Sunday, July 13, 2014

More verbal humiliation for hubby in front of my girlfriend

You may recall that last month I verbally humiliated James in front of my girlfriend in a purely spontaneous moment. Well Friday night Amanda and I went out again, doing dinner and going to hear a band at an outside concert, and during our most pleasant night, Amanda asked me about James and I could tell she wanted to discuss something in particular but was hesitant. So after the concert, which ended around 10, we went back to her car so we could talk in private and with some probing I was able to get Amanda to open up. She admitted that she has been thinking a lot about the night I verbally dressed James down in front of her and she has been curious about it.  

I reiterated to her what I had told her that night, how James enjoys being bossed around and humiliated by me, especially if I “tease” him about me picking up other men. I didn’t want to get too detailed else I might freak her out. I need to ease her into things so I just told her my interaction with James that night was kind of a fantasy we engage in, a way to spice up our bedroom life. But I did tell her it is real in the sense that I am the dominant partner in the marriage. Amanda understands this as she has seen my dominant personality with other people, including her. Amanda has told me before that I am too bossy and opinionated with people.  

As we continued our conversation, I picked up that Amanda was more than just intrigued with how I humiliated James that night, she was excited by it. She didn’t come out and admit it but I’ve been around this lifestyle long enough to tell when people are turned on or turned off by femdom. Amanda would not have brought it up again if she were turned off by it.  

It was now almost 11:00 and I asked Amanda if she would like to watch me humiliate James some more. She played it coy, acting like she didn’t want to but it didn’t take much persuasion on my part to get her to agree. So I called James to make sure he was still up and I told him not to go to bed, that Amanda and I were coming to the house and I needed him to fix us and serve us some refreshments. I also told him, with Amanda listening to the entire conversation as I had James on speaker, that he was to go and put on a pair of my panties and wear them under his clothes.  

As we pulled into the driveway, Amanda got cold feet. She said she changed her mind and needed to get going. I told her that James would be very disappointed if she didn’t come in and at least have some of the snacks he prepared. I knew Amanda was going to need a push but her late resistance told me I needed to tread carefully else I might scare her off. As we were driving to the house, my mind had been racing to all kinds of things I might do, like perhaps having James remove his pants and show Amanda his panties and his chastity device. But her display of cold feet as we pulled into the driveway told me that would be too much, too fast. Therefore, I decided to keep it to verbal humiliation. 

James served us vegetables and dip along with chips and salsa. He has come a long ways as the tray was well prepared and very decorative, the carrot sticks and celery making a colorful circle around the cups of French onion dip and salsa, the chips making the outer perimeter around the veggies. He got me a beer and Amanda a glass of Sprite. He sat the tray on the coffee table and began to exit toward the kitchen when I told him I wanted him to join us but as he attempted to sit on the couch, I told him to kneel before me and put his head to the floor. He hesitated, looking at Amanda but then he slowly obeyed my command as he kneeled. I placed my feet on his back and used him as my footstool as Amanda and I talked and enjoyed the refreshments. I totally ignored James as if he wasn’t there. Amanda kept looking at him, not sure what to make of all of this.  

As we were talking, I made sure to mention some of the cute guys we saw at the concert. To my surprise and absolute delight, Amanda jumped right in and talked about the two guys who bought us drinks and especially the guy who asked me for my number (all true). I teased how I might give him a call and go out with him (not true), how I noticed the bulge in his pants (not true), and how it was obvious that he wanted to get me in bed (probably true). Amanda suggested that perhaps we could double date with them. It was at this point that I addressed my husband for the first time since he had become my footstool, 

“Is that okay with you, my dear husband, if Amanda and I go out on a double date next weekend?”  

He grunted that it was. 

“Not that you have any say in the matter. I mean look at you, down there, debasing yourself in front of my friend, wearing my panties under your pants, listening to your wife making plans to date other men, what kind of a man are you anyway?” 

James didn’t say a word so I just continued on, verbally humiliating him about what a pussy-whipped, emasculated husband he had become. 

“Amanda was telling me tonight how she couldn’t get over how I boss you around and how you just take it. Isn’t that right Amanda?” 

She also got very quiet but finally she whispered “Yes, Yes I did”. 

I could tell I had made her uncomfortable so I didn’t ask her any more questions, I just continued to humiliate James. 

“James, Amanda has to get going, so after she leaves I want you to put this refreshment tray away and clean up the kitchen before you go to bed. Do you have your list of chores I expect you to do for the weekend?” 

James grunted out that he had. 

“Tell them to me, from memory, what are you going to be doing this weekend while I go shopping tomorrow.” 

James hesitated a little too long so I gave him a nudge with my feet. Then he told us how we would be doing the dusting, vacuuming, laundry and cutting the lawn.  

“Very good, and if you don’t do an excellent job, and I mean A+, you will be punished. But you like to be punished, don’t you husband of mine? You have a bit of a Mommy thing going, don’t you, wanting your wife to punish you when you are naughty.” 

James’ face turned red when I mentioned the punishment and the Mommy thing.  

“Look Amanda, he is embarrassed. See how easy it is to embarrass him. But it’s all true you know, he likes to be punished.”  

I said some more things, like how I can go out with whomever I want, when I want. How I am free to sleep with other men, if I so choose but he must remain totally loyal, devoted and monogamous to me. James acknowledged all of his by nodding his head up and down.  

Although she didn’t say much, I could tell Amanda enjoyed watching, especially when I humiliate him about me dating other men. I couldn’t  quite read her when I was humiliating James about his chores and possible punishment but Amanda seems to get a real kick watching me humiliate James about my active social life. Go figure!  Who would have thought that conservative Amanda would harbor cuckolding fantasies? I wonder how she would respond if she knew the truth about me and Derik? I just might let her in on that. Maybe not right away because I have to be careful. I have to be certain I can trust her with those kinds of secrets. Fantasy talk is one thing, reality based femdom is another. 

Finally, the show was over. Amanda got up and left and I retired to bed. I originally told James to join me in the bedroom when he was done with his duties in the kitchen but once I hit the mattress, I was out. James came in and woke me by climbing into bed, thinking he was going to be allowed to orally service me, but I sent him away. I wanted to sleep. It happens. 

Yesterday, James asked me if I thought we could bring Amanda more into our femdom play. Obviously he thinks I have some kind of a plan when it comes to Amanda, but I really don’t. I hope she continues to ask questions. I would love to see her blossom into a Domme but I have no plans right now to have her watch me discipline or dominate James outside of humiliation. Maybe in the future but I know from experience to take these things very slow.


Sunday, July 6, 2014

The correlation between male endowment and humiliation play

I’ve gotten quite a few e-mails regarding my last post. One e-mail wanted to know more of the details on how exactly I dominated and verbally humiliated James after Derik left the hotel room. Perhaps I should have elaborated on that a little more than I did but my post was already longer than I had planned. Besides, readers of my blog can always go back and read some of my past entries that involve humiliation play to get an idea of how I go about it, the kinds of things I say, the buttons I like to push, etc.  

In order for humiliation play to work it has to be a two way street. Yes, I want to humiliate James in a way that turns me on but I also want to do it in a way that turns him on. Over the years I have learned which buttons to push in order to turn his embarrassment and humiliation into sexual arousal. James would be the first to admit that he was embarrassed and humiliated as he watched me performing an intimate act on Derik. He confessed to me that it was hard to watch at times and he also felt some jealousy. After all, it has been ages since he has last experienced what I did with Derik. And if I have my way, he will never experience the pleasurable sensation of a woman’s mouth on his penis ever again. I can guarantee you he will never again experience me doing that to him.  

So to give you a few additional details about last Monday, after Derik left the room I had James take off his clothes and lay down across the bed. I gave him a warm-up whipping with the flogger before switching to the riding crop. But it was a mild whipping, nothing too harsh. For one thing, I don’t like to whip a man hard in a hotel room because I am always afraid someone in the next room might hear it. Secondly, I wasn’t in the mood to whip hubby too hard. The whipping was more about what it represented. Derik gets an intimate BJ. Hubby gets the whip and the strap-on. 

And thinking of the strap-on, that is where the verbal humiliation comes into play. I put the harness around my waist and as I was lubing the dildo and hubby’s anus, I began to taunt him how much bigger Derik’s “cock” is than his and how much I enjoy sucking a “real man’s dick”. Those are the kind of buttons that I press to get hubby aroused. Watching me with Derik was not easy for James but having me humiliate him about it is what turns him on. I’ve learned these little sayings over the years, the sayings that excite my James.

To be honest, he has an adequate penis. I was never disappointed in his penis prior to this lifestyle. Granted he doesn’t measure up to Derik or to some of the other men I’ve been with but I was never a size Queen. All things being equal, I prefer a bigger cock, I think any woman who is honest would admit that, but for most women it is not the end all. Men are far more obsessed with measuring themselves against themselves. I think us dominant women simply use men’s insecurities about penis size as a weapon.  

James loves it when I tell him that he doesn’t measure up. I don’t know where that comes from. I asked him once if a woman ever said that to him in his past and he said “No”. So why does he want to be humiliated like this? Maybe it has to do with porn. A lot of men watching porn are seeing guys with bigger packages fucking women so they assume that their smaller packages can never please a woman. I don’t know but it is prevalent in femdom. A lot of submissive men like to be humiliated about having smaller cocks, whether it is true or not.  

Derik is bigger and thicker than James, that is the truth, and that is why I wanted James to watch. I had shown him pictures of Derik’s cock before, snapping photos of it with my cellphone, but I knew it would really humiliate him if he saw it in person. Now that he has, I can forever use that in our playtime. Now when I tell James that he doesn’t measure up to Derik, he has the visual forever in his mind. It presses those old buttons while adding a new button at the same time.  

So while I was taking James with my strap-on, I verbally humiliated him about how he doesn’t measure up. I made him confess to me how he felt when he watched me pleasuring Derik. James searched for the right words and the strap-on brought out more of his submission. He was very vulnerable and that is when he confessed to me that he felt unworthy of me and inadequate as a man.  

Is he inadequate as a man? Of course not! He is a lovely man and very adequate on many levels. But for whatever reason he wants to feel inadequate sexually. He wants to feel unworthy of me. And furthermore he NEEDS to feel inadequate and unworthy. That is his sexuality. I used to try to figure it out but it is pretty much a futile endeavor. It is like asking a man why he is gay or why he likes women. James is what he is and there are thousands and thousands of other men just like him out there. Cuckolding sites are popular because a lot of men are turned on by the concept of their wives being with a better endowed man.  

So yes I verbally humiliated my hubby as I took him with my strap-on and I’ve been teasing him about last Monday all week long. I love to come up from behind him and reach around and grab his cock cage, teasing him how he is locked up because he can’t please me the way Derik and other men can. Whenever I do this, James gets very turned on. We both do. It never fails.  

Saturday, July 5, 2014

Cuckold humiliation: making hubby watch

I am a little hesitant about posting this but I feel it is in an important development in our femdom marriage. I am going to keep this as short and sweet as possible because it involves Derik and my sex life with him. My blog is about femdom and how James and I practice femdom in our marriage. I am uncomfortable sharing what I do and don’t do in the sack with a lover. Believe it or not, I am rather modest when it comes to those things. I have never been one to talk “details” with girlfriends when it comes to sex. Even with Ginger, who loves to give “details” about her sex life with Dante, I try to keep things to femdom and how it relates to what I do and don’t do with my husband. I might tell her or someone else that I “got laid” or “we had great sex” or if I am feeling extra naughty I might say “I got fucked” but I rarely give details. However, to do this post justice I have to give a few intimate details. So here it goes.  

One of my fantasies lately is to have James watch me with Derik, at least once. I wanted to do this not so much for the eroticism but for the femdom. James is even more private about sex than I am. If I was to make him talk about sex in front of other people I can guarantee you his face would turn red. And although he has fantasies of his own, when push comes to shove he would rather not participate in anything sexual that involves anyone other than me. In fact, when we were active in ClubFEM and I would dominate James in front of the group, he was always uneasy about it. He would rather sit back and watch others “play”. He likes to “play” only if it is me and him and only if it is in private. Even when we used to meet and play with other couples, James was more “voyeur” whereas I was more “exhibitionist”. I am a bit of a ham when it comes to femdom and public play. It is only when things turn overtly sexual that I become modest.  

Those that read my blog know that James is a cuckold. However, we are different than most couples that practice cuckolding in that we have never been into scenes where the husband is forced to watch his wife with her lover. For the most part I have protected James from this because I know it would make him uncomfortable. On the other hand, James likes it when I humiliate him. He gets turned on by humiliation play and the appeal of cuckolding to him is the humiliation. But he prefers to be humiliated by me sharing the “details” with him in private, within our own private playtime. He is not interested in being humiliated in front of a lover.  

However, that is one of my fantasies so last weekend when I was away with Derik, having great sex while hubby was home doing chores, I felt Derik out about having James watch us one time. He was dead set against it therefore I decided to find a compromise. I asked him if he would be against allowing James to watch as I gave him a BJ (yes, I like to perform this sex act on a well-endowed lover). Derik was against the idea at first but I kept at it and finally got him to agree.  

The next problem to overcome was when and where? Derik was not going to come all the way to our house and I couldn’t have James join us on our trip, as the weekend was almost over by the time Derik agreed. Derik was flying out of BWI to head back west on Monday but he had a late flight. That gave me an idea.  

I called James and told him to take off on Monday and get a room at a hotel near BWI. I told him I had a surprise for him. James knew Derik was flying out on Monday so he naturally assumed that I wanted to use the room to dominate him once Derik was gone. He was half right. I told James to bring one of my floggers, my short handle riding crop and my strap-on. 

Here is where I will skip most the intimate details and stick to the femdom. Derik and I met James at the hotel and James was totally embarrassed. Derik stayed in the lobby while James and I went to the room. I needed a few minutes to get James in the proper frame of mind. Inside the room, I told James that I wanted to engage in some humiliation play with him and I “commanded” him to obey my every order else the humiliation would become much worse, and not in a good way. To assist in the process, I undressed down to bra and panties and ordered James to worship my body by planting kisses all over me, starting at my feet and working up to my ass. As he was kissing my feet, legs and ass, I told him about all the great sex I had with Derik over the weekend.  James got an immediate erection.  

Once I had hubby prepped, I commanded that he sit in the chair closest to the bed and he was not to move or say another word unless I gave him permission. I then called Derik and had him come to the room. We didn’t have a lot of time so I got right into it. I kissed Derik and undressed him down to his underwear. I took his hands and placed them on my bra and allowed Derik to fondle me in front of my husband. I pulled my breasts out of my bra and Derik sucked my nipples.  

I slid his underwear down and pushed him onto the bed. I gave him a long, slow and very intimate BJ. Several times I stopped to look at my hubby. The first time he was watching, the second time I glanced at him he was looking away. I snapped at him and ordered him to keep his eyes fixed on what I was doing. I didn’t necessarily want to humiliate him like that in front of Derik (he still doesn’t know much about our femdom marriage so he had to be shocked with how I spoke to my hubby in that moment). James kept his eyes on me as I finished the BJ, ending it by giving Derik an explosive orgasm with a hand-job (I never allow a man to climax in my mouth). 

I fetched a towel and wiped him off but Derik was quick to jump and head into the bathroom. As he was in there, I went over to hubby and gave him a long, deep and passionate kiss so he could taste Derik. I could tell James was deeply humiliated.

Derik came out of the bathroom, gave me a kiss and said he had to get running. It was obvious that Derik was also embarrassed with James being there. He couldn’t wait to get out of that hotel room. Once he left, it was time to dominate James. I put the flogger, crop and strap-on to good use, verbally humiliating James the entire time, making him share his thoughts on how he felt watching me giving my well-endowed lover a BJ. James started out slowly, searching for the right words but he eventually was overwhelmed with his submissiveness and he confessed to me that he felt inadequate as a man compared to Derik and as such, he was unworthy of me. That’s what I wanted to hear, not that I view him that way, but I wanted him to view himself that way. His confession got me very excited and we finished our playtime with James worshipping my body and licking me to orgasm. 

After a brief nap, we went to dinner before checking out of the hotel and driving home (we both had to work Tuesday morning). The results of humiliating hubby like that have definitely been measurable. He has been more submissive and eager to please this week. He even brought flowers and 4th of July cupcakes home Thursday night. And he has been most affectionate, giving me a wonderful massage the other night.  I think he is ready to watch me “fuck” another man but I don’t believe I will ever get Derik to agree to it. The act is not what’s important. What is important is having James willing to please me, no matter what I require of him.

Monday, June 23, 2014

Hubby’s denial period ends with game of discipline

Saturday night I decided to allow hubby sexual release since he had been denied since April 18 and was on the verge of going stark raving mad. This past week he has shown all the signs of reaching his body’s limit: irritable, moody, leaking pre-cum, severe case of blue balls, discomfort. So I knew it was time but I had a busy week therefore hubby had to wait until Saturday. He survived which just proves a man can go longer than he thinks he can.
I was searching for a clever way to give him his release but was coming up empty. I just wasn’t in a creative mode this past weekend. But as I was skimming through some of my past blog entries, I came across one from August 2011. It was when hubby and I played a discipline game that I had found on a video clip. The game goes like this: I lay out 5 implements of punishment and hubby has to choose the order in which I use the implements of discipline on him.

The first one he would receive 20, the next 16, the next 12, the next 8 and the last 4 very hard ones. We were just getting back into the swing of things in 2011 so those numbers seemed low to me. Therefore I decided to upgrade the game. The first one he would receive 30, the next 25, the next 20, the next 10 and the last 5 very hard ones. 

Back in 2011 when we played this game the 5 implements were a riding crop, a tawse, a leather strap, a Spencer paddle and a wooden cane. This time I chose: riding crop, leather paddle, Spencer paddle, Delrin cane (the black one with the wooden handle) and wooden cane.

As I mentioned last time, having him choose his order of punishment really plays with his mind. I dressed in leather bra and leather thong (too warm for boots or gloves) and to get him in the mood I allowed him to lick my leather thong for about 3 minutes and plant kisses on my ass. Then I removed his chastity device and had him lay face down across my bed. He chose to begin with the leather paddle. I ordered him to count them out. I must have been hitting him harder than he expected because he was squirming by the time I reached 30. In fact, he was squirming so much that I decide to restrain him for the rest of the game. I put wrist and ankle cuffs on him and tied him to the posts on my bed. I told him that he could stop the game at any time but if he did, he would not get an orgasm for two more weeks. 

Next he chose the riding crop and I dished out 25 moderate blows to his reddened ass and the meaty part of the back of his legs. Hubby twisted his body from the pain but after I was done with the riding crop he began to slip into subspace. I took my soft fur glove and soothed his ass for a couple of minutes before continuing with the game.

James was relaxed from my mini-massage with the soft glove but the game had to continue. He chose the Spencer paddle. I decided to go hard and fast with the Spencer paddle.

That pretty much snapped James out of subspace as he had difficulty counting them out. Now his ass had bruises. I teased him, 

“This is the price for an orgasm. I think it’s more than fair, don’t you?” 

James next chose the wooden cane. He dreads the cane, be it wooden or Delrin. I tormented him by taking the cane and swishing it through the air, letting him anticipate what was about to happen. I slowly drew back my hand and brought the cane across his ass. James winced and stiffened his body. He endured 10 of these, although they were moderate. I was waiting for the last implement to go hard. Still, he had a few welts from the wooden cane. I gave him a breather, allowing him about 5 minutes to recover. I took the soft glove and soothed his bottom some more.  

Now would come the hard part. Five final blows with the Delrin cane. I reminded hubby that he could stop the game but the cost would be no orgasm. He had come this far so I knew he would endure the final 5.  I tapped the cane on his buttocks, drew it back and let it fly. James gave out a yell before he composed himself enough to count out “One!” 

I teased him, “Four more if you want that precious orgasm!” 

I drew the cane back and went hard again. “Two”, he screamed. I repeated this three more times and hubby endured them all. His ass was all marked up with red marks, bruises and some nasty welts. That fine line between domination and abuse was a little blurred if you saw his ass. But hey, it was only a game.  

Hubby had earned his orgasm but I was probably more aroused than he was. His cock had gone completely limp whereas my pussy was very wet. Therefore, after I untied him from the bed, I had James go down on me before he would be permitted his orgasm. Licking my pussy brought James’s passion back to life in a hurry. I made him stay there until he gave me multiple orgasms. James was twisting again, only this time not from being whipped but he was trying to hold back his own orgasm as his cock was rubbing against the mattress. I noticed this so I decided that is how I should end his denial. 

“Go ahead, James, you have my permission. Climax while you’re eating my pussy.” 

My words were all it took. James came all over the edge of the mattress. But he continued to lick me until I had one final orgasm. When he was done, his cock was still rock hard. He stood before me, breathing heavy with an erect penis. I was all relaxed from my orgasms and I figured he had earned another one.  

“Go ahead, James, jerk off for me. Stroke it and cum again.” 

I watched and it took him longer than I expected but I could tell he was on the edge so after a couple of minutes I gave him assistance by barking out the command, “DO IT!” And with that, James had his second orgasm in the most primal of male ways, giving himself a hand job as I was being entertained by this spectacle.  

I ordered him to shower, reinstall the chastity device and to come back and strip the bed and wash the sheets. It will be another two months before hubby is allowed another orgasm. On the other hand, next weekend I am going away with Derik for a mini-vacation full of hot sex.

Friday, June 13, 2014

Hubby gets verbally humiliated in front of my girlfriend

Sometimes D&S happens completely spare of the moment, without any planning or preparation. Take last night for example. I was going out to dinner with a girlfriend. She’s the same friend I went out with this past Halloween and we had a wild time but my relationship with her is totally within the vanilla world. She knows very little about the details of my femdom marriage with James. She just thinks I am lucky to be married to such a devoted husband. She also thinks I am a little too flirtatious with other men, seeing how I am happily married.
I don’t get to do much with her these days, mostly due to her busy schedule and the fact that she relocated about 40 miles to the west. We were supposed to go to dinner around 7:00pm last night. I was running late so I had James assist me as I got ready. First, I had him rub tanning lotion on my shoulders and back. Next, I had him assist me with my sundress. I had just bought this dress and was anxious to wear it. The big mistake I made was not turning on the air conditioning. I had ceiling fans on and was comfortable when I showered but as I was struggling to get my dress adjusted properly, I began to get very warm. James turned on the AC but it was too late, once I get hot I do not easily cool down. The problem I was having with the dress was the straps. They did not cover the straps of my bra as they kept sliding to the left. I needed James to pull my dress to the right but it was sticking to my body. I was getting very frustrated and I began to take it out on James. It didn’t help that he had mentioned that my new dress showed off too much cleavage. Reflecting on it now, he said it in a respectful way but since I was frustrated and hot, I didn’t receive it that way. He meant that perhaps it wasn’t the best choice for having dinner with my girlfriend. But I took it as him being worried that it looked too much like a “fuck me” dress and he was jealous and worried because we would be eating out locally. If I were in Vegas, he wouldn’t care, but locally he is still afraid that friends and coworkers will find out what we do behind closed doors.
To make matters worse, just as I was getting frustrated, my girlfriend arrived. James showed her in and offered her a drink. She declined and waited in the living room as James rejoined me in the bedroom. I’m sure she could hear how I was talking to my husband in a not so flattering tone of voice, but I didn’t care. I was being a bit of a bitch, I can admit it now, but I was hot and frustrated and the dress was sticking to my skin and those stupid straps were not right and my husband was not being as helpful as I would have liked. It is times like this that I wish I had a real sissy maid, a man who is an expert at dressing and assisting a woman. James does his best but he is not a natural. He’s too masculine.
So by now I am running late and I am not in the best of moods. James suggested I change dresses but that just made me angrier. I wanted to wear my new dress and I was determined. Finally, I said “screw it, who cares if my bra straps are showing and my boobs are hanging out too much? I’m still wearing it.”
I walk out into the living room and give my girlfriend a hug. She comments on how nice I look but I could tell by the way she was looking at me that she agreed with James when it came to the dress showing off too much cleavage. I didn’t care. Then she told me that a band she liked was playing at a bar and perhaps we could stop in after dinner. I was all for it and I asked my friend if she would drive since I was in the mood to get drunk. I could tell James wasn’t thrilled. He didn’t say anything but he didn’t have to, I could feel the vibe. He was worried someone he knew might be there and would see me in this provocative dress and knowing how I am after a few drinks, he could see me being very flirtatious.
So all of this is happening in my mind at the same time. I’m still hot, I’m flustered from my fight with the dress, I’m mad that we’re running late and I’m ticked at my hubby. I am a powder keg, using all of my willpower so I don’t explode in front of my friend. Then James goes and lights the fuse. He asks me “what time will you be home?” Now in hindsight, he said this innocently but given the mood I was in, I took it the wrong way. So without using judgment or proper discretion, right in front of my girlfriend, I began to verbally humiliate James. I don’t remember exactly what I said but it was along the lines of,
“What difference does it make what time I get home? I’ll be home when I get home. And if I decide to get drunk and flirt with other men, that’s my fucking business. Yes, James, your wife is going out in this sexy dress and I’m sure men will be gawking at my tits. So what? And if I decide to stay out all night, you’re perfectly okay with that, aren’t you?”
James’ eyes got real big and he looked at Amanda and he looked back at me and his face was soooo red. He was deeply embarrassed. But I didn’t care.
“Answer me, James. Are you okay if I want to stay out all night? And if I meet someone I’m attracted to and decide to spent the night with him, you’re okay with that, aren’t you?”
James looked down at the floor but then he looked at me and he consented to what I had just said. I could tell that he was now aroused. His embarrassment was giving way to submission. He wanted more humiliation, I could feel it, but I knew I had already gone too far in front of my friend.
For her part, my girlfriend must have felt sorry for James because she invited him to join us for dinner. That opened the door for me to humiliate James one more time. I spoke up and answered for him.
“He can’t come with us. He has chores to do. James, I want you to clean up the kitchen and do the laundry in the blue hamper in my bedroom. Is that clear?”
James had slipped into submission. He nodded and his face was no longer red. He was excited and he wanted to be dominated. He liked being humiliated in front of my friend, it was obvious. It was kind of cute and pathetic at the same time.
We left and my friend was quiet at first as we drove to the restaurant. I could tell she did not approve of the way I talked to my husband. I had to do something so I apologized to her and then I told her that James likes to be bossed around, that it turns him on. I apologized again for doing that in front of her and I explained that I had lost all discretion because I was frustrated about the dress.
She was cool with it and we ended up having a great night. I didn’t get plastered but I had a few drinks and we went to hear the band, and I was hit on and I flirted and danced but there was nobody there that I was interested in being with. And to my husband’s relief, I didn’t see anyone there that knew us, except for my girlfriend. She asked me a few questions about James and I could tell she was curious. I told her a little, not too much, but enough to crack open the door. If she ever mentions it again, I’ll tell her a little more. I would love to see her embrace more of her dominant side. She needs the confidence and I am more than willing to teach her.
As for James, well hubby was waiting up for me and he was a good boy. He had cleaned the kitchen and done not only the laundry in the blue hamper but also in the other hamper. He had washed, dried and folded my clothes. He greeted me at the door, bowed before me and apologized for upsetting me. I sat down on the couch and I told him to worship my body, beginning by kissing my feet. I told him about the men I flirted with and danced with (embellishing things a little) and how I loved humiliating him in front of Amanda. James was very excited and he worked his way up my body, kissing me all over. Finally I allowed him to remove my dress and we retired to the bedroom. He performed total body worship and licked me to several orgasms. Of course he was denied. You just never know the direction a night might take. A frustrating struggle with a sundress turned into a wonderful D&S session.  

Sunday, June 1, 2014

Sissy-Maid for the day

On the lighter side of femdom, yesterday I decided to do something we do not do enough of, in my opinion. Lately I have had hubby doing lots of yard work and outdoor chores, taking advantage of the nicer weather. He still kept up with his indoor chores, like laundry, vacuuming and dusting. However, the house was in need of a thorough cleaning. The kitchen and bathroom floors needed mopped, tubs needed cleaned, counter-tops and sinks scrubbed, etc. So yesterday I decided he was going to be my maid for the entire day.  
We rarely engage in forced feminization, as that is just not James’ thing. But we had a very exciting forced feminization session back in January, although it was more gender role reversal than plan feminization. I felt the need to spice up James’ housework some so yesterday I decided to feminize him and make him into my sissy-maid for the day.
You may or may not recall that I once had a phone client who was into sissification and he sent me one of his sissy dresses and wigs for me to try on James. It was a cute pink dress with a blonde wig. We played with it a little but in recent years I rarely use this outfit, in fact I had it dry-cleaned and it was hanging in an upstairs closet. I broke it out yesterday and called James into my bedroom. When he walked in, he saw the pink sissy dress and blonde wig lying on the bed. I ordered him to undress and I dressed him in white panties, white stockings, and garter belt and then I assisted him as he put on the pink dress. James’ balls were noticeably full as his erection swelled inside the CB6000. He will not admit it without a little coercion but he likes to be feminized more than he wants to let on. After he was dressed, he sat in my vanity chair and I applied just a small amount of make-up to his face. Then I put on his wig and handed him his list of household chores for the day.
James was a good sport and didn’t complain too much, other than commenting a few times on how hot the dress made him and how he was sweating in it while doing his chores. I cranked up the AC to help him out but I was not about to allow him to take off the dress until all of his chores were done.
While he was doing his chores like a good little maid, I sat on the deck and talked with friends on the phone and I was on the computer some, including writing my blog entry yesterday on my thoughts about the fine line between domination and abuse. Every now and then I summoned James using the remote of the DL 2000 (we still use this device although not as much and we still can’t get it working using the internet or the iphone). The DL2000 gives off intense “love pulses” (an electric slap) to his genitals at the push of a button on the DL2000 remote.
When I summoned my sissy, he had to refill my drink or make me a snack. It was a lovely day. All was going well when a most unexpected event occurred. One of my girlfriends stopped by, unannounced. It was around 5:00pm and James made a beeline to the upstairs so she wouldn’t see him in his pretty pink dress and blonde wig. I called for her to come around back and sit on the deck with me. We visited for a while and then I excused myself briefly to check in on James.
To his credit, he did not take off the dress because I had not given him permission. He was dusting and straightening up upstairs, staying out of sight. I told James that he could take off the dress and wig and wash the make-up off his face. However, I wanted him to keep the panties, stockings and garter-on (they were sticking to his sweaty body) but he was to cover them up with tee-shirt, jeans and shoes. And he was to cook dinner for me and my friend and serve us out on our deck.
I kept the remote to the DL2000 in my pocket and used it a few times, without my friend knowing it. It kept James on his toes as he finished his chores and prepared us dinner, consisting of broiled steak, carrots, corn on the cob and wild rice. He served us dinner and I made him eat with us and visit with my friend over dinner. James was man of few words and I could tell he was a little uneasy, afraid that somehow my friend would figure out what he was wearing under his clothes. She didn’t have a clue and she left shortly after dinner, while James was doing the dishes. She marveled at what a good hubby I have and told me so several times during her visit.
To top the night off right, I had my sissy-maid give me a massage on the massage table, still dressed in lingerie although I had him remove the street clothes, he was in panties, stockings and garter only, still wearing his chastity device and the DL2000 as he gave me a great massage. The poor dear was completely exhausted. I wanted to play with him, perhaps give him a spanking or take with my strap-on, but after the massage I simply wanted to relax on the couch and watch a little television. James hit the shower and retired to bed. A job well done by my sissy maid for the day.

Saturday, May 31, 2014

The fine line between domination and abuse

One area that a Domme has to be very careful about is keeping all D&S play and femdom lifestyle interactions with her subby properly grounded. This isn’t always easy, especially if your sub encourages you to be cruel. For him it is all a part of his fantasy, it is some kind of dark hidden desire within him that wants to be treated harshly by a woman. I don’t mind playing the “Cruel Bitch” from time to time but the key word there is “playing”. That’s not who I am as a person, although a part of me enjoys being a little sadistic with my hubby occasionally. But I am not by nature an abusive person. I love my husband and even when I treat him harshly, I mostly do it for him. It satisfies some unusual need. It brings him pleasure in a perverse way. I’d be lying if I said I understood it all. I do not but that is who he is and what he needs to achieve sexual arousal. And the flip side to this is it provides the woman numerous benefits and perks. It can be a wonderfully satisfying lifestyle for all involved but there must be give and take.
Sometimes I have to pinch myself when I look at my marriage. I have lots of vanilla friends and family members who have rotten marriages and relationships. Some have ended in divorce and others are headed there. These women call me up and tell me of their problems and how lucky I am to have such a good marriage. If only they knew the half of it. After all, I not only have a husband who worships and adores me but he does the majority of the household chores, he submits to me making the decisions, he surrenders his paychecks to me, and he allows me to see other men socially, including having sexual relations with them if I so choose. It really is almost too good to be true.
But as with anything in life, nothing comes free or easy. A man like my husband has special needs. You don’t get the submission without the domination. If I have learned anything it’s that if I neglect dominating him, his enthusiasm for submission wanes. Some women say “Well then he is not a true submissive because a true submissive would submit to you no matter what.” Perhaps in theory but it doesn’t work that way, at least not for us. My husband is a great submissive, very obedient and eager to please. But he is not a robot. He has a soul, a very sweet soul, and he needs to be dominated in order for him to achieve fulfillment in being submissive. If I didn’t “play” with him, meaning if I didn’t dominate him in ways that arouse him sexually, then it wouldn’t be give and take. And if it’s not give and take then what is it? It would be abuse, would it not?
I don’t mean to ramble on here but I think about this from time to time. I’ve met women in this lifestyle who were very abusive to their husbands. It’s not for me to judge because I am sure the husband probably encouraged his wife to be that way but over time the D&S play more or less ceased and it became an abusive lifestyle. I witnessed women treating their hubbies very harshly, slapping them around, kicking them, locking them up in small cramp spaces when they were not needed, and cuckolding them without including them in on the fun. I question whether these women had any feelings at all for their husbands. Perhaps at one time they did but the love seemed to wax cold and all that was left is pure contempt. This one couple we met I could tell the wife disdained her husband. And it wasn’t some public humiliation scene they were engaged in that I misread. It is how their marriage evolved. She talked to him like he was dirt. She had stripped him all of human dignity and he basically existed to make her money and clean her house. If that’s what he wanted, more power to them, but it’s uncomfortable to watch.
He was feminized but she didn’t even bother to make that fun for him. She never dressed him up. He had to do that on his own. The poor guy was trying to make his lot in life exciting, dressing like her maid, wearing a self-installed chastity device, calling his wife names of endearment like “Princess” and “Goddess”. He thought he was being a good submissive, and he was, he was an excellent submissive. However, the poor guy was abused and he had the unhealthy looking whip marks and cigarette burns on his skin to prove it. But more than the physical abuse, he was carrying around the emotional scars. He wasn’t even allowed to look at his wife in the face. She forbade him to even look upon her … ever. If she caught him, she would slap him hard across his face. He always had his head downward and he didn’t look happy. Yet he was the one who contacted us. They wanted to meet other couples so she could show others how she had emasculated and degraded her husband. She thought they had a great femdom marriage. She didn’t like me at all because I refused to treat James that way. She said I was too nice to be a Domme.
I think about this couple, and others like them that I’ve met over the past 16 years, when I am being “cruel” to my hubby and it helps me keep things in balance. James needs this (domination) but he doesn’t need that (abuse) and it takes a wise woman to know the difference. And like I said, that isn’t always easy. It comes with trial and error but above all it comes with maintaining the love within the relationship. If I ever felt disdain for my hubby, I would end the relationship out of fear that it could turn into abuse.
Take the other night for example. I had placed James in the confinement room, bound and all alone in the dark, being punished for neglecting something I had asked him to do for me. He had an excuse but I wanted to teach him (and that is the purpose of punishment, to teach a man) that when life throws up a barrier, the dedicated submissive will still find a way. He will seek to please his Mistress even if the task proves to be difficult. I felt James gave up too easily on the task.
Therefore, he was being punished. After his confinement for several hours in restrictive bondage in an uncomfortable position, I released him and took him to my bedroom. There I administered 90 strikes of corporal punishment with my cane collection, 10 each from each cane, 2 wooden canes and 7 Delrin canes.

When I was done, James’ buttocks were bright red and striped and he was most repentant. Was I being abusive? Perhaps, if you didn’t understand the dynamics of our marriage you would probably come to that conclusion. But I didn’t stop there. I could have put him back in the confinement room for the rest of the night for him to dwell further on his punishment. Instead, I allowed James to worship my body.
When I administered his corporal punishment I was wearing only a silk bathrobe, nothing underneath. I dressed like this because I knew punishing him would more than likely get me aroused (yes, I have come to enjoy dominating my hubby almost as much as he enjoys being dominated, a wonderful byproduct of this lifestyle). After his punishment, I soothed his sore bottom with cool aloe then I had him kneel before me. I disrobed and took his head and placed it against my wet pussy. I sat on the edge of the bed, reclined back on my elbows and allowed him to worship me to orgasm. I could tell James was very excited. I could tell James was in that special place, a place he goes after he has been dominated or humiliated. It is a place where he is at peace and all is right with his world. How could I ever deny him this place? How could I not take him there?
Yes, it is a fine line between domination and abuse. And I would be lying if I said I always stayed on the proper side of that line. I try but there have been times when I have crossed that line but I have recognized it and was quick to get things back in balance. I can play rough at times and he likes that, he needs that, but what matters most is the heart. My heart is in the right place and as long as there is love, a.k.a. loving female authority, I am free to explore the deep, dark caverns of his submissive heart. I am still learning of him, and learning about me. There is a spiritual component to this lifestyle that I do not understand but when we experience it, like the other night, it transcends sex.