Showing posts with label mentors. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mentors. Show all posts

Friday, July 29, 2011

Kathleen meets Elise Sutton

I first communicated with Elise back in the late 90’s. She offered e-mail counseling and I paid her for the right to communicate with her. I know that sounds kind of crazy but I admired her and I was desperate for a mentor. We wrote back and forth weekly and her help to me was invaluable. After the agreed upon timeframe was over, Elise continued to communicate with me, free of charge. She encouraged me to do the phone counseling and to accept Dee and Gene’s offer to become the Head Mistress of ClubFEM when it became apparent that no one else was going to step forward. Elise helped me to expand my horizons when I lacked the confidence.

I’d estimate that 90% of my correspondence with Elise over the years has been by e-mail. But I have talked with her over the phone and I’ve met her in-person on several occasions. I corresponded with Elise for almost three years before talking with her over the phone. It never entered my mind that Elise was anything other than she claimed to be. Call it a gut feeling that proved to be correct. Maybe I was naïve in those days but I didn’t have to meet her in person. My husband pestered me about it, not because he doubted her but because he was like most other men, he was dying to know what she looked like. I refused to get caught up in this but inevitably the need to talk to her over the phone became a must when she asked me to do phone calls for her.

I finally got the chance to meet her in person in the summer of 2003. We met for dinner in the DC area, just she and I, no husbands. I felt like I was meeting my long lost sister, that’s how close I felt to her at the time. So there I was, having dinner with the legendary Elise Sutton, my FemDom mentor, and if you would have been a fly on the wall in that restaurant do you know what you would have heard us two dominant women talking about? Dogs! We mostly talked about our love for our pets. We didn’t talk about domming our husbands, we didn’t discuss female supremacy, and we didn’t talk about D/s or FemDom. We were just two friends having dinner.

I next saw Elise in person at a gathering in Las Vegas in 2005. When the e-zine “Predominant” first started back in 2005 I was one of four other women that assisted her. We all met in Las Vegas in the autumn of 2005, all expenses paid thanks to Elise. One night we all went out to dinner and Elise told us stories about how she was active in the BDSM community back in the late 80’s under a different scene name. She told us about the parties and S&M clubs she used to frequent “in the day”.


Elise threw out names of Mistresses she was once close to, none of whom meant a thing to me but my husband was familiar with some of the names because he used to buy FemDom magazines back in the 80’s before he ever met me. James said some of the names Elise mentioned were Mistresses he used to fantasize about from their pictures in the magazines. 

It was on this trip to Vegas that we all went to see the kinky show “Fashionistas” at Krave nightclub, located on the side of the Aladdin Hotel and Casino (now Planet Hollywood) on Harmon Avenue. I reviewed the show for the December 2005 issue of “Predominant”.
 
 
The last time I saw Elise was four years ago when James and I had dinner with Elise and her husband. I wish I could write of wild times and share how Elise and I dominated a bunch of men or all the fun we had domming our husbands, but the truth is I’ve never ‘played’ with Elise nor have I ever witnessed her within a D/s scene.

People still write me asking questions about Elise. To my knowledge most of the rumors that have circulated around the internet about Elise are false but I can’t answer most of the questions because quite frankly, although I’ve been an associate of hers for over a decade, I can’t say that I really know the woman outside of her FemDom persona. I can say that she is an attractive, mature woman with a very sweet personality. From all indications, based on my personal observations, Elise believes what she writes and she writes what she believes.

She told me she got bored with the BDSM scene and in the 90’s a new career opportunity made her seek anonymity. She decided to promote FemDom by writing and sharing her philosophy and experiences using the internet. Obviously Elise Sutton is not her real name. I have no idea what her real name might be and I’ve never asked.

We rarely communicate these days and my only dealing with her is when I submit my column for “Predominant”. I’m not sure how much longer I will continue to do that. Every year I tell myself this is going to be my last but I guess I feel obligated for all that she did for me in those early years when I was a total novice.

I’ll close here by saying I have always found Elise to be honest and trustworthy when it came to my dealings with her. I will always have a high opinion of Elise and I will always be grateful to her for all the time she took mentoring me. 


Monday, June 27, 2011

Mentors

Elise Sutton was my main mentor throughout my early years in FemDom but I also considered a woman by the name of Hillary to be a mentor as well because she offered a different twist on the lifestyle than Elise. Whenever I was struggling to understand something or needed to comprehend an idea in a different light, I could always turn to Hillary.

Another way that Hillary was helpful was just by sharing her wild and crazy stories with me. She gave me so many bright ideas and over the years I have incorporated numerous “Hillary originals” into my own playtime.

Hillary also has a strong women’s intuition. A couple years back I was struggling with some personal issues. I never mentioned them to her but somehow she picked up on them. The words she spoke into my life helped to turn the situation around and for that I will be eternally grateful.

One of my biggest thrills was when I got to meet my mentors face to face. When Elise began her e-zine, she asked me if I wanted to contribute. I declined at first but she persuaded me to be interviewed for one of the earliest issues. My interview ran in the February 2005 edition.

Hillary knew I was a big film buff and she came up with the idea for me to do a FemDom movie review for each issue. Elise loved the idea and that is how my movie review column came to be in “Predominant”.

There were four women that put together the early issues of the e-zine. In the autumn of 2005, Elise invited us all to Las Vegas to meet face to face and discuss the future of the e-zine. I had only met Elise on one other occasion. We met for dinner in 2003 at a restaurant in Georgetown. Meeting Hillary, Lilly, and Kay, along with their spouses, face to face in Las Vegas was a big thrill for me.


It was on this trip that we all went to see the kinky show “Fashionistas” at Krave nightclub, located on the side of the Aladdin Hotel and Casino (now Planet Hollywood) on Harmon Avenue. I reviewed the show for the December 2005 issue of “Predominant”.


I had other mentors in addition to Elise and Hillary. Mistress Dee of the Houston chapter of ClubFEM was very helpful to me on more than one occasion, and of course my good friend Mistress Alex of the DC chapter of ClubFEM always had nuggets of wisdom to pass along. But the sad thing is that I haven’t kept in contact with any of these women. That’s partly on me but I’ve noticed that this lifestyle is like that. You meet people, you become friends, you share many intimate details about your sex life with each other, but these relationships don’t seem to last.

The couples I met at ClubFEM came and went. You never knew who would show up again. There were so many people I met through this lifestyle. James and I even traveled and met other couples not associated with ClubFEM, and we would “play” with these people for one night, and it would be enjoyable, and we’d write back and forth in the days and weeks afterwards, or we’d talk on the phone, but then nothing. They’d just dropped out of sight, never to be heard from again.

I guess that’s to be expected when you’re dealing with such a private area of people’s lives. Some people were really weird about it but others, like Alex and Steve, were very open about it. I’m a very open person and I have no problem sharing my innermost being with others, but my husband is the opposite. I call him ‘secret agent man’ because he doesn’t want anyone to know our business, and I’m not just talking about our sex life. He doesn’t want others to know anything about his personal life.

Nonetheless, we all need mentors. We all need knowledge. We all need someone we can go to when we have questions. The Internet is a great source but you never really know who is on the other end of that website, blog, or e-mail. It’s nice to have relationships with people you trust, even if they are cyber relationships. And it’s nice to have mentors.