Some who find this blog might recognize me from my past FemDom life. I was a phone Mistress for five years and I dabbled a bit in the world of professional Domination. I was also active in a FemDom group for the better part of three years. And I wrote a column for a FemDom e-zine.
Hi everyone. First, let
me thank you for all the kind e-mails I have received. I’m sorry I
haven’t written any of you back but I thank you for understanding why I’ve taken
a sabbatical from blogging. Overall, things have
been rather mundane. But we try to still play on occasion and hubby has
been obedient in doing his chores and tending to my needs, for the most part.
My new corset arrived
and as promised here are a few pictures.
James got very excited
when he saw me in it. I added my thigh high boots and leather opera gloves to
the outfit and needless to say, it led to a most erotic night.
Not sure when I will post again but wanted to share this with you. All the best!
In June 2011, I was
looking for something to motivate me with the femdom lifestyle. I was active in
the lifestyle from 1998 to 2008 but had taken a hiatus from the lifestyle for a
few years. When I decided to give it another go, I needed something to make it
fresh and exciting again. That’s when I decided to write this blog. My purpose
One, I wanted to share
some of the experiences I had with femdom between 1998 and 2008. It was a wild
ride where I went from nervous beginner to the Head Mistress of a femdom group.
Along the way I was a phone Mistress, a pro Domme, and a movie reviewer for a popular
femdom e-zine. I met some fascinating people on this journey and had some interesting
experiences. I figured people would enjoy reading about them.
The second purpose of
this blog was to challenge me. I figured if I wrote about my femdom marriage,
having a blog would push me to make certain I had something to write about. And
it did. This blog was exactly what I needed to expand my horizons and try new
things. It was also wonderful to be able to share my thoughts, struggles and
challenges with others.
But now I feel I need a
break, not from the lifestyle, but from blogging about the lifestyle. Right now
it is just hubby and I, no groups, no other people, just him and I practicing
our lifestyle within our marriage. And that’s how I want it for now. No
pressure to write about what we do or don’t do. I just want to reset things
with him and, like I said in my previous post, focus on the fundamentals.
In my opinion, where I
see our focus over the next months would not make for a great blog and I’m afraid
most of the entries would be redundant. How many times can I write about
spanking hubby with my hairbrush? Or hubby giving me a massage? Or hubby doing
his chores while wearing my panties? It’s fun for us but pretty tame. The thing
is: I am ready for tame in my life. I want to work on my relationship with James
without “would this make for a good blog entry” hanging over my head. I no
longer want to be challenged or motivated. I want to just be, in a relaxed way,
Thanks again for all the
great comments and feedback I’ve received over these past three years. And it
was great to touch base with some old friends who found me through this blog, especially
the people from my ClubFEM days. God Bless you all!
I know I haven’t posted
much lately but its summer time and I’ve been out having fun. I try not to neglect
hubby but there really hasn’t been much time for D&S play. I’ve been going out with my friend Amanda and I’ve shared with her bits
and pieces of my lifestyle with James. I even told her that I had a “male
friend” who I was going away with on a vacation. I’ve humiliated James in front
of her a couple of times but I’ve wanted to do more. It’s a fine line to walk.
I know she is very curious and intrigued but she is like that timid animal that
if not approached correctly, it would be easy to scare her off. Finally I got
her to agree to watch me spank James, as long as it wasn’t anything sexual. No
So last night after we
got back from our night out, Amanda and I relaxed in my living room while James
served us a late night snack. I prepared hubby the night before, telling him of
my plans, not for his benefit but for Amanda’s. I wanted it to go smoothly.
James was very excited, I could tell by the bulge of his swollen balls in the
tight shorts he was wearing as he served us.
Finally the time was
right. I ordered James to fetch my leather paddle from my bedroom. He was
wearing a white tee-shirt and tight navy shorts. I had him hand me the paddle, remove
his shorts and lay across my lap. He was still wearing black underwear. I’m not
sure if Amanda noticed his chastity device or not. The dark underwear covers it
pretty good. I was totally clothed, wearing blue jeans. I spread my legs and
pulled the CB6000 between my jeans covered thighs then closed them tightly.
I started by spanking
his underwear covered ass, just as a warmup and to keep things light for Amanda.
I didn’t include her, didn’t talk to her while I spanked James but I kept
looking over at her to make sure she was okay with the scene. She was watching
very intently. Her body language told me she was a little uncomfortable but definitely
fascinated by what she was witnessing.
I decided to be a little
bolder so I hiked hubby’s underwear into the crack of his ass, exposing his
cute butt cheeks. I began to spank him harder while I scolded him. I added some
humiliated by informing him that I had a long list of chores I expected him to
do while I went away. I continued to spank him harder and harder and
James began to become most penitent, agreeing to be a good hubby and doing what
he was told. James seemed to be extra humiliated with Amanda there watching him
in such a vulnerable state.
I ended his spanking by
having hubby count out the final 10. His ass was a nice bright shade of pink with
some red. It wasn’t the hardest spanking he’s received, not even close, but it
was more than I had planned. I ordered him to put his shorts on and go clean up
I’m not sure how Amanda
felt about it. She is a girl of few words anyways and she didn’t offer much
feedback. The only thing she said was “does he like being spanked like that?”
Which I assured her he does. Amanda seems to be intrigued with dominating a man
but she definitely always comes back to making sure James is happy in this
arrangement. That shows she has a good heart, yet I sense there is a budding
Domme wanting to come out.
She didn’t leave right
away, so that’s a good sign. She stayed and we watched a little television.
James refilled our drinks once but he spent the rest of the time in the
kitchen. Amanda eventually left. It will be interesting to see what she says to
me the next time we get together, after last night has a chance to sink in. Baby
steps, but if nothing else, last night allowed me to have a much overdue
D&S session with hubby.
Sorry I haven’t posted
anything new in a while but my social calendar has kept me busy. In fact, I am
heading to B-more later today and will be spending a few days with my sisters.
James has been a good boy, working hard, doing his chores and making sure my
needs are met. We haven’t “played” in a couple of weeks but I hope to make time
for that later this week.
I have been receiving a lot
of e-mails lately from my readers and as always I appreciate your feedback and
words of encouragement. Just yesterday I received an e-mail from Michelle and
since I used to review FemDom movies, she informed me of a new movie coming
out called “My Mistress”.
It looks most
interesting, kind of the Femdom answer to “Fifty Shades of Grey”, which is also
currently running its movie trailer in various places, only “My Mistress” has
the extra taboo of the male sub being a teenager. Here is the premise of “My
a long hot summer for Charlie Boyd. He’s sixteen and his hormones are
racing. When a tragic family event tumbles Charlie into a world of pain,
a pain so intense he thinks no-one can help, he tries to escape. Desperate and
alone, he meets Maggie, the mysterious woman who lives down the street. She’s a
professional and she specialises in pain. Giving it, exploring it, and sharing
it, all for money.
Charlie insinuates his way into her life and despite herself Maggie can’t stop
from going along with his wishes. However dangerous their relationship may be,
she knows he needs her. She needs him too. As much as she tries to deny
it, she needs his sort of love, because in the part of her life she keeps from
Charlie, she has been judged and found wanting, and is paying the price. Maggie
is drawn to this troubled boy who takes all the pain she can give and uses it
to heal himself. As Charlie heals, he turns that love back onto her, his
hope it plays in a city near here so I can go see it. That might make for a wonderful
femdom night out, taking hubby with me, and maybe Ginger and her hubby could
join us. It would be fun to see the kind of people in the audience. I’m sure a
lot of femdom enthusiasts would be there.
Saturday night I decided
to allow hubby sexual release since he had been denied since April 18 and was
on the verge of going stark raving mad. This past week he has shown all the
signs of reaching his body’s limit: irritable, moody, leaking pre-cum, severe
case of blue balls, discomfort. So I knew it was time but I had a busy week
therefore hubby had to wait until Saturday. He survived which just proves a man
can go longer than he thinks he can.
I was searching for a
clever way to give him his release but was coming up empty. I just wasn’t in a
creative mode this past weekend. But as I was skimming through some of my past
blog entries, I came across one from August 2011. It was when hubby and I
played a discipline game that I had found on a video clip. The game goes like
this: I lay out 5 implements of punishment and hubby has to choose the order in
which I use the implements of discipline on him.
The first one he would
receive 20, the next 16, the next 12, the next 8 and the last 4 very hard ones.
We were just getting back into the swing of things in 2011 so those numbers
seemed low to me. Therefore I decided to upgrade the game. The first one he
would receive 30, the next 25, the next 20, the next 10 and the last 5 very
Back in 2011 when we
played this game the 5 implements were a riding crop, a tawse, a leather
strap, a Spencer paddle and a wooden cane. This time I chose: riding crop,
leather paddle, Spencer paddle, Delrin cane (the black one with the wooden
handle) and wooden cane.
As I mentioned last time, having him choose his order of punishment really plays with his
mind. I dressed in leather bra and leather thong (too warm for boots or gloves)
and to get him in the mood I allowed him to lick my leather thong for about 3
minutes and plant kisses on my ass. Then I removed his chastity device and had
him lay face down across my bed. He chose to begin with the leather paddle. I
ordered him to count them out. I must have been hitting him harder than he
expected because he was squirming by the time I reached 30. In fact, he was
squirming so much that I decide to restrain him for the rest of the game. I put
wrist and ankle cuffs on him and tied him to the posts on my bed. I told him
that he could stop the game at any time but if he did, he would not get an
orgasm for two more weeks.
Next he chose the riding
crop and I dished out 25 moderate blows to his reddened ass and the meaty part
of the back of his legs. Hubby twisted his body from the pain but after I was
done with the riding crop he began to slip into subspace. I took my soft fur
glove and soothed his ass for a couple of minutes before continuing with the
James was relaxed from
my mini-massage with the soft glove but the game had to continue. He chose the
Spencer paddle. I decided to go hard and fast with the Spencer paddle.
pretty much snapped James out of subspace as he had difficulty counting them
out. Now his ass had bruises. I teased him,
“This is the price for
an orgasm. I think it’s more than fair, don’t you?”
James next chose the wooden
cane. He dreads the cane, be it wooden or Delrin. I tormented him by taking the
cane and swishing it through the air, letting him anticipate what was about to happen.
I slowly drew back my hand and brought the cane across his ass. James winced
and stiffened his body. He endured 10 of these, although they were moderate. I
was waiting for the last implement to go hard. Still, he had a few welts from
the wooden cane. I gave him a breather, allowing him about 5 minutes to
recover. I took the soft glove and soothed his bottom some more.
Now would come the hard
part. Five final blows with the Delrin cane. I reminded hubby that he could stop
the game but the cost would be no orgasm. He had come this far so I knew he
would endure the final 5.I tapped the
cane on his buttocks, drew it back and let it fly. James gave out a yell before
he composed himself enough to count out “One!”
I teased him, “Four more
if you want that precious orgasm!”
I drew the cane back and
went hard again. “Two”, he screamed. I repeated this three more times and hubby
endured them all. His ass was all marked up with red marks, bruises and some
nasty welts. That fine line between domination and abuse was a little blurred
if you saw his ass. But hey, it was only a game.
Hubby had earned his
orgasm but I was probably more aroused than he was. His cock had gone
completely limp whereas my pussy was very wet. Therefore, after I untied him
from the bed, I had James go down on me before he would be permitted his
orgasm. Licking my pussy brought James’s passion back to life in a hurry. I
made him stay there until he gave me multiple orgasms. James was twisting
again, only this time not from being whipped but he was trying to hold back his
own orgasm as his cock was rubbing against the mattress. I noticed this so I
decided that is how I should end his denial.
“Go ahead, James, you
have my permission. Climax while you’re eating my pussy.”
My words were all it
took. James came all over the edge of the mattress. But he continued to lick me
until I had one final orgasm. When he was done, his cock was still rock hard. He
stood before me, breathing heavy with an erect penis. I was all relaxed from my
orgasms and I figured he had earned another one.
“Go ahead, James, jerk
off for me. Stroke it and cum again.”
I watched and it took
him longer than I expected but I could tell he was on the edge so after a
couple of minutes I gave him assistance by barking out the command, “DO IT!”
And with that, James had his second orgasm in the most primal of male ways,
giving himself a hand job as I was being entertained by this spectacle.
I ordered him to shower,
reinstall the chastity device and to come back and strip the bed and wash the
sheets. It will be another two months before hubby is allowed another orgasm.
Sometimes D&S happens completely spare of
the moment, without any planning or preparation. Take last night for example. I
was going out to dinner with a girlfriend. She’s the same friend I went out with
this past Halloween and we had a wild time but my relationship with her is
totally within the vanilla world. She knows very little about the details of my
femdom marriage with James. She just thinks I am lucky to be married to such a
devoted husband. She also thinks I am a little too flirtatious with other men,
seeing how I am happily married.
I don’t get to do much with her these days,
mostly due to her busy schedule and the fact that she relocated about 40 miles
to the west. We were supposed to go to dinner around 7:00pm last night. I was
running late so I had James assist me as I got ready. First, I had him rub
tanning lotion on my shoulders and back. Next, I had him assist me with my
sundress. I had just bought this dress and was anxious to wear it. The big
mistake I made was not turning on the air conditioning. I had ceiling fans on
and was comfortable when I showered but as I was struggling to get my dress
adjusted properly, I began to get very warm. James turned on the AC but it was
too late, once I get hot I do not easily cool down. The problem I was having
with the dress was the straps. They did not cover the straps of my bra as they
kept sliding to the left. I needed James to pull my dress to the right but it
was sticking to my body. I was getting very frustrated and I began to take it
out on James. It didn’t help that he had mentioned that my new dress showed off
too much cleavage. Reflecting on it now, he said it in a respectful way but since
I was frustrated and hot, I didn’t receive it that way. He meant that perhaps
it wasn’t the best choice for having dinner with my girlfriend. But I took it
as him being worried that it looked too much like a “fuck me” dress and he was
jealous and worried because we would be eating out locally. If I were in Vegas,
he wouldn’t care, but locally he is still afraid that friends and coworkers
will find out what we do behind closed doors.
To make matters worse, just as I was getting
frustrated, my girlfriend arrived. James showed her in and offered her a drink.
She declined and waited in the living room as James rejoined me in the bedroom.
I’m sure she could hear how I was talking to my husband in a not so flattering tone
of voice, but I didn’t care. I was being a bit of a bitch, I can admit it now,
but I was hot and frustrated and the dress was sticking to my skin and those
stupid straps were not right and my husband was not being as helpful as I would
have liked. It is times like this that I wish I had a real sissy maid, a man
who is an expert at dressing and assisting a woman. James does his best but he
is not a natural. He’s too masculine.
So by now I am running late and I am not in
the best of moods. James suggested I change dresses but that just made me angrier.
I wanted to wear my new dress and I was determined. Finally, I said “screw it,
who cares if my bra straps are showing and my boobs are hanging out too much? I’m
still wearing it.”
I walk out into the living room and give my
girlfriend a hug. She comments on how nice I looked but I could tell by the way
she was looking at me that she agreed with James when it came to the dress
showing off too much cleavage. I didn’t care. Then she told me that a band she
liked was playing at a bar and perhaps we could stop in after dinner. I was all
for it and I asked my friend if she would drive since I was in the mood to get
drunk. I could tell James wasn’t thrilled. He didn’t say anything but he didn’t
have to, I could feel the vibe. He was worried someone he knew might be there
and would see me in this provocative dress and knowing how I am after a few
drinks, he could see me being very flirtatious.
So all of this is happening in my mind at the
same time. I’m still hot, I’m flustered from my fight with the dress, I’m mad
that we’re running late and I’m ticked at my hubby. I am a powder keg, using all
of my willpower so I don’t explode in front of my friend. Then James goes and lights
the fuse. He asks me “what time will you be home?” Now in hindsight, he said
this innocently but given the mood I was in, I took it the wrong way. So without
using judgment or proper discretion, right in front of my girlfriend, I began
to verbally humiliate James. I don’t remember exactly what I said but it was
along the lines of,
“What difference does it make what time I get
home? I’ll be home when I get home. And if I decide to get drunk and flirt with
other men, that’s my fucking business. Yes, James, your wife is going out in
this sexy dress and I’m sure men will be gawking at my tits. So what? And if I
decide to stay out all night, you’re perfectly okay with that, aren’t you?”
James’ eyes got real big and he looked at
Amanda and he looked back at me and his face was soooo red. He was deeply
embarrassed. But I didn’t care.
“Answer me, James. Are you okay if I want to
stay out all night? And if I meet someone I’m attracted to and decide to spent
the night with him, you’re okay with that, aren’t you?”
James looked down at the floor but then he
looked at me and he consented to what I had just said. I could tell that he was
now aroused. His embarrassment was giving way to submission. He wanted more
humiliation, I could feel it, but I knew I had already gone too far in front of
For her part, my girlfriend must have felt
sorry for James because she invited him to join us for dinner. That opened the
door for me to humiliate James one more time. I spoke up and answered for him.
“He can’t come with us. He has chores to do.
James, I want you to clean up the kitchen and do the laundry in the blue hamper
in my bedroom. Is that clear?”
James had slipped into submission. He nodded
and his face was no longer red. He was excited and he wanted to be dominated. He
liked being humiliated in front of my friend, it was obvious. It was kind of
cute and pathetic at the same time.
We left and my friend was quiet at first as
we drove to the restaurant. I could tell she did not approve of the way I
talked to my husband. I had to do something so I apologized to her and then I
told her that James likes to be bossed around, that it turns him on. I apologized
again for doing that in front of her and I explained that I had lost all
discretion because I was frustrated about the dress.
She was cool with it and we ended up having a
great night. I didn’t get plastered but I had a few drinks and we went to hear
the band and we danced with a few men but nothing to write home about. She asked me a few
questions about James and I could tell she was curious. I told her a little, not
too much, but enough to crack open the door. If she ever mentions it again, I’ll
tell her a little more. I would love to see her embrace more of her dominant
side. She needs the confidence and I am more than willing to teach her.
As for James, well hubby was waiting up for
me and he was a good boy. He had cleaned the kitchen and done not only the
laundry in the blue hamper but also in the other hamper. He had washed, dried
and folded my clothes. He greeted me at the door, bowed before me and
apologized for upsetting me. I sat down on the couch and I told him to worship
my body, beginning by kissing my feet. I told him about the men I danced with (embellishing things a little) and how I loved humiliating him
in front of Amanda. James was very excited and he worked his way up my body,
kissing me all over. Finally I allowed him to remove my dress and we retired to
the bedroom. He performed total body worship and licked me to several orgasms. Of
course he was denied. You just never know the direction a night might take. A frustrating struggle with a sundress turned into a wonderful D&S session.
On the lighter side of femdom, yesterday I
decided to do something we do not do enough of, in my opinion. Lately I have
had hubby doing lots of yard work and outdoor chores, taking advantage of the
nicer weather. He still kept up with his indoor chores, like laundry, vacuuming
and dusting. However, the house was in need of a thorough cleaning. The kitchen
and bathroom floors needed mopped, tubs needed cleaned, counter-tops and sinks
scrubbed, etc. So yesterday I decided he was going to be my maid for the entire
We rarely engage in forced feminization, as
that is just not James’ thing. But we had a very exciting forced feminization session
back in January, although it was more gender role reversal than plan feminization.
I felt the need to spice up James’ housework some so yesterday I decided to
feminize him and make him into my sissy-maid for the day.
You may or may not recall
that I once had a phone client who was into sissification and he sent me one of
his sissy dresses and wigs for me to try on James. It was a cute pink dress with
a blonde wig. We played with it a little but in recent
years I rarely use this outfit, in fact I had it dry-cleaned and it was hanging
in an upstairs closet. I broke it out yesterday and called James into my
bedroom. When he walked in, he
saw the pink sissy dress and blonde wig lying on the bed. I ordered him to
undress and I dressed him in white panties, white stockings, and garter belt
and then I assisted him as he put on the pink dress. James’ balls were
noticeably full as his erection swelled inside the CB6000. He will not admit it
without a little coercion but he likes to be feminized more than he wants to
let on. After he was dressed, he sat in my vanity chair and I applied just a
small amount of make-up to his face. Then I put on his wig and handed him his
list of household chores for the day.
James was a good sport
and didn’t complain too much, other than commenting a few times on how hot the
dress made him and how he was sweating in it while doing his chores. I cranked
up the AC to help him out but I was not about to allow him to take off the
dress until all of his chores were done.
While he was doing his
chores like a good little maid, I sat on the deck and talked with friends on the
phone and I was on the computer some, including writing my blog entry yesterday
on my thoughts about the fine line between domination and abuse. Every now and
then I summoned James using the remote of the DL 2000 (we still use this device
although not as much and we still can’t get it working using the internet or
the iphone). The DL2000 gives off intense “love pulses” (an electric slap) to
his genitals at the push of a button on the DL2000 remote.
When I summoned my
sissy, he had to refill my drink or make me a snack. It was a lovely day. All
was going well when a most unexpected event occurred. One of my girlfriends
stopped by, unannounced. It was around 5:00pm and James made a beeline to the
upstairs so she wouldn’t see him in his pretty pink dress and blonde wig. I called
for her to come around back and sit on the deck with me. We visited for a while
and then I excused myself briefly to check in on James.
To his credit, he did
not take off the dress because I had not given him permission. He was dusting
and straightening up upstairs, staying out of sight. I told James that he could
take off the dress and wig and wash the make-up off his face. However, I wanted
him to keep the panties, stockings and garter-on (they were sticking to his
sweaty body) but he was to cover them up with tee-shirt, jeans and shoes. And
he was to cook dinner for me and my friend and serve us out on our deck.
I kept the remote to the
DL2000 in my pocket and used it a few times, without my friend knowing it. It
kept James on his toes as he finished his chores and prepared us dinner,
consisting of broiled steak, carrots, corn on the cob and wild rice. He served
us dinner and I made him eat with us and visit with my friend over dinner. James
was man of few words and I could tell he was a little uneasy, afraid that
somehow my friend would figure out what he was wearing under his clothes. She
didn’t have a clue and she left shortly after dinner, while James was doing the
dishes. She marveled at what a good hubby I have and told me so several times
during her visit.
To top the night off
right, I had my sissy-maid give me a massage on the massage table, still
dressed in lingerie although I had him remove the street clothes, he was in
panties, stockings and garter only, still wearing his chastity device and the
DL2000 as he gave me a great massage. The poor dear was completely exhausted. I
wanted to play with him, perhaps give him a spanking or take with my strap-on, but
after the massage I simply wanted to relax on the couch and watch a little
television. James hit the shower and retired to bed. A job well done by my
sissy maid for the day.