home. I don’t like it when I can’t get a hold of him and he knows he is to always have his phone with him.

I will be the first to admit that I can be a real selfish bitch when things don’t go my way. I can be a patient woman but not with James. Years of dominating him has definitely effected our relationship in that I expect him to be at my beckon call. When he disappoints me, I know I have the power in the relationship to punish him. That’s just the way it is.

When I got home, he was outside putting a cover over the air conditioner unit in preparation for the winter. I ordered him to unload my car and carry my bags inside. Then I told him to go into the bedroom. I ordered him to strip naked and lay across the bed. He tried to justify his mistake, making excuses. I ordered him to silence. I told how frustrated I was at the store, unable to get a hold of him, and how mad I got when he didn’t call me back.

I opened my toy chest and got out a cane. This would not be a D&S session with a warm-up flogging. I did not change into a leather outfit. I was totally clothed in jeans and a sweater. I administered a dozen, hard and firm blows with the cane and when I was done he had a few welts on his ass. It was not fun and games. When I was done, I commanded that he resume with his chores.

Am I a prima donna? Yes, I admit I can be temperamental and selfish and not very forgiving when it comes to my husband. However, that’s what he loves about me. He wanted me to be selfish when I began to explore my dominant side. He has had to learn to take the good with the bad. I know he hates to be at my beckon call. He hates it when I interrupt him when he is in the middle of something, even if that something is doing chores for me, to go and do a different task. But such is the price to be married to a dominant woman.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Date night without the date

Last night I was in the mood for a sensual night with my hubby. I’ve learned from experience that his passion, for lack of a better word, is hotter when he is preparing me for a date with another man than when it is just the two of us spending a romantic evening alone at home. Not that the latter isn’t special when we do it but when you are married to a submissive man who is sexually wired the way my hubby is, the flame of passion definitely burns hotter in him when there is an element of humiliation or domination. It used to bother me that he had to have that element of domination in order to be intimate but now I am accustomed to it and I’ve accepted it.

There is no man in my life right now other than my hubby but I remind him as often as I can that I am a liberated wife and thus free to see whomever I want when I want. So Thursday I told him I had a date Friday night. He asked me whom I would be seeing but I strung him along and told him he would find out in due course. The truth was I had no date but I knew my little white lie would enhance our time together.

My hubby was under the impression that I would be going out late, around 9:00, so we began around 7:00. I had him put on his chastity device and a pair of my panties. I had him bathe me, dry my hair, brush my hair and put moisturizing lotion all over my body to prepare me for my date. The hair brushing is especially special for me because when we were dating, long before we ever became involved in the Femdom lifestyle, my hubby used to love to brush my long red hair. It was one of the earliest signs of male submission I noticed in him. We were in love and he wanted to pamper me.

Last night I had my hubby pamper me to the umpth degree. When it got close to 9:00, I came clean and told him I had no date. By then he was so aroused that it didn’t matter. He was full of passion so I told him that I was in need of a full body massage. We have a massage table so he prepared the table and gave me a wonderful 90 minute massage. I was nice and relaxed but I wanted to be more relaxed so I ordered him to orally service me right there while I was still on the massage table. It was wonderful.

After I was sexually satisfied, I went to bed. I told my hubby I wanted him to remain in chastity for the weekend, even while he did his chores. As I write this on Saturday afternoon, he is out raking leaves while he has multiple loads of laundry going. It is a beautiful day here and I am off to take the dog for a walk. My hubby has been instructed to prepare a nice dinner for me tonight. Afterwards, who knows? Last night I was in the mood for the sensual. Tonight I think I’m in the mood to discipline.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Who is Gloria Brame and why does it matter?

Forgive me for getting on my soapbox, and I promise not to make this a habit, but two people have sent me the link to Gloria Brame’s article “Who is Elise Sutton and why does it matter?” My initial answer to this was ‘Who is Gloria Brame?’ I wasn’t trying to be a smart aleck. I had no idea who Gloria Brame was. I looked her up and learned that she is the co-author of the popular BDSM book “Different Loving”.

I find it interesting that Gloria Brame took some subtle shots at Elise about her site appealing to male fantasies when the cover of Ms. Brame’s “Different Loving” features thigh-high leather boots and a bullwhip. I guess she wasn’t pandering to male fantasies to increase sales. And she had the audacity to take a jab at Elise for selling books on her site. Imagine that. What is Gloria selling on her site? Looks like books to me.

Capitalism is alive and well in the worlds of BDSM and FemDom. Some might even say that 90% of FemDom these days is a commercial enterprise, be it professional Dommes, paid websites, videos, books, etc. Not that I can talk. I didn’t do phone calls or live sessions for free. Why would I? Seems to me Elise and Gloria are more similar than they are different.

I agree with some of the premise of Gloria Brame’s article. Why does it matter? Only a darn fool would blindly follow an anonymous person that writes articles and blogs on the internet. I never blindly followed anyone, including Elise. I learned a lot from her but we disagree on many issues.

And that brings me to one of my pet peeves and it has to do with the BDSM community. Just because Elise or Kathleen or whomever is not active in the BDSM community, that does not mean we are any less knowledgeable about D/s or FemDom. According to Elise, she was active in the BDSM community back in the late 80’s and early 90’s under a different scene name but she had her reasons for becoming publically anonymous. The internet provided her the perfect opportunity to share all that she had learned without being ‘out there’. You have people in the BDSM community who will trash anyone that writes a blog or has a website unless they are active members in a BDSM group. I say Hogwash.

I’ve only been to one BDSM event in my life and I was a wallflower. They didn’t know I existed. So if they don’t know me because I refuse to join the BDSM community, does that make me any less real? Are my experiences any less genuine? Is my opinion of any less value?

Some might say it comes down to who is the most educated. I confess that while I have multiple degrees none of mine are in Psychology or Sociology (Elise has degrees in both). But does knowledge about D/s boil down to a person’s educational credentials? Really, are we going to go there? Have you ever been to a BDSM event, the kind where Gloria Brame gives lectures? Do I really care what college degrees the person giving the lecture has when the subject is ‘How to take a piss on your partner’. I don’t think you need a Ph. D. to give that lecture.

In my opinion, Elise and Gloria are just two women trying to sell books and share their personal knowledge about an alternative sex life. Some like Elise’s approach, some like Gloria’s approach. More power to them. Maybe I’ll write a book and then Gloria Brame can say “Who is Ms Kathleen and why does it matter?” In the big picture, it doesn’t matter. It’s not worth a hill of beans. So why am I involved in the Femdom lifestyle?  To quote the Rolling Stones, “It’s only Rock ‘n Roll … but I like it”.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Embarrassing my hubby

My weekend did not go quite as planned due to the unexpected snow storm. I was unable to attend the Halloween Fetish party in DC but I did hit a few local bars Saturday night with a girlfriend. My costume? A Dominatrix of course. It’s the one day of the year when a woman can dress as a Dominatrix in a conservative town. And the beauty of it is my going out in public around here dressed in leather makes James very, very uncomfortable because he is afraid people that know us will discover our little secret.

That reminds me of a great story. It was early last decade, 2002, 2003 maybe, and I was really getting into the lifestyle. I was so into it that one day I decided to publically humiliate my husband. I would never openly humiliate him in front of his family or friends but I had this wild idea of playing on his fears of us being outed here in this conservative community.

James was at work and I called him and told him I needed to switch cars with him. He was working at his desk that day so I told him to expect me around 2:00 and I would come to his desk and exchange car keys. I decided to dress head to toe in leather. I wore leather pants, ankle boots, and a leather jacket which I zipped up. I was black leather from neck to spiked heel boots. I even wore leather gloves.

I waltzed into his office and you should have seen his face. He turned soooo red. I think he was afraid that I was going to order him to drop to his knees and grovel before me in front of his co-workers. I didn’t but I swear his hands were shaking as he handed me his keys. I then slowly strolled out of his office, getting lots of admiring stares from the men he works with and some judgmental looks from the older women. I didn’t care. James was extremely embarrassed and I loved it.

When he got home, I asked him if any of his co-workers said anything to him. He said one of the younger women came up to him and remarked on how good his wife looked. Oh, and she also asked him if I drove a motorcycle. I guess she figured if I was wearing all that leather I must be a biker babe. I bet his face turned two shades of red when she asked him about the motorcycle. I’m just sorry I didn’t stay around longer to see it for myself.

And to top it off, I stopped at the local market on my way home to fetch a few items and I ran into his aunt. We talked and she looked at me as if I had two heads. She’s always liked me and thought me to be such a sweet girl and a wonderful spouse for her nephew. However, seeing me in all that leather obviously was perplexing to her but she didn’t say a word to me. When I conveyed this to James, he about had the big one. He was scared that his aunt would call his father or tell members of his immediate family about seeing sweet Kathleen wearing all that wicked leather in public. As far as we know, she didn’t say a thing, or if she did it never got back to us. Anywho I sure did play on my husband’s insecurities that day and I teased him about it for weeks.

Getting back to Saturday night, I went out with my friend in my black leather carrying one of my riding crops while James stayed home, in chastity, worrying about what his wild and crazy wife might do. We went bar hopping and I got lots of nice comments about my costume but nothing happened. I danced with one guy at this one bar but overall I was on my best behavior. It wasn’t nearly as fun as it would have been had I gone to the DC party but I had a good time nonetheless. I hope to talk with Ginger later this week to find out how her night went at the Fetish party.