Monday, April 21, 2014

A tour of Kathleen’s toy box


As promised in an earlier post, I finally had some free time this weekend to take some photos of what’s in my toy box. Granted this isn’t everything and I have other stuff stored down in the confinement room but this will give you some idea of the things I’ve collected over the years. I would say my collection began in 2000 but the majority of it was bought (or donated by male admirers) between 2002 and 2007. And in recent years I have added a few new items. So let’s get started.
Here is my toy chest full of goodies

 

Inside my toy box is some of my arsenal of discipline implements (yes, I have had sessions with James where I have used each and every item in a single session)
 
There are riding crops and wooden canes
 
Paddles and a nasty leather strap
 
Tawse and slapper
 
 

Penis whip and ball punisher and a soft fleece glove to soothe sore bottoms

 

And of course my floggers. The one on the top is nasty and leaves welts but the other two are soft warm-up floggers. Notice the craftsmanship of the handles on the soft floggers.

 
 

Then there are my leather clothes.

 

I have leather thongs, leather bras, leather corsets, leather halter tops, leather pants, leather shorts, leather skirts, leather gloves, leather boots and other accessories.

 

And this is just what I have in my toy box. I have other leather clothes in my closet, pants, shorts, a leather jacket and my leather trench coat.

 

I have some clothes hanging in the confinement room for the winter. Most of my PVC stuff is down there, like my PVC boots and gloves along with other leather items.

 

Now to the fun stuff. Here are some unique items in my toy box that I use to punish/dominate/torture my willing hubby. Here is a pair of thumb cuffs. These are more diabolical than handcuffs. Imagine being bound with your thumbs locked together to some object. It can be quite painful if you flinch or jerk from a whipping or some other discipline.

 

How about these Vampire gloves? They have wicked prickly pins in the fingers. I’ve given James a hand job with these bad boys and it did draw blood. But mostly I just spank his bottom with them. They leave quite an impression, both figuratively and physically.

 

Then there are my strap-on harnesses and dildos.

 

Gags and blindfolds for hubby.

 

Enema equipment (I have more in the confinement room).


 

Nipple clamps (I wrote about these in a previous post)

 

I have various cuffs (ankle and wrist for hubby) but here is a pair of thigh cuffs and a slave collar. I like to put the collar on hubby and the thigh cuffs on me. Then I lock the rings on his collar to the rings on my cuffs and his head is trapped at my pussy (or my ass) and he is helpless until I am totally satisfied. It’s been a while since we’ve used these. I think that will be our next session.

 

Here are some more toys. I love to tease with the feather duster and spank with a hairbrush and you can never have enough rope. And those clothes pins connected to a pull-ring, I place the pins all over his cock and balls and then with a sudden pull, they come off very quickly. James hates this one. Oh, and I’ve discussed in the past how an eye-dropper can be fun during an intense tease and deny session. Having a man on the edge and dripping warm water on his cock and balls is my version of water torture.

 

I also have some c/b bondage devices. I even found our old CB2000, the one that started it all.

 

And there are some other odds and ends items in my toy box, like stockings for me and panties for James. Some of these packs of stockings have never even been open. They were purchased many years ago at the Outer Skin outside of Pittsburgh.

 

The panties are old ones that I use to wear but now hubby wears them when he does his chores. I also like to take a pair of these panties when I am with a lover and I will make sure me and my lover leave a little present on them as we will use them to wipe ourselves after sex. Then on my return home I might make James wear them or if I am really feeling extra cruel, I might stuff them in his mouth during a session.

 
Finally, there are some other sexy clothes in my toy chest that are not fetish.
 
 
 
Those that remember reading my story about the first time James and I visited a Dominatrix might recall that I didn’t own any fetish wear at the time. So I wore this sexy thing and Morgan said I was stunning. I was practically hanging out of the darn thing but it did show off major cleavage, that’s for sure.

 

That’s all for now! I have other things, like my Delrin canes and spiked mats and other whips and paddles that are down in the confinement room. But this was a tour of my toy box. I hope you enjoyed. Feel free to give me some feedback, after all this took a lot of effort on my part.

Saturday, April 19, 2014

Tease and Deny with a (somewhat) happy ending


Last night was the first chance I’ve had to play with hubby since I got back from Vegas. I must not have gotten enough sleep when I was in Vegas because I’ve been very tired since I got home. The three hour time change and going back to work on Monday didn’t leave me enough time to catch up on my sleep. But thankfully I was off for Good Friday and I was able to sleep in. So last night I decided it was time for hubby’s promised tease and deny session.
The confinement room is almost warm enough for us to use again but not quite there yet. Therefore, I decided to use the massage table again as a bondage table. Those who have been reading my blog know the drill. I tie James’ wrist and ankle cuffs to the legs of the table and I use a roll of Saran Wrap to place him in restrictive bondage. He is lying face up and I wrap his entire body to the table except for his face and his genitals. I removed his chastity device.  
By the way, on a side note, I tried to use the DL 2000 when I was in Vegas, using my i-phone and my tablet to send “love pulses” to James through the DL 2000 device. It didn’t work for some reason. We’ve been having some technical problems with the device so I might have to schedule a trip to see Ginger and her hubby again. Ginger’s hubby is somewhat of an expert on the DL 2000. This is not indictment on the product because you must remember it was a used DL 2000 when I got it as a gift from Ginger. It’s had a lot of wear and tear from Ginger and her hubby and we’ve been using it a good bit as well. Hopefully it will be an easy fix.
Getting back to the tease and deny session, once I had hubby bound, I left the room and changed into black leather bra and leather thong with knee high black leather boots. Using the Hitachi Magic Wand vibrator, I tormented hubby’s body, giving him a little pleasure as I ran the vibrator on low against his balls, occasionally running it lightly against his shaft, and pinching and biting his nipples. All the while I shared with hubby some of the salacious details of my Vegas trip with Derik. Of course I gave him the juicy details of my trip to a Gentlemen’s Club but ever better than that, I shared how Derik made love to me countless times, how much I enjoyed his body and his very large cock. I had hubby whimpering and cooing in no time.
This only went on for between fifteen to twenty minutes before James’ cock was quivering and pulsating with every beat of his heart. It had been 49 days since his last orgasm, a mere 11 days short of two months, and since he was such a good husband doing all the chores I assigned him when I was away on my trip, I decided to allow him an orgasm, if he could have it with very little stimulation.
Using the vibrator against his balls and just a tad little bit against his lower shaft (nowhere near his sweet spot) I did a little sensual verbal humiliation (which drives James wild with passion). I humiliated him about being such a pussy-whipped husband that he allows, and more importantly consents to his wife taking trips with other men while he stays home and does a long list of chores that she assigns him. I teased him “What kind of a man does that, James? What would your family, friends and co-workers think if they knew?”
It didn’t take very long of this kind of talk. James’ cock started pulsating fast and I could sense it coming, so I turned off the vibrator and stood back and watched. James had a ruined orgasm as he climaxed with nothing or no one touching him at the moment of climax. He let out a yell from the intensity. He shot his load way up in the air and all over his Saran Wrap covered chest, some of it landing on his shoulders and the edge of the table. As soon as he was done climaxing, I slapped his balls in a series of quick pats with the palm of my hand, which caused him to gasp.
After I wiped him off with a towel, I freed him from his bondage and took him to my bedroom where he worshipped my body. I allowed him to lick my leather thong (I love that sensation) before I removed it and had him orally pleasure me. James was totally full of passion and sexual energy. His orgasm did not drain him of that one iota. I guess because it was a ruined orgasm, which was more torture than pleasure. After I was sexually satisfied, I ordered James to take a cold shower and to reinstall his chastity device.
Usually if I give him a ruined orgasm, I will allow him one more orgasm to totally clean out his pipes. But I’ve received some feedback from others that say that isn’t necessary and I’m being too kind-hearted toward James. So I figure I will experiment. This time I am putting him back in chastity without a second orgasm to see how he does.

Sunday, April 13, 2014

Kathleen visits a Gentlemen’s Club


I had an absolutely marvelous time in Vegas. The weather was perfect. The food was fantastic. And the sex was very, very wild. I learned a lot about Derik on this trip. He has a kinky side, he’s not into femdom or BDSM but he has some wild fantasies of his own. After a couple nights of “vanilla” sex (if you want to call sex between a married woman and her well-endowed male companion “vanilla”) Derik let his guard down and felt me out on how I would feel on having a night of being really “naughty”. He proposed that we go to a high-end Gentlemen’s Club together and I could watch him get a lap dance and he could watch me get one. I’ve done some wild things in my life: Femdom groups, played with other Femdom couples, attended a BDSM group, attended a fetish party, attended a CFNM party, etc. But I had never been to a Gentlemen’s Club. Well, you can now scratch that one off the list.
Derik knew my feelings about not wanting to see women being objectified but he assured me it would not be the case, and he was right. Derik also made sure my experience would be first class all the way. We both got dressed up and we were picked up by the club’s stretch limo, just the two of us and the driver who seemed to be a mile away. That had to be the longest limo I had ever been in.
We arrived at the club and the place was huge. I didn’t know what to expect but in my wildest imagination I was not expecting such a classy place. We were escorted to a private table and walking all around the place were some of the most beautiful women I had ever seen in my life. All week long Derik made me feel very desirable and sexy. When we left the hotel that night I thought I was one hot looking older woman. After all, I was no Vegas Virgin, I had been to the Vegas nightclubs with Ginger and although we were somewhat out of our league, we always held our own with the young and the beautiful. But once I saw the women at this Gentlemen’s Club, I felt my age and I was definitely intimidated. Derik was like a kid in a candy store, gawking at the women, which bothered me at first, but then I realized he was living out his fantasy on this night. I’m not married to Derik, he’s not my husband, he’s my male companion, my fuck buddy, my friend with benefits. So there was no need to be jealous. After a few drinks, I relaxed and just went with it.
After being approached my many women, this one woman sat at our table. She had some attitude to her, she was beautiful but she was also mature, in her early 30’s. She was European with a heavy accent and she really had her shit together. I liked her right away and Derik could tell I approved of this one. So he asked me if I would be willing to go to VIP with her, just the three of us. I didn’t know what to expect but we had come this far, so what the hell.
We went to this back room and were seated on this private couch, just the three of us. Derik had to buy a bottle of wine in addition to paying for an hour of the woman’s time. It dawned on me how the women at this club are not really being objectified. It is the men who are being used. They are having their wallets raped just to be in the presence of beautiful women. Men were paying top dollar, and I mean big bucks, just to be able to touch these women and see them semi-naked (in this club full nudity is outlawed, the women must always have on their panties). So in reality, it was the women who were in the dominant position.
Sure, the owners of the club were making a fortune but in the smaller picture it was the women making some serious cash at the expense of all these penis-led men who are controlled by their sex drive, thus they are controlled by the women who can manipulate that sex drive. The entire night was quite an education.
Getting back to us, after we each had a glass of wine, the woman gave Derik a lap dance while I watched. She immediately commented on how big Derik’s package was, and she looked at me and said “you’re a lucky girl”. I just smiled. She grinded against Derik’s package and unbutton his shirt and rubber her breasts against his face and chest. They simulated dry humping and the dancer was definitely enjoying herself. I could tell she was trying her best to rub her panty covered clit against Derik’s pants covered erection. She was really getting into it. And so was Derik. At one point she said to me, “He’s a great lover, I can tell. Most guys that come in here don’t know how to do it. They just want to grind fast and hard. Your man knows what he’s doing. Few American men are great lovers. In my country, the men know how to be slow and passionate.”
I jumped in, “you mean they know how to worship women.” She just smiled and said “that’s why I like older men. They know how to worship women. Younger men do not.” I told her to seek out submissive American men and she will find men who know how to worship women. Of course Derik is not submissive but he does respect women, which is why we connected. Derik has a submissive side and he is eager to please the woman he is with, but he is different from James. Derik is too driven by testosterone and male ego. Perhaps being endowed with a huge penis makes it difficult to be submissive after women have ogled over his package his whole life. When women makes a man feel he is God’s gift to women, he starts to believe it. To me, a guy like my husband is God’s gift to women. A humble man, a man who serves women is the kind you marry. Derik is the kind you date and fuck. His ex-wife must have come to the same conclusion.
After Derik’s lap dance was over, now it was my turn. Derik wanted to see her give me a lap dance. I was hesitant but Derik has been a good sport about me being married and using him to cuckold my husband, so I figured I owed him a fantasy fulfillment as long as it didn’t go too far. This woman was very beautiful and I must admit that I enjoyed my lap dance. I was getting aroused watching her with Derik and when it was my turn, my panties were already wet, and between the wine and the atmosphere, I got into it and we put on quite the show for Derik. We even kissed each other on our necks and the sides of our faces. And dare I make a confession here, I probably should not, and I might regret writing this, but here it goes. At one point when this woman was kissing my neck as she was grinding her body against me and had her hand up my dress rubbing my thigh, I fantasized it was Ginger doing it to me with our husbands watching. That’s kind of been one of my private fantasies lately, ever since the night Ginger and her lover wanted to have a Ménage a trois with me. That’s where my mind went during my lap dance with this woman.
After we left the Gentlemen’s Club, Derik and I went back to our hotel and we were both very horny. Once we entered our room, Derik undressed me and guided me right to the bed. It was probably the best sex of the entire trip, and that’s saying something. But if there is a downside to such an experience it is this. As Derik was fucking me, my mind wondered if he was thinking about me, or the woman from the club? Not that it matters, because I was getting the great sex, not her. But that’s why I could never do the Gentlemen’s Club with a man I was deeply in love with. I want his total devotion. I wouldn’t want him gawking over other women or fantasizing about them. Derik is my part-time lover so I was able to participate in his fantasy. I’m not so sure how I would handle it with a full-time lover and definitely not with my husband.
However, I had a very deviant thought on the plane ride home. What if I took James to this Gentlemen’s Club while he was wearing his CB6000? How humiliating that would be for him? The bouncers at the entrance of the club wand everyone down so I would have to tell them my hubby is in chastity. I can just see James’ face turning red. Then I could pick out a woman and take him to VIP and humiliate him by making him watch me with the woman. He would be denied the right to touch her. Now that might be a plan for a future trip to Vegas. Yes, that would definitely be a humiliating night for James. And perhaps Ginger could come with us and bring her hubby in his permanent chastity device. The husbands would have to watch us getting the lap dances that they pay for yet they would be denied the right to touch any of the beautiful women. The possibilities are many. We could make them tell the women who approach them at the Club that they are in chastity and not allowed any lap dances. They would have to admit that only their wives are allowed sexual pleasure. I might have to run this idea by Ginger.
There is much more I could write about my trip to Vegas. I saw several shows. I really liked “Raiding the Rock Vault” at LVH. The show was two hours long and the kind of music I grew up with. The LVH (the old Hilton) has seen better days but the show was worth the trip. We had many great meals. It would be hard to pick a favorite but perhaps the four course meal at Emeril’s Table Ten at the Palazzo might win the prize. The Colorado filet mignon and barbecue shrimp were to die for.
When I got home, my faithful hubby picked me up at the airport and he was a good boy and did all of his assigned chores. I plan on rewarding him later this week with a D&S session. I’m thinking a prolonged tease and denial session where I share all the sexual details about my time with Derik would be appropriate. I’ll be sure to share how it goes in a future post.

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Preparing for a much anticipated rendezvous

Not much to report lately but I’m flying to Vegas on Sunday to meet Derik for a five night rendezvous. I’ve already made out a long ‘Hubby Do’ list that James must complete while I’m away. The nicer weather has allowed me to include both inside and outside chores to his list. Also, it will not be long before we can utilize the confinement room again.

Thinking of warmer weather, they’re calling for temperatures in the 80’s next week in Vegas so that means plenty of pool time. It will be pool by day, dinner and shows by night and lots of hot sex with Derik both day and night.
James and I haven’t played much the past several weeks. First he was sick and then I was sick. Plus some personal life situations to deal with that’s occupied our time. So to get things back in line, last night I had a long phone call with Derik to finalize our plans. I put on my soft leather thigh-high boots and had James at my feet, worshipping my boots while I was chatting with Derik. James was in chastity, wearing a pair of panties and he had to endure hearing all the details, which I’m sure was quite humiliating for him. I even put Derik on speaker phone a few times (he had no idea that James was in the room with me).
The best part was when I told Derik how much I’ve missed him and how horny I am for his body. Of course I was doing all of this for the benefit of my hubby. I wanted him to get in that cuckold frame of mind while I’m away. I want him to feel close to me while he does his chores.
Saturday I hope to expand on this and have James bathe me, shave my legs and put moisturizing lotion all over my skin, as I continue to tease him about his status as my cuckold. He will also help me pack my suitcase and I might even give him a thrill by modeling the sexy lingerie outfit I bought to wear for Derik. Sunday James will drive me to the airport. I’ll be sure to post the details of my trip when I get home.

Saturday, March 22, 2014

Love Me like you Hate Me


 
Directed by: Erika Lust 

Starring: Venus O’Hara,
Anna Linng 

Released: 2010 

Language: English  

Length: 6 minutes


Back in 2012 I was contacted by a gentleman who was one of the organizers of the Fetish Film Festival, the subcultural film conference that meets in Kiel, Germany each year. The Fetish Film Festival explores narrative works about consensual erotic encounters. This gentleman was a fan of my movie reviews and he extended a personal invitation for me to attend the Fetish Film Festival. He also sent me a list of the Festival’s winners for 2011.  

A flick that caught my attention was one of the nominees for best short film, a D&S goodie titled “Love Me like you Hate Me”. It didn’t win the award for best short film (that honor went to a film called “Fourplay” about a cross-dressing male prostitute).  However, the star actress of “Love Me like you Hate Me”, Venus O’Hara, did win the award for best actress in a short film.  

And when I say short film, I really mean ‘short’ film. “Love me like you Hate Me” is a mere six minutes in length. Yet, I loved every second of it and that surprised me a little because although the film is about D&S (and more specifically female domination) the film explores female dominating female.
 
Why did I like it so much? That’s a good question (and I’m glad I asked it). I think I liked it for a number of reasons.  

For one thing, seeing that I have red hair, I am kind of partial to red headed dominant women. I think we are a fraternity (or sorority if you prefer) unto ourselves. Red hair, fair skin, and freckles are not the easiest body traits for a teenage girl to deal with when she is coming of age in a society that is obsessed with sunbathing, tanning beds and bronzed skin. When the Beach Boys (and later David Lee Roth) sang “I wish they all could be California girls”, well thank God they didn’t get their wish because that wasn’t me.  

Growing up I always felt a kinship with Katharine Hepburn, Maureen O’Hara and other famous red heads. These women were sexy and glamorous and I idolized them. Of course some people liked to stereotype me with zany female red heads such as Lucille Ball and Carol Burnett. But that’s the beauty of red heads. We can be glamorous, sexy, wacky, fiery and very dominant.  

So maybe I was drawn to Venus O’Hara because of her hair color. I had never heard of her before but Venus O’Hara is a fetish model, an actress, and a writer.
 
 

In fact, “Love Me like you Hate Me” is also a book, a coffee table book, written by Venus O’Hara and another woman, Erika Lust. Here is a brief synopsis of the book; 

“This book provides a modern perspective on a variety of practices that may be considered taboo for many women: to be tied up oneself or to tie someone else up, role-play and dressing up, giving pain or receiving it, being a strict dominatrix or being a submissive slave, punishing our partner or being punished by them... Explore with Venus O’Hara and Erika Lust the seductive thrills of domination or the fear and excitement of submission.” 
 

The short film “Love Me like you Hate Me” is based on the book with the same name and it stars Venus O’Hara. Oh, did I mention that she plays all the parts in this short film? I didn’t realize it the first time I watched it but when I went back and watched it again, sure enough, all 7 characters in this short film are indeed the red-headed Venus O’Hara. She plays herself plus six additional personas of her personality, including 3 dominant personas as she interacts with and dominates … well … herself, in a variety of role-playing scenarios.
 

 

She is the strict French teacher who spanks her female student when she isn’t able to comprehend the lesson.
 

 

She is the cruel housewife who humiliates and exploits her female housekeeper by throwing her cigarette on the floor that the housekeeper is scrubbing and grinds it with her shoes, all the while verbally degrading the submissive housekeeper about the poor job she is doing.
 

 


She is the evil Dominatrix who abuses her female slave. She locks her in a closet and only lets her out after she begs. She verbally humiliates her about her hygiene, binds her in a tub, and cruelly dunks her head under the water. All of these characters are played erotically by Venus O’Hara.
 

 

How does she pull this off? With the help of another actress, Anna Linng. We never see Anna’s face but she is the stand-in when the camera captures female hands spanking female bottom or female legs and shoes standing in front of the submissive housekeeper or the gloved hand of a Dominatrix pushing the head of her slave under the bath water.
 

 
 


It’s very clever and I love the haunting piano music that accompanies the scenes as it adds to the domination, the cruelty and the intense humiliation.   
 
So do I have different dominant personas? Absolutely! I can be the cruel Dominatrix or the fun-loving independent spirit or the sensual temptress or the quiet intellectual or the spoiled brat who is accustomed to getting her way or the fiery Irish Bitch with the bad temper.  

Do I have submissive fantasies? No, I can’t say that I do but I have known dominant women who like to be on the other end as they explore their submissive fantasies with other dominant women. Back when I was active in ClubFEM, I had a dominant woman in our group who asked me if I would be open to dominating her within a role-playing scenario. She didn’t want any of the other Mistresses (or submissive men) knowing but she had a long-held fantasy that involved a specific role-play where she was submissive to a woman. And believe me, she was dominant in real life, and very dominant with her husband. Did I oblige her request? Now, now … that’s private information between just me and her.  
 
So even if you’re not into seeing a woman dominating another woman, “Love Me like you Hate me” should still be an erotic viewing experience. I think you’ll find Ms. O’Hara’s dominant style to be quite arousing.   


One final thought about this short and that’s the title. You may recall that I explored my hubby’s masochism and one area that I had difficulty comprehending is when he would ask me to be cruel. I finally caught on and what he was really saying was … love me like you hate me. To a submissive and a masochist, when a woman agrees to treat him cruelly, she is in fact demonstrating to him that she loves him. She is giving him what he needs, what he craves. To refuse to be cruel is to be cruel. To grant him the cruelty he longs for is to love him.    

Of course I am talking about role-playing and D&S exploration. To take this into everyday life and treat someone cruelly 24/7 would be unhealthy for all involved. I could never be cruel as it is more in my nature to be tender-hearted. But I do enjoy being cruel in our D&S play. Yes, I admit it. When it comes to my hubby, I enjoy loving him like I hate him. 

 

 

Rating: 5 out of 5 stars