Friday, October 3, 2014

Taking a break from regular blog updates


In June 2011, I was looking for something to motivate me with the femdom lifestyle. I was active in the lifestyle from 1998 to 2008 but had taken a hiatus from the lifestyle for a few years. When I decided to give it another go, I needed something to make it fresh and exciting again. That’s when I decided to write this blog. My purpose was two-fold.  

One, I wanted to share some of the experiences I had with femdom between 1998 and 2008. It was a wild ride where I went from nervous beginner to the Head Mistress of a femdom group. Along the way I was a phone Mistress, a pro Domme, and a movie reviewer for a popular femdom e-zine. I met some fascinating people on this journey and had some interesting experiences. I figured people would enjoy reading about them.   

The second purpose of this blog was to challenge me. I figured if I wrote about my femdom marriage, having a blog would push me to make certain I had something to write about. And it did. This blog was exactly what I needed to expand my horizons and try new things. It was also wonderful to be able to share my thoughts, struggles and challenges with others.  

But now I feel I need a break, not from the lifestyle, but from blogging about the lifestyle. Right now it is just hubby and I, no groups, no other people, just him and I practicing our lifestyle within our marriage. And that’s how I want it for now. No pressure to write about what we do or don’t do. I just want to reset things with him and, like I said in my previous post, focus on the fundamentals.  

In my opinion, where I see our focus over the next months would not make for a great blog and I’m afraid most of the entries would be redundant. How many times can I write about spanking hubby with my hairbrush? Or hubby giving me a massage? Or hubby doing his chores while wearing my panties? It’s fun for us but pretty tame. The thing is: I am ready for tame in my life. I want to work on my relationship with James without “would this make for a good blog entry” hanging over my head. I no longer want to be challenged or motivated. I want to just be, in a relaxed way, for now.  

Of course things can change and I might get on here from time to time to share with you if something extraordinary happens. Halloween is coming up so perhaps I will do a blog entry about what we do on that night, especially if I dress up in my new leather corset. So I am not saying I will never post again. Just don’t expect a weekly update. If things change, I will let you know.  

Thanks again for all the great comments and feedback I’ve received over these past three years. And it was great to touch base with some old friends who found me through this blog, especially the people from my ClubFEM days. God Bless you all!

Sunday, September 21, 2014

My focus for the Fall


As a follow-up to my previous post, Ginger e-mailed me yesterday and wanted to know if I wanted to get together with her and Dante again. I respectfully declined, although I admit there was a part of me that was tempted. What was it that tempted me? Being with Ginger? Being with Dante? Or being with the two of them at the same time? I know I sound like a prude but I really am conflicted about the whole thing. I think I am most tempted about Dante. He wins CFNM contests and he used to be a male dancer. I guess I should be flattered that she is willing to share him with me but of course that may be her only way of also being with me sexually. What would really be flattering is if I knew how Dante feels about it. If he was the one who asked Ginger to contact me about us getting together again, I am not so sure I could say no. Ginger is a lucky girl.

Dante still does the CFNM thing. Surely they can find someone else for a threesome, someone who is more into it than me. It was a hot experience but it was also a bit awkward, at least it was for me. The temptation is there to do it again. I hope I can shake it off. 

With Derik out of the picture, the focus for the Fall will be squarely on James. I want to re-establish the fundamentals with him again. I want to play more with him and maybe even go back to the drawing board and capture some of that magic we had when we first started out. I was even thinking about going back and doing the Elise Sutton ‘psychoanalysis of the submissive male’ procedures and exercises again. Those were a real eye opener and I learned a lot about my husband. They may seem lame compared to what we have evolved into as far as our lifestyle but it never hurts to re-stablish the fundamentals. I also remember the excellent article by a woman named Monica, “The Four Cornerstones of a successful FemDom marriage”. There is some excellent advice in there. 

I am not giving up on cuckolding. I recently wrote about the benefits of cuckolding, but I am going to take my time before I jump into another relationship with a man. If I meet someone, great, but I am not going to rush things. Ginger suggested I place a profile on the Ashley Madison website, a site dedicated to married people seeking affairs. Ginger said she knows women who use the site for cuckolding. The men that contact them think they are interested in having an affair, and they are, but what they don’t know is that the woman’s husband is fully aware of it.  

No, I don’t feel compelled to rush out to find a lover. I think it will be fun to explore other areas of D/s and femdom with James. In fact, the other day I called the fetish store in Vegas, the place that made me my custom leather pants, and asked them about a leather corset I saw on their site. It is really sexy. They still have my measurements so they’re going to make me one. That might be just what we need to add some extra fuel to our D/s sessions. I remember how excited James became when I got my custom made leather pants. We had some wonderful sessions, some of which I recorded in my blog. I’ll be sure to take a picture of the corset and post it when it arrives.

 

Friday, September 19, 2014

A lifestyle change and a fantasy fulfilled


It’s been almost a month since my last post and I appreciate the e-mails from my fans who wanted to make sure everything was okay in my life. Truth be told, I tried to write this post several times but didn’t feel comfortable until now. For the most part, life with my hubby has been good, nothing much new on that front as far as how we relate to each other. All is good there.  

However, Derik and I broke up. I knew this day would come but it still wasn’t easy. He met someone near where he lives and has decided to try a monogamous relationship with her. I’m happy for him but a part of me will miss him. After breaking up with Derik I wasn’t in the mood to post about it, or my lifestyle with James.  

When hearing about my break-up with Derik, Ginger has been trying to get me to come visit her. Last Saturday I took her up on it. She didn’t want me to bring James, which I thought was odd at first. When I got there she informed me that her lover, Dante, was going to be joining us for dinner. I felt a little uncomfortable at first but I agreed to stay. Ginger’s hubby served dinner and waited on us all night, filling and re-filling our wine glasses.  

Those that have been reading my blog know that I have had this fantasy of being with Ginger sexually. She is the one who planted these thoughts within me, making several attempts to sleep with me on our Vegas trips and almost initiating a Ménage à trois with Dante last February. Since then I have had dreams about it and have fantasized about it on several occasions, but I never thought I could ever do it.  

So Saturday night the opportunity presented itself again. I guess I was still feeling bummed out about Derik or maybe it was the wine but when Ginger asked me if I wanted to watch her play with Dante’s cock, I immediately got aroused. Ginger invited me to join them in the bedroom and before long Ginger was encouraging me to play with his cock. Dante’s cock is huge, bigger than Derik’s. I became very excited and very wet as I touched and stroked his massive erection. Ginger then made her move on me, kissing me and undressing me. She’s been wanting to do this for a long time and this time I let her.  

She got me on the bed and we kissed and she began pleasuring my body with her mouth, going between my legs and driving me wild as Dante watched. Then he joined in. Ginger rolled a condom over his cock and he fucked me while Ginger was kissing me. Wow, is he big. It was crazy, like I was dreaming, like an out of body experience. I couldn’t believe I was doing this.  

At one point, Ginger tried to get me to go down on her, but I declined. I am not bi-sexual so it’s one thing to have a woman licking me but I am not comfortable returning the favor, not yet anyway. But I did suck her breasts and kissed her while Dante fucked her. 

I spent the night, although I slipped out of the bedroom and slept on the couch. Her hubby offered me the guest room but I declined. He was not allowed in the bedroom while we had our threesome. Ginger did not allow him to watch, which I am glad because I don’t think I could have handled that.  

Sunday I drove home and that night I dominated James and told him the details. He got very, very excited. I, on the other hand, am still trying to get my head around it. It was erotic and the fulfillment of a fantasy but I don’t want that night to alter my friendship with Ginger. Things could change but for now, I am of the thought that it will be a one night only event. We shall see.
 
I might pull this post in the future because I feel it is extremely personal. But I wanted to let my readers know what is going on in my life. 

 

Thursday, August 28, 2014

The benefits of cuckolding


I got home last night to an immaculate house and, more importantly, to an adoring husband. It almost defies logic, at least the way society has always viewed marriage and relationships. I mean here I am, a married woman, who goes away on a trip with another man, has sexual relations with that man, and instead of returning to a jealous husband, I return to a man who is full of affection.

James was all over me last night and he was in a most obedient frame of mind. He eagerly unpacked my car and he was full of pride that he had accomplished all the chores I had left him on his hubby-do list. I was tired but I allowed James to join me in bed because he was so full of affection. I allowed him to lay next to me and caress my body as I told him the non-sexual details of my trip. I told him of the beautiful weather, the winery we visited, the museums, the walking trails, etc.  

Of course it didn’t take long before James asked me if Derik liked the outfit I had bought, you know the lingerie. He tried to be subtle but I knew he wanted to be teased and humiliated about being a cuckold. He wanted to hear the details. I had planned on waiting for this weekend to tell him, perhaps during a D&S session, but the moment was here and there was chemistry. I could sense it as I was feeding off of James’ excitement. If nothing else, I have learned to seize these moments when they present themselves instead of waiting for a better moment because the better moment may never happen. 

I gave James permission to suckle at my nipples and continue to caress my body with his hands as I told him about the great sex I had on the trip, especially Saturday night when I wore my outfit for Derik. It didn’t take long before I was as excited as hubby, so I ordered him between my legs as I continued to tease him, adding a little humiliation to my words. James wanted to dive right in and lick me all over down there, but I was still sensitive from all the sex I had with Derik, so I told hubby to suck my clit instead of licking it. I was in the mood for a marathon session of having my clit sucked.  

As James complied with my directive, I gave him more details, of course emphasizing how Derik fills me with his large cock in ways James never could. This made James all he more excited, as he was rubbing his caged cock against the mattress. I had to admonish him to be careful because an “accident” would not be tolerated, no matter how good of a husband he has been. James sucked me down there probably for a good 20, 25 maybe 30 minutes before I was ready to be licked to orgasm. Once I gave him the command, he was very eager, full of passion, and I came almost right away.  

Now I was totally relaxed. James cuddled next to me and caressed my body some more with his hands until I fell asleep. I could feel the love radiating from him.  

Yes, there are benefits to cuckolding, more benefits than I ever imagined. In fact, I was against cuckolding when James first mentioned it to me those many years ago. It took me awhile to come around to the idea, and it has not always been smooth. We’ve had obstacles to overcome and James has not always been at peace with the idea of me being with other men, even though he was the one who encouraged me to do so. I guess that is the bottom line. It really is the husband, the submissive husband, who holds the key as to whether cuckolding can work in a marriage. What woman wouldn’t want this sexual freedom within a loving marriage? But either the husband can be super supportive or he can struggle with it, and if he struggles with it, that adds stress to the woman’s life. It is only when the husband accepts his place and his role as a cuckold that the harmony takes place.  

I still plan on having a more intense session with hubby this weekend, perhaps a whipping and strap-on play with verbal humiliation as I go even deeper into the details of my time with Derik, but I will do this for James. I know he loves to be dominated and humiliated so the session this weekend will be more for his benefit. He gave me a special gift last night so I in return want to give him a special gift this weekend.

Saturday, August 23, 2014

Teasing hubby as I head out on my vacation


I have to make this short but wanted to share what I did this morning. As I write this, James is packing up my car so I can head out on my mini vacation. I am leaving in less than an hour. I am meeting Derik at his DC hotel where we will be spending the night, than we head to upstate New York early tomorrow for 4 days and 3 nights. I’ll be home late Wednesday night.  

This morning I gave James his looooong list of chores I expect to be completed when I get back, but I gave him the list in style. I asked him if he wanted to see me in the new outfit I had bought to wear for Derik. He of course begged to see me in it, hoping I might let him touch me. It is lingerie, sexy lime green, see-thru lace bra and panties with matching garter belt and stockings. I even bought a pair of lime green high heel shoes to go with the outfit.  

I came out of the bathroom and James’ tongue was practically hanging out of his mouth. He immediately dropped to his knees, thinking he was going to get to worship my body. No dice! I ordered him back on his feet and told him to sit on the edge of the bed with his hands to his side. He could look but couldn’t touch. I posed for him seductively, teasing him how the first man who would get to touch me in this outfit would be Derik, probably tonight, right before he fucks me.  

Then I reached for the sheet of paper I had prepared and handed it to James. It was his long list of chores. I could tell he wasn’t too thrilled because it leaves him no time for anything else while I am gone. He will have to slave away to get all of them done, plus he has to work at his job Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. No time to watch television or play around on the computer. I teased him and told him to be thinking of me, his lovely wife, having hot sex and being wined and dined by Derik while he, my loyal hubby, is cleaning my house, doing my laundry, tending to my yard and completing each and every item on his hubby-do list, all the while locked away in chastity, unable to touch himself.

And with that, I walked back into the bathroom and removed my outfit and neatly folded it and packed it away for my trip. James looked at me with those disappointed eyes, but I know he wouldn’t have it any other way. And neither would I. 

 

Saturday, August 16, 2014

Hubby gets spanked in front of my girlfriend


I know I haven’t posted much lately but its summer time and I’ve been out having fun. I try not to neglect hubby but there really hasn’t been much time for D&S play. Thinking of having fun, Derik and I are going away next weekend for a 5 day trip. James will be neglected again but I plan on leaving him a long list of chores to keep him occupied. I don’t think he is all too happy about me taking another vacation with Derik but that is the life of a cuckold. I plan on having a session or two with him before my trip to make sure he is in the proper mind space. Being dominated always helps James to view my vacations with other men in a more erotic light. If I approach it the correct way, my time with Derik is just a long D&S session for James. For me it is a whole lot more than that but I am mindful of hubby and his needs. 

Last night was a good start. I’ve been going out with my friend Amanda and I’ve shared with her bits and pieces of my lifestyle with James. I even told her that I had a “male friend” who I was going away with on a vacation. I’ve humiliated James in front of her a couple of times but I’ve wanted to do more. It’s a fine line to walk. I know she is very curious and intrigued but she is like that timid animal that if not approached correctly, it would be easy to scare her off. Finally I got her to agree to watch me spank James, as long as it wasn’t anything sexual. No nudity.  

So last night after we got back from our night out, Amanda and I relaxed in my living room while James served us a late night snack. I prepared hubby the night before, telling him of my plans, not for his benefit but for Amanda’s. I wanted it to go smoothly. James was very excited, I could tell by the bulge of his swollen balls in the tight shorts he was wearing as he served us.  

Finally the time was right. I ordered James to fetch my leather paddle from my bedroom. He was wearing a white tee-shirt and tight navy shorts. I had him hand me the paddle, remove his shorts and lay across my lap. He was still wearing black underwear. I’m not sure if Amanda noticed his chastity device or not. The dark underwear covers it pretty good. I was totally clothed, wearing blue jeans. I spread my legs and pulled the CB6000 between my jeans covered thighs then closed them tightly.  

I started by spanking his underwear covered ass, just as a warmup and to keep things light for Amanda. I didn’t include her, didn’t talk to her while I spanked James but I kept looking over at her to make sure she was okay with the scene. She was watching very intently. Her body language told me she was a little uncomfortable but definitely fascinated by what she was witnessing. 

I decided to be a little bolder so I hiked hubby’s underwear into the crack of his ass, exposing his cute butt cheeks. I began to spank him harder while I scolded him. I added some humiliated by informing him that I had a long list of chores I expected him to do while I went away with Derik. I continued to spank him harder and harder and James began to become most penitent, agreeing to be a good hubby and doing what he was told. James seemed to be extra humiliated with Amanda there watching him in such a vulnerable state.  

Normally, if Amanda wasn’t there, I would have injected some cuckolding talk into the conversation while I was dishing out his spanking, teasing hubby about all the great sex I would be having with my lover. Perhaps I should have because the last time Amanda seemed to enjoy me teasing him about other men flirting with me. However, I didn’t want to go there this time out of concern it would be too much. All Amanda knows about Derik is that we are close friends. I figure if she wants to know about my sex life, she will ask me, and if she does I will definitely tell her the truth. But I don’t want to push it unless she inquires. 

I ended his spanking by having hubby count out the final 10. His ass was a nice bright shade of pink with some red. It wasn’t the hardest spanking he’s received, not even close, but it was more than I had planned. I ordered him to put his shorts on and go clean up the kitchen. 

I’m not sure how Amanda felt about it. She is a girl of few words anyways and she didn’t offer much feedback. The only thing she said was “does he like being spanked like that?” Which I assured her he does. Amanda seems to be intrigued with dominating a man but she definitely always comes back to making sure James is happy in this arrangement. That shows she has a good heart, yet I sense there is a budding Domme wanting to come out.   

She didn’t leave right away, so that’s a good sign. She stayed and we watched a little television. James refilled our drinks once but he spent the rest of the time in the kitchen. Amanda eventually left. It will be interesting to see what she says to me the next time we get together, after last night has a chance to sink in. Baby steps, but if nothing else, last night allowed me to have a much overdue D&S session with hubby. That will help to set the stage for next weekend when I go away. I want to have at least one more session with him between now and Friday. 
 

Sunday, August 3, 2014

The art of ball slapping


I finally have something new to share. Yesterday I had a surprise visitor, my dominant girlfriend Ginger. I hadn’t seen Ginger since last February but she and her hubby were passing by our area on their way to visiting relatives. She called me about 30 miles out and asked if we’d be home. They couldn’t stay too long but we ended up having a marvelous time.  

The only downer was that James had her hubby look at the Dream Lover 2000 to see if he could get the technology working again. It still works with the remote but the mobile feature hasn’t been working so I can’t use it remotely over the internet. I’ve wanted to take a trip to see Ginger so her hubby could look at it but we haven’t been able to make it down to visit her in the DC area.  So yesterday was the first chance. He tried his best but to no avail. Oh well, at least the hand remote still works for now. Perhaps we’ll get a new one later on because I really like the mobile capabilities and I understand they have a new and improved mobile app for the newer Dream Lovers.  

While the boys were playing around with the Dream Lover, Ginger and I got to catch up. Her lifestyle is about the same. She is still dating Dante and her cuckolded hubby still cleans her house and Dante’s apartment, which I just find to be fascinating. It has to be beyond humiliating for a man to be not only his wife’s sissy maid and clean her house but to also have to clean the home of the man who is fucking his wife. Now that’s humiliation.    

The only real new development according to Ginger is that she attended a demonstration by a DC area Dominatrix on the art of ball slapping. Last summer I engaged in ball slapping/ball spanking with my hubby during a session but I’ve been a little hesitant to engage in it again due to how his balls bruised and were badly swollen for a few days. I have slapped his balls a little here and there during some of our play sessions but nothing as severe as what I did last summer.   

When I shared this with Ginger, she enthusiastically volunteered to demonstrate what she had learned so she could pass her new knowledge on to me. Using her hubby as the subject of the demonstration, she borrowed my riding crop and showed me how to properly slap a man’s balls so that it is very painful but greatly cuts down on the chance for injury. Her hubby is pierced and wears a custom made Lori permanent chastity device. However, his balls are exposed and easily accessible. The bottom ring of the chastity device almost works like a cock ring, which makes ball slapping all the more painful.  

He removed his clothes and put his hands behind his back as he stood before Ginger. She took my short handle riding crop and placed the crop between his legs and brought it upward with the flick of her wrist, lightly slapping his balls with the leather tip. She rotated between left testicle and right testicle, never hitting him hard but the repetition of the light slaps from the crop made the pain build slowly and before long he was squirming and doubling over in pain. His balls became engorged and turned a light shade of purple as she continued with the ball slapping. She never slapped him hard and she never increased the force of the slaps but the repetition of light blows took its toll on him. A few times he fell to his knees from the pain but she ordered him to stand back up again and resume the positon, which he did. She slapped his balls with the crop for I’d say a good ten minutes in total before she stopped and when she was done she allowed me to examine them. There were a few minor bruises but no deep bruises and no broken blood vessels. That is important because prior to learning the proper technique, Ginger admitted that she broke a vessel one time from busting her hubby’s balls and as a result he had a very bad and large bruise that didn’t go away for weeks. So you have to be very careful, even when you use the proper technique. 

Naturally she wanted me to try it on my hubby. James was apprehensive, I could tell, but he undressed and put his hands behind his back. He was wearing the CB6000 with his balls exposed, the plastic ring around the base of his balls working just like a cock ring in that it squeezes his balls tightly if they swell from sexual arousal. Ginger guided my hand for the initial ball slap with the crop. We went a little too hard as James jumped. I was afraid he might move around too much and get injured so I suggested we go down and do it in the confinement room where I could restrain him to the wall. So we all descended the stairs to the basement and I placed James in his wrist and ankle cuffs and locked them to the hooks in the wall. Only I could fit in there fully with James but Ginger was able to stand in the doorway and watch as she instructed me on how to do it correctly.  

It really is an art form. I placed the tip of the crop a few inches below his balls in the open space of his spread legs and in an upward motion I gave a quick curl of my wrist, holding my arm perfectly still. The tip of the crop struck his balls, not too hard, and at first I thought it might be too light because James hardly moved. No wincing, no nothing. But Ginger encouraged me to continue to do it lightly and give it time. She was right as after about a minute or two of lightly slapping his balls, James began to jerk his body from the pain. The first few flicks of my wrist I had trouble controlling where the crop would strike his balls but after a few more tries, I got quite good at aiming and slapping the desired spots, rotating between his left and right testicles. I keep flicking my wrist repeatedly, holding my arm still the entire time and I had James groaning and eventually wailing. The wrist and ankle cuffs prevented him from bucking over or falling to his knees like what we saw from Ginger’s hubby.  

I kept at it for about five minutes, James’ eyes were watering as his body tried to twist to escape but to no avail thanks to the bondage. Ginger heaped praise on me, telling me that I was doing it perfectly. When I finally stopped, hubby was actually whimpering a little.  I untied him and had him step into the light of the basement so we could examine his balls, they were puffy and red but no bruises. It was an intense and painful experience for him but he was no worse for the wear.  

I prepared two ice packs for the boys to assist them as their ball sacs began to shrink back to normal size. I invited Ginger to stay for dinner but they had to get going. She encouraged me to come down to see her real soon. I just might have to take her up on that. I always learn new things from Ginger and yesterday I learned the art of ball slapping.