Wednesday, January 30, 2013

High Libido

Not sure what’s gotten into me here lately but ever since I “played” with hubby last Friday, my libido has been extra high the past several days. Thomas is really missing out because if he lived closer and wasn’t away on business this week, he would probably be benefitting, but what is one man’s loss is another man’s gain. And James has been the benefactor of my high libido.

I dominated him Friday and Sunday and then last night I went out to meet my girlfriend for dinner and a few drinks. I wore my new boots (along with something naughty under my jeans ... what can I say, I was in the mood) and when I got home, James had that submissive look about him. He is dying to worship my new boots so I told him to get naked and lie on the floor. I did a little light trampling with my boots, digging the heels into his nipples and lightly pressing the soles against his chastity cage. I mostly just teased him but then I gave him the big surprise.
I had him remove my boots and put them away. Then I undid my jeans and slowly lowered them down so he could see what I was wearing underneath … my leather thong. I asked James if he wanted to lick the leather (as if I had to ask) so we retired to the bedroom where I had him lie face up on the bed, with his head toward the bottom. I took off my jeans and straddled his face and James began to enthusiastically lick my thong. I sat full weight on his face as he kept licking. It felt wonderful. I took my hand and slapped his balls, which were nice and swollen from his arousal.
I removed my shirt and pulled my breasts out my bra and brought his hands up so he could fondle them. Then I pulled the thong to the side so hubby could lick my pussy. I rode his face until I climaxed.
All in all, we were only in the bedroom for about 30 minutes but it was what I needed. I am getting aroused again just thinking about it. Another face-sitting session might be in store for hubby tonight.

Monday, January 28, 2013

Hubby begs me to whip him

Saturday night James and I went to dinner and a movie. Then yesterday I was relaxing on the couch, answering e-mails on my lap-top as James was attending to his weekend chores. Our enema session Friday night must have left a lasting impression on him because he was very obedient all weekend doing his chores with enthusiasm the way I like, and he couldn’t have been any sweeter when we went out to dinner.

I was hardly dressed sexy as I was relaxing on the couch, wearing sweats, yet hubby came over, knelt before me and told me how beautiful I looked. I touched his face and thanked him for those lovely words. I could see the love in his eyes but I could also tell that he wanted something. I asked him if he wanted to be dominated and he nodded his head in the affirmative. “How do you want me to dominate you, James?” I inquired.
He looked away as if he was embarrassed that I could read his mind so easily. Then he looked back into my eyes and confessed that he wanted me to whip him.
“Why do you want to be whipped, have you been bad?” I teased.
“No, Mistress. I don’t know why.”
I knew why. He needed to be whipped because it’s good for him. Work has been stressful, I‘ve been very demanding, and he’s had a lot on his plate.
“There’s nothing to be ashamed of. You can admit it. You want to be whipped because you need to be whipped. Now beg me and maybe I’ll do it.”
It’s been awhile since my hubby has come to me like this and actually begged to be whipped. I really believe that he needs this release from time to time, and the whip can do wonders for a submissive man. Some people need massages (I’m one of those), some relieve stress on the golf course or at the gym, and some relieve stress at happy hour on Friday night. James relieves stress by being whipped. It is a release for him. That’s just who he is and how he is designed.
I told him to continue with his chores and I would call for him when I was ready. After I finished with my e-mail, I went into the bedroom and I put on something sexy, I chose a leather teddy. It was one of the first fetish items James ever bought for me. I opened up my toy chest and was going through my things and there it was. My breasts hang free in the teddy and I knew he would like that. I put on a pair of crotch-less fishnet hose, the teddy and my calf high leather boots. I haven’t worn this combo for I don’t know when, but I must say I got aroused as I admired myself in the mirror.
I summoned James and ordered him to get naked. I had him worship my boots but this time I ordered him to get all the way down on the floor and crawl to me. I commanded him to grovel at my boots. I watched him licking my boots through the reflection in the mirror. I stepped on his hand (on purpose) which caused him to grimace in pain, but he kept on licking the boot. I extended the other one and he slowly worked his way up, past the boots, licking the backs of my legs until he made his way to planting sweet kisses on my fishnet covered ass. It gave me goose bumps and definitely got me in the mood to dish out a whipping.
I had him lie face down on the bed and I asked him if he wanted me to tie him down. He did. I got out the nylon ropes from my toy chest and tied his hands and feet to the bed posts. His wrist and ankle cuffs are down in the confinement room so I tied his hands and feet directly to the posts.
Normally I would warm him up with my soft floggers but since he came to me and begged for a whipping, I knew a warm-up was not necessary. I started out with the long handle riding crop and he immediately went into subspace with the first half dozen or so smacks from the crop. Once he goes there, I know I can whip him hard and he’ll endure it. I must have dished out 50 to 60 moderate shots from the crop, across his back and his buttocks. He squirmed and flinched a little when I got him with a few really good shots, but mostly he drifted off into his little stress-free world.
After the crop I whipped him with the cat o’nine. I dished out another 4 or 5 dozen blows. His ass was beet red with some nice welts. I like the teddy because it makes it easy to rub my breasts against his skin and I always enjoy rubbing my breasts across a well beaten ass. The heat against my nipples never fail to excite me.
I climbed on top of him and whispered in his ears, “Tell me, James, what do you want me to whip you with next? You must have had a certain whip in mind when you begged me to whip you?”
It wasn’t a whip, it was a paddle. James wanted me to spank him hard with my long handle leather paddle. I happily obliged.
I sat on his back and began to smack his ass with the paddle. I told him I was going to go hard and fast and I would not stop until he asked me to stop. The reason I did this is because I wanted him to release all of his stress and surrender all of himself to me. I began to paddle him and I was smacking him very hard, rotating cheeks, back and forth, left and right. I kept paddling him and he just took it, hardly flinching at all. He was totally lost in his world of submission. Finally he yelled for me to stop. I’m glad that he did because his ass was starting to turn purple in spots.
I of course rubbed my breasts over his now scorching hot bottom. I was very turned on and I wanted to be pleasured. But I wanted one more thing from him. I asked him if he could handle ten shots from the cane. He hates the cane, which is why I wanted to close out his discipline with it. He agreed to submit to the cane.
I actually have two wooden canes, a moderate one and a more severe one. I don’t normally get him in such a state of subspace where I think he can handle the severe cane. But I figured he was primed so I decided to give it a go.
The first 5 blows were light, yet he still flinched and arched his back with each shot. Then I went hard and fast with the final 5. He screamed, which was the first time he had done that during the entire discipline session. He rolled from side to side as I could tell he was hurting. I soothed his buttocks with my hands then I untied him and had him roll over.
I climbed on top of him, undid the snap on the teddy and I straddled his face. I pushed my pussy tight against his mouth and grinded hard against his face. I was very selfish, focusing totally on my pleasure as he licked me while struggling for air at the same time. I brought his hands up to play with my breasts and that’s all it took for me to explode. I kept riding his face until I couldn’t take it any longer. Wow, it was intense. It was one of those draining orgasms. My knees were literally wobbling when I tried to stand up.
James looked very tranquil and I could tell all was good with his world. I lied down next to him on the bed and allowed him to cuddle next to me. It was the perfect cap to a fantastic weekend, a weekend I spent entirely with my hubby.
This morning I saw his ass as he was getting out of the shower. Wow, did I ever do a number on it. But I knew when he sat down at his desk, the bruises would remind him of me and that will help get him through another week.

Saturday, January 26, 2013

The reemergence of the dreaded black pumpkin enema bag

James needs to be dominated and if we don’t “play” semi-regularly, his obedience and submission slips a little. He still willingly submits even if we don’t play as much as he’d like but I can notice a difference. The two things that keep him very attentive to my needs and very obedient to my demands are orgasm denial and D&S play. The D&S play can be “quickies” that take little effort on my part, such as how I disciplined him last Sunday, but in order to maintain that all important intimacy with hubby we need to have semi-regular D&S sessions.

The problem is the older I get, the more I need to motivate myself to have a D&S session with hubby. It’s kind of like going to the gym. A lot of times I don’t feel like going and it doesn’t take much to talk me out of it, but once I get there, I’m glad I went.
I love dominating James but when you’ve worked all week and have other issues going on, it takes some motivation to psyche myself up to dress in leather and go through my toy chest to decide how I’m going to discipline/dominate him. As the Dom, I have to create the sessions and that takes thought, time and effort. One of the reasons I have this blog is to get ideas from others, and I am thankful for all the wonderful ideas people have shared with me.
It’s been bitter cold here all week so this is the perfect weekend to “play”. I was going to have a session with James tonight (Saturday) but last night I was on the internet reading some of my favorite femdom blogs and sites and I came across a video clip of two women engaging in enema play. Although it was a woman dominating a woman, I loved the way she went about it. She administered a large enema in a very sensual way and then she made the woman worship her body while she held in the enema. I’ve done this with James in the past but the way this woman went about it, the way she kept pressing on her subs’ stomach with her feet to make her even more uncomfortable as the submissive woman was worshipping her Mistress’ legs really turned me on.
That video motivated me to give James an enema and I didn’t want to wait. I’ve learned that you have to seize the moment when it arises else it might pass. I bought some new enema equipment last October but it is down in the confinement room and with the cold weather, I didn’t feel like going down into the basement to fetch it. And I didn’t want to send James because I wanted to surprise him.
In my toy chest I have a 4 quart black pumpkin enema bag and a butt-plug shaped aluminum enema nozzle.

bought this 7, maybe 8 years ago and we had some fun sessions with it. Hubby came to fear the dreaded black pumpkin bag, especially as I worked him up to hold 3 quarts.

I cranked up the heat in my bedroom and I dressed in leather bra, panties and knee high leather boots. I filled the enema bag with warm water and hung it from the ceiling fan above my bed. I called James into the bedroom and showed him his fate for the rest of the night.

I covered my bed with an old blanked and had him strip and lie face down on my bed. I propped his ass up with pillows (covered with an old towel) and I lubricated his anus. I then slid the aluminum nozzle into his anus and released the water from the bag. I made him take over half the bag, somewhere between 2 and 3 quarts.

I could tell James was becoming very uncomfortable. I closed off the water flow, removed the tubing and put in place the cap which keeps the water trapped inside the patient.
Usually when we do enema play like this, I will have James roll over on his back and I will engage in tease and denial as well as some age play. He likes that but last night I had a different plan. I put a waist harness around him, running the leather strap through the crack of his ass to make sure the enema plug could in no way escape.
Then I ordered my hubby to get down on his knees and worship my body from boot to breasts. I informed him he would not get release from the enema until after he brought me to two orgasms. James began with his normal level of enthusiasm as he licked my boots but it didn’t take long for his predicament to kick in. I didn’t help matters as I kept taking the other boot and pressed it against his abdomen, causing him much discomfort. I mimicked the woman in the video with how I teased him and tormented him as he worshipped my body with licks and kisses of adoration.
I’m not exactly sure how long I made him worship me but I’m sure to him it felt like an eternity. Finally I gave him permission to eat my pussy. I was very aroused so the first orgasm came rather quickly. But he had to work hard to give me the second one. I held back as long as I could on purpose. The poor baby was really struggling. He has a safe word so he could have used it but he pleased me by suffering for my pleasure. I eventually came and it was more intense than my first orgasm. I grabbed his head and held him there until I couldn’t take it any longer. It was pure bliss.
I gave hubby permission to go have his privacy but I didn’t want him using my bathroom. The poor dear had to walk to the other bathroom in the house. I also made him take the enema equipment with him to clean it up and put it away when he was done. I also reminded him to drink plenty of water after he was done so he wouldn’t get dehydrated.
I relaxed on the bed and fell asleep while hubby suffered some more in the other bathroom. He told me this morning he had cramps all night but they have finally subsided. I asked him on a scale of 1 to 10, how uncomfortable was he by the time I had my second orgasm? He said 8 or 9 and that he came very close to using his safe word at several times during his ordeal. I gained possession of more of his coins last night as hubby is learning how to suffer for my pleasure. I’m very proud of him.

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Movie Review: Belle De Jour

Directed by: Luis Buñuel 

Starring: Catherine Deneuve
Jean Sorel
Michel Piccoli
Geneviève Page
Pierre Clémenti  

Released: 1967

Running time: 101 minutes

“Belle de Jour” has been hailed as an erotic classic by many film critics the world over. This 1967 French foreign film (viewed with English subtitles) tells the story of a beautiful young woman named Severine, who is married to a handsome doctor. She loves her husband dearly but she denies him sex because she cannot bring herself to be physically intimate with him. Instead, she indulges in kinky and erotic fantasies within her mind and her dreams in order to fulfill her sexual desires. To Severine, vanilla sex with her husband just doesn’t do it for her.  

Yet, it is Severine’s purity and sophistication that men, such as her husband, find to be attractive. She gives off the external persona of a woman who is wholesome, traditional and prudish. However, she possesses a sexuality that longs for untraditional and kinky sexual experiences, in particular sex that involves fetishes and D&S where she is submissive.
The name Severine is the female version of the male name Severin, the male masochist in the book “Venus in Furs”. Like Severin in “Venus in Furs”, Severine is a masochist, although only within her fantasies. “Belle de Jour” opens with a fantasy sequence where Severine is riding in a horse drawn carriage with her husband and they stop in the middle of nowhere and her husband has the two coachmen drag Severine forcefully out of the carriage and they tie her to a tree and whip her with the buggy whips.

Then the one coachman has his way with her sexually while her husband watches. Severine wakes up from her fantasy dream and returns to her normal, vanilla life of being a housewife to a doctor.
In real life, Severine and her husband, Pierre, sleep in separate beds because she cannot bring herself to be intimate with him. He is understanding and believes she is just a “good girl” who needs time to become comfortable with him before she can engage in sex. Being the wife of a doctor, Severine lives the good life. They are members of the county club, they live in a nice home and she wears expensive clothing.
Severine is obviously bored and when she hears the gossip that one of the women at the country club lives a double life by working at a “whorehouse”, she becomes obsessed with the thrill of what it must be like to live such a double life.  
Severine asks questions and in her search for information, Severine learns of exclusive Paris brothels where housewives sometimes work in the afternoons, making extra money while their husbands are at the office. Henri, a friend of Pierre, is a sex-crazed male who desires Severine and who frequents Paris brothels. When he hears Severine asking questions about whorehouses, he gives her the address of an exclusive brothel ran by a business woman by the name of Madame Anais. Severine is now overcome with the temptation to visit Madame Anais’ brothel.

Watching Severine’s obsession and temptation with secret double lives and the sexual world of brothels reminded me of some of the men I have talked with about their journey into the world of female domination, and to a lesser extent my own personal journey. When a submissive male first learns about the Dominatrix, he becomes curious and fascinated, perhaps to the place that it consumes his thoughts and dominates his fantasies. He wonders what it would be like to visit such a place, to actually session with a Dominatrix.  
One of my phone clients told me how he would frequent Adult bookstores hoping to find the latest issue of “DDI” (Dominant Directory International), then he would obsess over the ads of the leather clad Mistresses with whips for weeks, finally gaining the nerve to contact a professional Dominatrix. He eventually made an appointment, gained the address, and drove past her place multiple times prior to the day of his actual appointment, struggling with the internal battle over whether or not to follow-through with the appointment, only to find that the desire to be dominated was too strong to resist.  
Any male who has had that kind of experience can relate to Severine as she locates the address of Madame Anais’ brothel. She walks up to the front door, only to walk away. Then the next time she goes into the building and locates the apartment number, only to again lose her nerve. Then finally, she gains the nerve to ring the buzzer and introduces herself to Madame Anais. Once she takes that step, she finds herself living the double life she has been fantasizing about.  
Madame Anais gives her the pseudo name, Belle de Jour, meaning 'Beauty of the Day', since Severine can only work between the hours of 2pm and 5pm because she must be home before her husband returns. Severine works with two other women, Charlotte and Renee.
Most of Severine’s fantasies revolve around her being submissive. She likes it when a client handles her a little rough. The brothel allows some of her fantasies to become reality. Nevertheless, she also discovers that fantasies are at times best when they only exist in the arena of the mind. For example, she has the fantasy of wanting to be bound and whipped. However, when a young, male client, Marcel (who is a gangster) becomes too attached to Belle de Jour, he gets angry when she is away for a couple of weeks while on vacation with her husband. When she returns to the brothel, Marcel comes by and he attempts to beat her with his belt. After only one strike, Severine stands up to him and forbids him to ever hit her again. Marcel backs down. Severine realizes that she in fact does not want to be whipped by a man. She loves the fantasy but not the reality.  
Severine is indeed a strong woman, even though she has masochistic fantasies. She totally controls her husband, denying him sex while she has sexual flings in the afternoon at the brothel. Her husband is handsome, successful and intelligent but he is weak when compared to Severine.
The tragic and near fatal ending for Pierre is the result of Severine’s secret life. Marcel shoots him in a jealous rage and Pierre is confined to a wheelchair, relying on Severine to take care of him. That is the moral warning of the film, that one's actions can negatively affect not only your life, but also the life of those you love the most. That is an important message and not exclusive to the women who work at brothels. The man who frequents a brothel is also putting his wife at risk if he were to contract a disease.  
The one FemDom scene in the movie involves a male client, a professor, who wants to role-play that he is the servant to a dominant woman. Severine fails to understand what he wants so Madame Anais has her watch through a peep hole as Charlotte fulfills the professor’s fantasy by humiliating him about not keeping a clean enough house, trampling him with her shoes and whipping him. Charlotte makes the comment to Severine that she wishes all clients were like the professor, implying that she enjoys being in the dominant role.

It has been said that Director Luis Bunuel had a fetish for women’s shoes and feet, often showing close-ups of women in high heel shoes. Perhaps the scene where Charlotte is dominating the professor was Bunuel’s way of expressing his own fetish within “Belle de Jour”.  
As a dominant woman, I could not relate to Severine’s submissive fantasies, but I could relate to her desire to live a double life. Having been the Head Mistress of a ClubFEM group and being active in the FemDom lifestyle within my own marriage, I kind of live a double life. I am fortunate that my husband is a part of my double life but my family and friends have no idea about my female domination lifestyle and I still have fantasies that I have not even shared with my husband. He may one day be the object of some of those fantasies, but then again, maybe not. Just like Severine, many of my fantasies do not involve my husband.  
I have never worked at a brothel, nor would I, but I have experienced the thrill of being a professional Dominatrix on a few occasions. It is exciting to live a secret life, a life the people who know you the best would never guess in a million years. The key to a secret life is that you don't venture too far into the deep that you cannot safely return to the secure ground of your regular life.  
“Belle de Jour” is not about female domination per se, but it is about fetishes, secret desires, and the sexual fantasies of wives.
Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Power of Femdom

I don’t remember which book I read it in, it might have been one of Elise Sutton’s books or in one of Mistress Lorelei’s books, but the author talked about the power of Femdom and its ability to defuse arguments and promote harmony within a marriage. Back when I was new to this lifestyle, I allowed myself to be manipulated by my hubby. It took years for me to comprehend the power I had over him.

He used to encourage me to try different things but then he would be the first one to apply the brakes if I didn’t do things exactly as he wanted. My hubby was all for playing with other couples and me dating other men as long as it fit within the framework of his fantasy. But if I was enjoying my dominance in a way outside of what he wanted, he would try to apply the brakes to the situation. In doing so he was trying to hold on to some control over the circumstances. I eventually learned (and am still learning) how to defuse potential arguments and avoid stumbling blocks by using my dominance and female power.
Today was a perfect example. Last night I had a date with Thomas. Plans were set and James was well informed ahead of time that he would be alone Saturday night. I will not go into the details other than to say that my plans changed. James is not real good with sudden change. I don’t fault him as it is in his DNA to be that way. His father is that way. James does best with structure in his life. I, on the other hand, love to be spontaneous. James orders the same item on the menu at every restaurant we eat at. I never order the same item twice. That’s just us.
Anywho, last night I ended up being out much later with Thomas (as in all night) than originally planned. We took a drive in the mountains, ate at a ski-lodge and in a total spontaneous moment, we got a room there and spent the night. I of course called James and told him of the change in plans and told him he should go to bed.
Thomas dropped me off back home late this morning and I immediately sensed a slight attitude coming from my hubby. I guess that’s what I get for giving him an orgasm Friday night. James submits to sudden changes much easier when he’s been denied for weeks at a time.
I was in no disposition for his ‘tude’ so I dealt with it quickly. I was tired and in no mood to administer a spanking or any kind of physical discipline. Suddenly a stroke of brilliance flashed across my mind when I saw the X-mats stacked up in the chair. I was going to put them down on the couch and order James to lie on them, but then I caught a glimpse of our coffee-table. I laid two of the spiked mats down on the coffee-table and ordered James to undress, sit on the front edge of the table and lie back. His cock swelled inside his chastity cage and his balls firmed up as soon as he saw what I had in mind. He squirmed as he eased himself down on the mats, his buttocks and back being penetrated by the plastic spikes, his shoulders ending at the conclusion of the table, his neck and head hanging over the edge.
I went and got a roll of Saran-Wrap and I bound him to the coffee-table as I wrapped him with 3 or 4 layers, taking the roll across his body and running it under the coffee-table, and back across his body again. James was totally bound and at my mercy.
I left him bound against the plastic spikes for about 15 minutes. By the time I returned to him, he was quite contrite for his negative attitude. I towered over him and took my foot and pressed it on his waist, his stomach and then his chest, pushing him deeper into the spikes. As I did this I lectured him about his attitude. By the time I was done, I had him telling me how happy he was I had such a good time with Thomas last night and how I deserve spontaneous and romantic moments in my life.
I slipped out of my pants, removed my panties, and I cupped the back of his head in my hands as I straddled and forced his face to my pussy. I held him there and ordered him to lick me, all the while he was still bound against the spikes of the x-mats. I wasn’t particularly excited but it still felt good as he licked me and I wanted him to taste me, as nothing makes a man more loving toward a woman than the taste of pussy. Finally I let loose of his head and I fetched a pair of scissors and cut him free of the Saran-Wrap. I allowed him to go to the mirror to admire all the red marks made by the spikes across his backside.

Hubby’s been a good boy ever since. Now, wasn’t that much better than fighting all day?


Saturday, January 19, 2013

Boot Domination

Not much to report lately as far as the lifestyle goes. However, last night a spare of the moment D&S session occurred between me and my hubby.

I had the day off so I went shopping with a girlfriend. It was chilly so I wore a sweater, jeans and my new boots. James bought me a new pair of brown leather pants for Christmas and last week we were out and I saw this pair of calf high brown leather boots that I just had to have. Yesterday was my first chance to wear them.

We were gone most the day. We ate at an Olive Garden so I called James and told him not to worry about dinner. I made it home around 7:30 and when James saw me wearing my boots, he immediately took a submissive posture. I could sense the energy coming from him. It had been two weeks since I had dominated him, other than the night I made him wear the Kali’s Teeth when he gave me a massage. It was obvious he was in the mood.
I sat down on the couch and I ordered James to undress and lie down on the floor next to the couch. He’s been dying to worship my new boots but I don’t want his saliva (or worse, his cum) to soil them. However, I decided to give him a little treat by doing some boot domination and trampling.
I placed the heels of my boots on his nipples, slightly grinding them into his flesh, as I allowed him a nice and close-up look at the lovely brown leather boots. I verbally teased him how he could “look but not touch”. This was driving him wild.
I then moved the heels down to his CB6000 and playfully rubbed them against the cage and his exposed and swollen balls. I dug the one heel into his thigh, causing him to gasp while I pressed the toe of the other boot firmly against his balls, firmly pressing down on them. The intensity caused James’s eyes to water. I moved my boots around, probing his body, being very careful to avoid the top of the cage where he was dripping a little pre-cum. Be that as it may, a small amount of pre-cum attached itself to the bottom of my left boot (thankfully none got on the leather), therefore I placed it against his face and ordered him to lick it clean. Keep in mind that I had been walking around malls and shopping centers all day so who knows what nasty tastes and smells were on the bottom on my boots?

James didn’t care. He licked the sole of my boot as if he were eating pussy. Kind of pathetic, don’t you think? Although it is also rather erotic. I’ve always enjoyed watching a man licking my boots, especially my hubby. I was tempted to grant him permission to lick the leather (which is what he wanted in the worst way) but I knew I would regret it if he soiled them. My better judgment prevailed and I pulled the heel of my boot away from his face. It was like taking a lollipop from a child.
I ordered James to fetch me a glass of ice water and on his return I ordered him to lie face down on the carpet. I began to dig the heels into the cheeks of his buttocks, than I had him get on all fours as I rested my boots on his backside while I drank my glass of water and watched a little television. 
I watched entire episodes of “The Office” and “Modern Family” which I had on the DVR while James was my human ottoman. I occasionally dug the heels into his flesh, just as a loving reminder that I was thinking about him.
I was now in the mood to get out of my jeans. I only kept them on because I didn’t want to take off my boots. I decided to treat James so keeping with the boot domination, I went into the bedroom and opened up my toy-chest, where I also keep my leather boots that I wear for D&S play. I called James into the room and asked him if he wanted calf high, knee high or thigh high? As if I even had to ask, he chose thigh high.
I had James carefully remove my new boots and put them away. He handled them as if they were made of gold. I slipped out of my jeans and sweater, now only wearing bra and panties. I ordered James to put the black leather thigh highs on me. He’s gotten rather good at this over the years, in fact I think he could work in a woman’s shoe store.
Once they were on, I allowed James to worship them. I sat on the edge of the bed and crossed my legs (he loves it when I do that) and my hubby made love to my boots with his mouth and tongue, licking and kissing the leather that hugged my legs, sucking on the spiked heels and pointed toes. He did this for a good 20 minutes or so.

Seeing these were old boots, I decided to give him a very, very special reward for being such a good husband. I gave him permission to remove his chastity device and I allowed him to hump the boots, with his hands behind his back. I told him to hold off climaxing until I gave him the order. Then on my command (Do it, James, DO IT NOW!), he soiled the boots. I pointed at the mess he had made and ordered him to lick them clean. He always recoils with a little disgust when I make him lick his own cum off my boots. As he was doing this, I reminded him what a pathetic display of male humiliation I was witnessing. That little comment caused his cock to grow hard again.
I was definitely aroused at the spectacle but I have a date with Thomas tonight so I didn’t want James to orally service me. I am saving myself for Tommy boy. Instead, once he had licked my boots clean of his mess, I had James remove the boots, clean them with the leather polish and put them back in my chest. Then he was told to put his CB6000 back on.
I dressed in my PJ’s and retired to the living room to watch a little more television. The perfect cap to a delightful day.

Saturday, January 12, 2013

The cuckold scale

In her article “Commentary on the Cuckold Husband”, Diane Marie had the following insightful observations;

Perhaps it's best to start out with a definition of the word cuckold. As defined in the dictionary ‘A man married to an unfaithful wife.’ Simple enough, the guy's wife cheats. Many men fit this category, as it may surprise you how many wives actually have cheated at least once. But cuckold has come to mean something more. It has come to mean men who want their wives to be unfaithful. That does bring up the question of what is unfaithful, namely is a woman who has sexual relations with other men with the total approval of her husband being unfaithful? I'm sure this could be debated but I think not. Being unfaithful, would to most people, be cheating, having approval is not cheating.
I think we need to redefine cuckold to mean any husband who wants his wife to have sexual relationships with other men. I further propose that we refine the definition to mean a husband who desires, lusts and is at least somewhat obsessed with the idea.
I propose we define cuckold to mean a husband who desires his wife to humiliate him by having sexual relationships with other men. Of course there should also be a degree system involved in the definition. Cuckold 1, cuckold 2, cuckold 3, so on and so forth. This system would be set up by how submissive or willing to be humiliated the husband is to his wife in order to fulfill his lustful desires. Cuckold 10 being a husband willing to put up with any humiliation in order to watch his wife enjoy her lovers.
I kind like my system, don't you? Cuckold 1 would be the man who's willing to allow his wife the pleasure of a male-female-male threesome but he's doing it for both of them. She'd like the experience and he'd like the thrill of watching. Nothing wrong with that, they both get something out of it.
Cuckold 10 would be the other extreme. The husband is completely obsessed with the idea of his wife being with other men. She finally consents, at first to please him but finding she loves being with other men, she now continues for her own pleasure. It's not long before she realizes her husband will do just about anything to watch or even hear about her experiences. Just think of the advantages her life now takes on. He'll clean the house, watch the kids, do the laundry, shop for the groceries, tend the garden when she doesn't feel like it, and so much more. I'm sure he'd even procure lovers for her, if she so desired. I could list pages and pages of things I could think for him to do. If she's a bit on the kinky side, liking the sub/dom thing, wow, my mind is overwhelmed by the possibilities. Even if she fell out of love with him, he's a keeper, what a life of leisure she could have. Need some extra money for a vacation with your current lover, send him out to work at night, but only after he's found someone to keep her warm and comfy while he's working. Oh my god, why did I not think of this when I had the opportunity to make it a reality?”

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Possessing all of his coins

I’ve been enjoying exploring hubby’s masochism this past year, what with the confinement room, kali’s teeth, the spiked mats, strappado, more chastity and denial and more humiliation. I love it when hubby is willing to endure discomfort in order for me to endure pleasure. After all, that’s really the goal with all of this, be it cuckolding, spankings, discipline or S&M. Hubby gains satisfaction and fulfillment as a submissive man by sacrificing his sexual pleasure so I can have more sexual pleasure. And in that way, we both gain more emotional and mental pleasure in the process.

One of my mentors once explained it to me this way. She said to picture sexual pleasure as a bag of gold coins. In the vanilla sex world, you exchange gold coins with each other and both sexual partners pretty much end up with the same amount after the exchange. Sometimes it might be more pleasurable for one partner than the other, but even if one partner ends up with more coins one time, the discrepancy will probably balance out the next time they engage in sex.
But with femdom, the goal is for the woman to get her submissive partner to surrender his coins over to her without her giving him any of her coins. Thus she ends up with more and more coins with the ultimate goal that she will possess all the coins.
I never understood this analogy until this past year. I always viewed femdom as no different than vanilla sex when it came to pleasure. My hubby had unusual sexual needs but I was doing a lot of this for him. If he needed to be spanked or whipped or cuckolded, and if in the process I also gained pleasure, than in my mind it was an equal exchange. Even when he came to me last year and asked me to treat him more ‘cruelly’, I still viewed that as something he needed and something I was willing to explore with him.
These past few months I’ve had a revelation about the coin analogy. It really started around our anniversary in early October when I chose to spend it by going on a mini-vacation with another man. I always was focused on my husband and I was always concerned if his needs were being met by what we were doing. But for the first time I had the revelation of what my hubby really wanted. He wanted me to be selfish for my pleasure, even at the sacrifice of his pleasure. That is what drives his masochism. That is what satisfies his submission. And once I began focusing more and more on my pleasure, my pleasure became better and better. I started to possess more coins and hubby is more at peace with his world when I possess his coins.
And it doesn’t have to be advanced stuff like riding the horse or strappado. Take last night. I needed a massage so I had hubby prepare the massage table. Usually he gives me a full body massage followed by him going down on me (this pleasure combination is still my favorite femdom activity). But I added something extra to the mix last night. I put him in his kali’s teeth device to prevent him from growing an erection as he was massaging and worshipping my body. A number of times he winced in pain as he was giving me the massage, as he forgot he was wearing the device and started to grow an erection. The spiked device squashed his sexual pleasure thus hubby surrendered more coins to me as I was being pleasured.
He orally pleasured me after my massage and I retired to bed sexually satisfied. I gave him permission to remove the kali’s teeth and install his CB6000. He went to bed denied with no sexual pleasure. However, we both were mentally and emotionally fulfilled. Hubby went to bed a very happy man. So I am not really a cruel wife. I may be sexually cruel towards him but in the process I am giving him what he wants and needs. Therefore the reality is I am a very loving wife.
I don’t feel I am anywhere close to possessing all of his coins, and I have yet to have the full revelation of what the really means or how we get there, but at least I now know the direction we are headed and our course has been firmly set as we continue on our femdom journey together.  

Saturday, January 5, 2013


Last night I put to use the leather arm-binders I got hubby for Christmas. I finally got around to trying what they call “strappado”, the alternative to riding the horse I mentioned in a previous post.

We did this inside the confinement room. I had hubby run a rope from the hook on the floor, through the hooks in the wall and over and through a hook in the ceiling. Then it was time for a little feminization, nothing overly complicated but I dressed him in stockings and a garter belt. And he was in his CB6000 the entire time.
I picked up a modest pair of old pumps with a low heel at a used clothing store a few days ago that were in his shoe size. I had him slip inside the shoes underneath where the rope hung from the ceiling. I placed hubby in bondage with the arm-binders with his arms pulled behind his body. I secured the rope to the hook in the arm-binders and tied it tightly as hubby leaned forward. He was most unsure of himself as he kept saying he was going to fall, but once I got the rope pulled snuggly and properly tied, he realized it would support his weight.

The confinement room is a tight fit for two people so I left the door open and sat in a chair just beyond the doorway as I watched hubby’s predicament. It didn’t take long for his calves and legs to tire from the pressure on his leg muscles due to the pumps. Being his first time I figured he wouldn’t last long but that didn’t stop me from doing plenty of teasing before I considered freeing him from his constraints. 

I made James verbalize to me how he felt about New Year’s Eve. I asked him if he enjoyed watching his wife with another man. I asked him if felt humiliated over dinner, driving us around, watching me dancing with Thomas, watching him run his hands all over my new leather pants, watching me kissing Thomas at midnight, watching me make-out with Thomas when we got home, and finally when I took Thomas to bed with me. I asked James, “What was the most humiliating moment for you on New Year’s Eve?”
He said it was during dinner when a co-worker of his walked by our table and saw me sitting next to Thomas as James was all alone on the other side of the booth. I asked him “Did I know this co-worker and why was that so humiliating for you?” James confessed that although I had never met this co-worker, just the fact that someone he knew saw us all out together made him extremely embarrassed. The rest of the night he was constantly looking around for other people we might know. He didn’t see anyone else but that fear was with him all night long.
I continued to tease James about the entire night. I made him verbalize his blessing and how as a liberated wife he understands and totally accepts my right to date other men (he loves it when I do this). When I was satisfied with his confessions, I made him beg me to release him from his most uncomfortable bondage. It was probably no more than 20 minutes total before I set him free but I wanted to administer a whipping before untying him.
Usually when I whip James inside the confinement room he is bound to one of the walls, which gives me enough room to stand behind and swing the whip. But with him bound in the center of the room I didn’t have enough space. Therefore, I selected my long handle riding crop and I stood in the doorway as I whipped his ass with the crop. I couldn’t get any kind of follow-through but I was able to flick my wrist enough to make the crop effective. I got in a few really good shots that made him lunge forward, which put more pressure on his calves, arms and shoulders. His arms and chest muscles actually began to quiver while I was whipping him.  I finally took pity and freed my hubby.
I don’t think James liked strappado. Too bad, because I plan on doing this more as I want to increase his time and I also want to get him to the place where I can put him in higher heels. This was his first time so I think he will get more accustomed to it the more we do it. I wish the confinement room was bigger. Maybe the next time I might try it out in the middle of the basement. The beauty of the confinement room is it already has all the hooks in place in the walls, floor and ceiling. We’ll see and we’ll continue to experiment.  

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Movie Review: Preaching to the Perverted

Directed by Stuart Urban  

Starring: Guinevere Turner
Christien Anholt
Tom Bell
Charlotte Weston
Julie Graham 

Filmed: 1997 

Running time: 97 minutes

Many times as I’ve watch BDSM themed movies, I’ve wondered what it would be like to see the kink interwoven within a solid plot with good acting. “Eyes Wide Shut” starring Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman comes to mind as a movie with heaps of sexuality but also a plotline that keeps your attention.  

As the readers of my column know, I was disappointed with the film version of “Venus In Furs” (1994 version) and the movie “Seduction - Cruel Woman” as the directors went for art over plot and the slow pace took away from the erotic scenes in those films. I like to be aroused and occasionally shocked at the content but I also want to be entertained when I watch a movie. 

I suspect that much of the problems with BDSM films are their low budgets. There is only so much a director can do when he doesn’t have a great deal to work with. So imagine my pleasant surprise when I watched “Preaching to the Perverted.” I went into this film not expecting much. I thought it would be another “bizarre” film with plenty of shock value but little entertainment value. And while nowhere on the scale of an “Eyes Wide Shut”, it was obvious early on that “Preaching to the Perverted” had a healthy budget.  

First of all, the look of the film is great. The photography, sets, costumes, and soundtrack are all first rate. In watching the extras on the DVD, I learned that they used the color pink in every scene that represented some sort of kink. The fetish outfits are magnificent and definitely bizarre at times but in a fun way.
Then there were the various locations where they shot the film. Whether it was the scenes at the “House of Thwax” or the secluded mansion (reminded me a little of the mansion in “Eyes Wide Shut”) or the fancy cars that Mistress Tanya and her entourage drove around in (loved her license of “Bow B 4 Me”) there was plenty for the eyes to behold and enjoy.  
The acting was also good, given the nature of the material. Guinevere Turner was excellent as the sexy and dominant Mistress Tanya Cheex. Whereas I found the dominant females in “Venus in Furs” and “Seduction - Cruel Woman” to be unconvincing and in some cases depressing, here I found both Turner and Julie Graham as the lesbian Dominatrix Eugenie (submissive to Turner but dominant to others) to be credible as dominant females who believe in the superiority of women (or “Womon” as Mistress Tanya calls her gender, meaning “I woo no man”). The lesbian Eugenie believes in “cunt power”.
The plot is about a British government minister, Henry Harding, on a moral crusade (he heads the United Front Opposing Filth). He hires an inexperienced young computer whizzkid, Peter Emery, to infiltrate the United Kingdom BDSM scene. Harding is set on putting out of business a club called "House of Thwax" run by Mistress Tanya Cheex. Peter is a Christian and a virgin and he is given the mission to secretly videotape evidence of the club's immoral and illegal activities. He is to gather evidence so Harding can prosecute those involved. It is all a part of his campaign to shut down the fetish and sex club industry.
Peter gains access into Mistress Tanya’s inner circle and she begins to introduce him to her world of fetish, kink and female domination. Peter finds himself attracted to Tanya, and realizes that he does not want for her to go to jail in Harding's prosecution. Peter develops both a physical and a spiritual connection to the mysterious Mistress.
There were plenty of over the top and unrealistic scenes in this movie. “Preaching to the Perverted” is not a serious look at the Fetish world or the world of FemDom. This is a fantasy movie, pure and simple, but interwoven within this fictitious fantasy movie are plenty of genuine portrayals of Doms and subs. The movies goes for humor in a lot of scenes and thus the D&S action is over the top. Yet there are some scenes that I found to be erotic. 
For example, in the beginning of the film Mistress Tanya is being pleasured by one of her male slaves in a most unusual way. She attaches a chain from his nose ring and runs it to her cit ring. Her slave twists his head from side to side inducing orgasm after orgasm for Tanya. That is until the director goes for humor and has the slave sneeze, which breaks the mood for Tanya. She disciplines him by placing a gag in his mouth and administering a whipping to him as she relaxes and reads on the bed (pausing every so often to give him another smack with her whip).  
Later, this same slave attempts to have intercourse with the Mistress which disgusts her. Tanya reprimands the slave by correctly pointing out, “No penetration, Ever! No penis, Ever! My clit ring can give me more pleasure in a few seconds than your penis can in a million years.” Tanya is definitely a true believer in FemDom. 
Another erotic scene was Peter’s first live encounter with Tanya. She is performing on stage at her club and Peter, trying to get close to take pictures, is grabbed as they mistake him as part of the show. Tanya demands her slaves be whipped but Peter refuses. She then asks him if he is willing to take her mark (a piercing on his nipples). The naïve virgin refuses at first but when she tells him that he will never get close to her again unless he proves his loyalty, Peter takes one for the team (The British government) and allows Tanya to pierce his nipples in a public display. 
Later, Tanya brings Peter to her bedroom and she plays with him. She attaches a chain from his nipple rings to her nipples rings and does a soft erotic dance, moving side to side to stimulate both her nipples and his.
Once she is aroused, she orders Peter to orally service her. Being a virgin, Peter does not know what to do. Tanya calls for her lesbian slave, Eugenie, and asks her to demonstrate for Peter how Mistress likes to be orally serviced. Peter watches and after Eugenie is done pleasuring Tanya, it is Peter’s turn as he gets to pleasure a woman with his mouth for the first time in his life. (Note – this is an “R” rated movie so all of this is implied and they walk the audience up to the line but no actual sex is shown).
Another erotic scene is when Tanya has Peter use her pleasure device “The Relaxerciser” on her. It is an electro stimulation device that Peter uses to send shock waves to Tanya’s clit ring. Peter’s job is to turn up the charge on the box when his Mistress cries, “More, Fuck me, More”. Peter feels humiliated and emasculated as he is giving his Mistress pleasure but he is getting nothing in return. He even asks “is this all I’m good for, to be the keeper of your clitoris box?” Tanya just smiles. 
Another great FemDom scene is when Tanya makes Peter prove his loyalty by being Eugenie’s pony. He is dressed in a harness, forced into a pair of high heel shoes and he is attached to a cart as if her were a horse. This takes place at a mansion owned by a wealthy couple in the country, she has an important position with the government, but she and her husband host secret fetish parties. Tanya and the other attendees of the party watch with enjoyment as Eugenie takes Peter for a ride around the estate. A large butt plug with a tail is placed in Peter and he pulls Eugenie in the cart as she whips him with her buggy whip.  
Later, Tanya hangs Peter in suspension and admires the marks from the whipping. Peter says he feels more like a Zebra than a horse because of the stripes on his flesh. As Peter hangs in suspension, Tanya rewards him for his obedience by giving him pleasure for the first time in his young life (via an implied BJ). 
These kinds of scenes are interwoven within the plot line of Peter trying to gain evidence to convict these people for engaging in perverted practices. Peter is torn between his loyalty to Harding and the government, and his growing love for Tanya.   
What is nice about Peter’s character is that he never lost his innocence or his sense of right or wrong. While the film obviously takes shots at Moralists and Religious people who try to impose their morality on society (Harding), it does treat Peter’s faith with respect. He manages to stay committed to his beliefs while at the same time he becomes accepting of the lifestyle choices of others. He comes to realize that although BDSM is not his cup of tea, he sees that these people are here by choice and they represent no threat to society.


The movie takes a predictable direction with a big trial scene in the end where Peter must choose between Tanya and his government. Does Peter dare lie under oath to protect the woman he loves? And can a Pagan woman and a Christian man be compatible? These questions are answered by the end of the film with a rather predictable slant in favor of a kink friendly audience. I am sure the Church would not approve, and they didn’t as this film was banned in some countries, including Ireland. And such a response by the Church and the Government makes the director’s point even better than this movie ever could. Supposively writer and director Stuart Urban made this film after attending obscenity trials in London against people involved in various fetish clubs. 

Interesting that the other group of critics about this film were the BDSM community that didn’t like how they were portrayed. They wanted a more serious portrayal of the BDSM scene, and not this over the top fictitious portrayal. I guess moralists can come in many different shades. A closed minded, judgmental person can have tattoos and wear leather just as easily as a conservative Church attendee.  

I recommend “Preaching to the Perverted” for its entertainment value. The plot should keep your attention as it moves at a fast pace and the characters are interesting. It is funny in spots and the D&S scenes and references will appeal to readers of "Predominant" and my blog.  

The extras on this DVD are also good. I found out that Guinevere Turner was trained for this role in New York by the real life Dominatrix Mistress Diane. Mistress Diane flew to London for the movie premiere of “Preaching to the Perverted” where she met and fell in love with the director of the documentary “Perverts Progress: The making of Preaching to the Perverted.” They actually got married shortly thereafter.  

I also enjoyed the comic strip about this movie that is on the DVD. It shows some of the more erotic scenes in a different visual, as a comic strip. The DVD is available on Amazon.

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars