Sunday, July 31, 2011

The Blue Angel

I love to dominate my husband and I sometimes lust for that wonderful feeling of having total power and control over him. I enjoy the occasional thrill of humiliating a man and bringing him down a peg or two. I confess that it makes me wet. However, I love my husband and it pains me to see him suffer any real emotional hurt. For at the end of the day, I participate in this lifestyle with him because it is beneficial to the both of us. My dominance over him and his submission to me work to bring harmony within our marriage. We complete each other.
Nonetheless, I am well aware of men who seek to be so thoroughly dominated that the woman completely strips them of all human dignity. When I did phone calls some of my clients shared this secret desire with me. They wanted a woman to take total control and humiliate them and degrade them until all dignity and self-worth was shattered. Why would a man want that? Why would a woman want to do that? This intrigues me and I know it exists and I know it happens out there.
To fantasize about it or to role-play intense humiliation games can be perfectly healthy and a heck of a lot of fun. However, to allow it to develop into a relationship where the woman strips the man of all dignity and all self-esteem as a human being, it develops into an extreme expression of female domination that is not healthy and can be very dangerous.
What is the breaking point? How far can a woman push a man into the depths of humiliation or into ruin or shame before he loses his mind and possibly goes insane? That brings me to the movie I’ve chosen to review for Predominant. I was unaware of the 1930 German film, “The Blue Angel” until a reader of my blog wrote me and suggested this movie. To quote him,
Thanks for your priority for dramatic quality over fetish content. Did you consider ‘The Blue Angel’ made in 1930 in Germany with Marlene Dietrich? I saw this decades ago and not since, but recall it as a stunning, somewhat creepy tale of a man who gives up every shred of dignity and respect to grovel at the feet of the luscious Marlene's haughty and uncaring cabaret singer.”
Naturally this interested me so I looked it up and found it on Amazon. I downloaded the movie (I might have to buy the DVD later for my private movie collection) and I have to tell you that I was impressed with the acting, the feel, and the overall quality of the film. You have to keep in mind that this movie was made in 1930 and it was Joseph Sternberg and Emil Janning’s first entry into the uncertain realm of talking films.  So don’t expect “Citizen Kane” quality but nonetheless it is an excellent movie. I was leaning toward giving it 4 out of 5 stars but on reflection, I think I’m going to give it 5 stars.

Emil Jannings was very good in “The Blue Angel” but Dietrich stole the show. From the sultriness and dominance of Lola to the intensity with which she is played, Dietrich captivated the audience.  How much of this was Sternberg, his sense of the mechanics of a temptress and his skillfulness in surrounding such a creature with a steamy atmosphere, and how much of it was Dietrich has been debated.

Certainly it was the fantasies of a man, in this case Sternberg, who created the scenes where a dominant female could flourish. He created the scenes where Dietrich did obscene things (for a 1930 audience) such as the casual changing and tossing of her panties, having her grossly spitting into her mascara box, having her drop cigarettes under her dressing table and making Jannings get down and pick them up so that he will be within inches of her bare legs and her neighboring erogenous zone.  It was Sternberg who gave Dietrich the cruel lines, "You've come back; they always do", when the proud college professor returns to her dressing room.  And it was he who directed Lola's sudden and viciously switch from seductress to Humiliatrix on their wedding night.

But it is Dietrich's magnetism, her way of sinking her eyes behind a curtain, her way of teasing men as she flaunts her sexuality, and her ability to blend just the right tones of ‘Men cluster to me like moths around a flame. And if their wings burn, I know I'm not to blame’ as she sings "Falling in Love Again".

Evidently Emil Jannings chose the book “Professor Unrat” by Heinrich Mann because it followed the general line of the kind of stories in which he had made popular. These were stories of fallen idols, men of substance and authority who, for one reason or another (usually because of women), were reduced to ruin and shame.

"Professor Unrat” was a story of a renowned school teacher who lost his position and social standing when he married a demimonde singer (Rosa) and thereafter disgraced himself. Rosa seduces the professor, beginning a relationship with him that sees him catering to her every wish: expensive restaurants, new clothing, a furnished flat, even sorting her laundry.

Eventually he is fired from his position, marries Rosa, and after two years of this marriage, Raat is financially ruined. A friend of Rosa's suggests that Raat give ‘lectures’, which serve as a cover for Rosa to discreetly entertain male clientele in the professor's formerly respectable home. By the end of the book he is reduced to a man that runs through the streets of town where he is mocked and ridiculed.
With Mann's complete endorsement and the nominal collaborative help of three German writers, the director prepared a screenplay which departed considerably from Mann's original story.  His changes were mainly in the cutting of the latter part, updating it and reshaping the role of the woman. As a consequence, it was critical who they got for an actress to play the lead female role, whom they changed the name from Rosa to Lola.
Sternberg originally wanted prominent German actress, Greta Massine, to play the crucial role. When he couldn't get her, he fretted about finding an actress who could portray the right blend of sexuality, femininity, dominance, and cruelty. In 1929, Sternberg wandered into a Berlin cabaret and spotted a woman singing. He was so captivated by her performance that he arranged to give her a screen test for the part of Lola. Her name was Marlene Dietrich and the rest as they say is movie history. This role would launch Dietrich into stardom.
After the success of “The Blue Angel” there followed an amazing collaboration between Dietrich and Sternberg and they made six memorable films together for Paramount in Hollywood; “Morocco”, “Dishonored”, “Blonde Venus”, “Shanghai Express”, “The Scarlet Empress” and “The Devil is a Woman”.

Dietrich’s sexuality, dominance and screen presence, combined with Sternberg’s photography and supreme lighting, mixed in with the sexy costumes created by Travis Banton, all became a recipe to create films that have never been equaled and have stood the test of time. “Morocco” was a particularly notable film as this was Marlene’s first appearance wearing a suit/trousers combo which would become her trademark, and the woman to woman kiss that appeared in the film also caused a stir at the time.
In the final evaluation, “The Blue Angel” has a moral. It is a tale of caution to the man that wants to be stripped of all his value and worth as a human by a woman. It was heart-wrenching watching the Professor's total humiliation at the end of this film. You could feel his shame and emotional pain as Lola orders him to publically debase himself on stage as a clown in front of people who once admired him (while Lola flirts with another man who would become her new lover).  

Humiliation can be fun and it can be a tool that a dominant woman uses to take the male ego down a peg or two, but there must be limits because every person has a breaking point. I’ve heard of the stories of women forcing their reluctant husbands into extreme humiliation, such as forced-bi with another man all for the wife’s entertainment. And there is extreme financial domination where a Mistress takes a man for all of his money, leaving him both broken and broke.

As Sergeant Phil Esterhaus used to say on “Hill Street Blues";

'Hey, let's be careful out there.’

Saturday, July 30, 2011

A date with myself

It’s Saturday and I need a “me” day. Chase called me twice this week and he wants to see me again this weekend. James has been all lovey dovey since his strap-on session the other night. He wants to spend the day with me. And an old male “friend” contacted me this week. He’s going to be in the DC area and wanted to know if we could hook up. My, aren’t I the popular one?

Sorry boys. No can do. I am going to spend the afternoon and evening alone, shopping. There is a pleasant town an hour north of where I live and they have a nice shopping mall and some outlets. I called a girlfriend to see if she wanted to come with me but she had other plans. Just as well. I like shopping alone because I can take my time and browse without worrying about the other person. I thought about taking James and having him be my personal shopping servant but I need some things done around the house. So his day will consist of cleaning the house and doing laundry.

James looked like a lost puppy when I told him the news. I didn’t want to leave him like that so I had him lay across my lap and I gave him a sensual but still firm bare hand spanking while I instructed him on his list of chores for the weekend. Then I took off my panties and had him put them on. That will be a nice reminder to him that I am in charge even when I’m not here to supervise.

I’m not sure what I’ll get into tonight but it’s another hot one and usually after a day (and evening) of shopping I’m in the mood to just chill. I’m sure I’ll need my feet rubbed tonight and maybe a massage will be in order.

Friday, July 29, 2011

Kathleen meets Elise Sutton

I first communicated with Elise back in the late 90’s. She offered e-mail counseling and I paid her for the right to communicate with her. I know that sounds kind of crazy but I admired her and I was desperate for a mentor. We wrote back and forth weekly and her help to me was invaluable. After the agreed upon timeframe was over, Elise continued to communicate with me, free of charge. She encouraged me to do the phone counseling and to accept Dee and Gene’s offer to become the Head Mistress of ClubFEM when it became apparent that no one else was going to step forward. Elise helped me to expand my horizons when I lacked the confidence.

I’d estimate that 90% of my correspondence with Elise over the years has been by e-mail. But I have talked with her over the phone and I’ve met her in-person on several occasions. I corresponded with Elise for almost three years before talking with her over the phone. It never entered my mind that Elise was anything other than she claimed to be. Call it a gut feeling that proved to be correct. Maybe I was naïve in those days but I didn’t have to meet her in person. My husband pestered me about it, not because he doubted her but because he was like most other men, he was dying to know what she looked like. I refused to get caught up in this but inevitably the need to talk to her over the phone became a must when she asked me to do phone calls for her.

I finally got the chance to meet her in person in the summer of 2003. We met for dinner in the DC area, just she and I, no husbands. I felt like I was meeting my long lost sister, that’s how close I felt to her at the time. So there I was, having dinner with the legendary Elise Sutton, my FemDom mentor, and if you would have been a fly on the wall in that restaurant do you know what you would have heard us two dominant women talking about? Dogs! We mostly talked about our love for our pets. We didn’t talk about domming our husbands, we didn’t discuss female supremacy, and we didn’t talk about D/s or FemDom. We were just two friends having dinner.

I next saw Elise in person at a gathering in Las Vegas in 2005. When the e-zine “Predominant” first started back in 2005 I was one of four other women that assisted her. We all met in Las Vegas in the autumn of 2005, all expenses paid thanks to Elise. One night we all went out to dinner and Elise told us stories about how she was active in the BDSM community back in the late 80’s under a different scene name. She told us about the parties and S&M clubs she used to frequent “in the day”.

Elise threw out names of Mistresses she was once close to, none of whom meant a thing to me but my husband was familiar with some of the names because he used to buy FemDom magazines back in the 80’s before he ever met me. James said some of the names Elise mentioned were Mistresses he used to fantasize about from their pictures in the magazines. 

It was on this trip to Vegas that we all went to see the kinky show “Fashionistas” at Krave nightclub, located on the side of the Aladdin Hotel and Casino (now Planet Hollywood) on Harmon Avenue. I reviewed the show for the December 2005 issue of “Predominant”.
The last time I saw Elise was four years ago when James and I had dinner with Elise and her husband. I wish I could write of wild times and share how Elise and I dominated a bunch of men or all the fun we had domming our husbands, but the truth is I’ve never ‘played’ with Elise nor have I ever witnessed her within a D/s scene.

People still write me asking questions about Elise. To my knowledge most of the rumors that have circulated around the internet about Elise are false but I can’t answer most of the questions because quite frankly, although I’ve been an associate of hers for over a decade, I can’t say that I really know the woman outside of her FemDom persona. I can say that she is an attractive, mature woman with a very sweet personality. From all indications, based on my personal observations, Elise believes what she writes and she writes what she believes.

She told me she got bored with the BDSM scene and in the 90’s a new career opportunity made her seek anonymity. She decided to promote FemDom by writing and sharing her philosophy and experiences using the internet. Obviously Elise Sutton is not her real name. I have no idea what her real name might be and I’ve never asked.

We rarely communicate these days and my only dealing with her is when I submit my column for “Predominant”. I’m not sure how much longer I will continue to do that. Every year I tell myself this is going to be my last but I guess I feel obligated for all that she did for me in those early years when I was a total novice.

I’ll close here by saying I have always found Elise to be honest and trustworthy when it came to my dealings with her. I will always have a high opinion of Elise and I will always be grateful to her for all the time she took mentoring me. 

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Strap-on session

Last night I had a serious discussion with my hubby about what transpired Saturday night. He confessed to me that he found it to be an erotic experience as he listened to me “getting it on” with my date in the guest bedroom. However, he also admitted to me that he has struggled with it a little this week. It was a very constructive discussion and I saw his point about his fear of someone seeing Chase's car in our driveway and noticing me going out with him for breakfast the next day. I also see his point about my spontaneous actions of giving James the false impression that I was going to allow him the honor of orally pleasuring me but instead I left him hanging and went to be with my date. This caused James some anxiety about the situation.

Nevertheless, I pointed out to my husband that it was my decision and I enjoy having the freedom to be spontaneous when the mood strikes me. Negotiating limits is important within a FemDom marriage but in my mind those limits have long ago been established. James has consented to my right to be with other men so I don’t have to get his “blessing” each and every time a situation presents itself. If I were to do that, then he would be the dominant partner. He agreed with me as I explained this to him but I still felt he needed a reminder of his place in this marriage.

I was going through old e-mails and I recently came across one that Hillary had sent me many years ago about how she loved to change things up when she dominated her husband by using different rooms in the house, different furniture, different scenarios and so on and so forth. I felt like my husband needed a healthy dose of my strap-on but I didn’t want to do it on the bed. I wanted something different and something special.

I took him to the computer room and after he was naked, I had him bend over the desk. I tied his hands so they were spread out on top of the desk, running the rope under the desk and tying it to the legs of the desk. His ass was nice and accessible. The A/C was on full blast so it was cold in the room. I went and put on a pair of tight leather pants and strapped my harness around my waist. I selected a dildo a little bigger than the one I used on him the last time.

I carefully lubricated his anus using a latex glove and some KY jelly. Then I grabbed his shoulders and eased the dildo into him gently. Once it was in there, I began to take him forcefully, very forcefully, grabbing the sides of the desk to give me more leverage.

As I was “taking” my hubby I explained to him again, in no uncertain terms, how I make the decisions on what happens when I’m on a date. I reminded James that he can trust me to keep his interests in the forefront of my mind and that I have never abused that trust. I was then able to get him to surrender his insecurities and male ego over to me by verbally consenting that I’m allowed to be intimate with other men, even if that means doing it across the hall from his bedroom and making him listen in. I reminded James that he should be happy for me when I am with someone who is giving me pleasure.

The strap-on got my points across and James became very docile and compliant to all that I was saying. I even told him he could climax if he could do it from the stimulation of my strap-on. He tried, and he said he was close, but he couldn’t do it. I gave him more than an ample chance but he couldn’t do it, so I withdrew the dildo and untied him. “Lesson learned”, I told him and I ordered him to get dress.

I changed and retired to the living room to watch television. James prepared a snack and a drink for me. I could tell he was in a happy place. We both were. 

Friday, July 22, 2011

The Heat is On

The heat has taken a toll so I’ve not been in the mood to write much this week. My D/s session on Monday night with my husband has also taken a toll (in a good way). He’s been very eager to serve me and I love it when he acts like this. Tuesday night he gave me a wonderful massage. And last night he took me out for dinner and a movie. He can hardly keep his hands off of me and he is saying the sweetest things. FemDom is undeniably romantic. I could only be married to a man within a FemDom marriage.

If I were ever to be single again (God Forbid) I could only marry a man who would agree to enter into a FemDom marriage with me. I couldn’t imagine any other type of marriage or lifestyle. Life does come at us from many angles and I had to take a long break there to deal with some personal issues but I never lost my zeal for FemDom, even when I wasn’t actively practicing it.

I’ve also been talking with my male friend (dare I refer to him as my boyfriend or my boy-toy?) on the phone the last two days. He’s coming to pick me up Saturday for our date. What shall we do after dinner? Will he get a hotel? Will I invite him to stay the night at our place? It’s such a long drive and although he said he’s willing to do it, I don’t think it’s right that he make that trip late Saturday night. We’ll see and I’ll keep you posted.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Mistress Kathleen is back

It’s been a slow process gaining the old D/s magic back in my sessions with my husband but we’re definitely getting there. Building off the momentum from my date Saturday night, I had a wonderful session with my husband last night. I wanted to ‘play’ with him on Sunday night but I decided to rearrange the furniture in my bedroom and that led to an entire afternoon of James and I moving furniture all around in both of our bedrooms and in the guest room. By Sunday night I was too exhausted to tackle a D/s session.

I was off on Monday but James had to work. After dinner he did the dishes and I prepared for a session by going through my cedar chest of goodies. I laid out on the bed my selection of toys. A vibrating cock ring caught my attention but the batteries were dead so I had to run around the house looking for some. In addition I selected a bag full of nylon rope that had been cut into 1, 2 and 3 foot strips. To top it off I laid out my short riding crop. I dressed in a leather bra, a leather thong and knee high leather boots.

It’s been a few weeks since James has had an orgasm so I knew he was more than ready but I wanted to make him work for it. I wanted it to be hands free. I had him strip naked and I tied his wrists to the bolts that are fastened to the top of the doorway of my bedroom (I stood on a stool and tied his wrists with the strands of nylon rope). James is tall so he was able to stretch his arms out over his head while keeping his feet firmly on the floor. I then tied his ankles together. When I was done James was immobile and at my mercy.

I placed the vibrating cock ring on him and I tested the remote by setting it to a mildly pleasurable vibration. I then gave James my challenge. I told James he was free to climax but he would have to do it with no additional stimulation. The only other sensation his body would feel would be the sharp stings from my riding crop. I wanted to see if I could get inside his head and use a combination of mild pleasure (cock ring), moderate discomfort (riding crop) and intense mental stimulation (humiliation) to get him to climax.

I began by asking him how he felt about Saturday night. I probed his mind by getting him to share his true feelings with me. I asked a series of questions such as: How did you feel when you were preparing me for my date? What went through your mind when my date showed up at the restaurant? Did you think about what I might be doing with my date while you were visiting your relatives? What would you have done if I had agreed to stay the night with my date at a hotel? How did you feel when I told you that me and my date kissed and made out in the back of the jazz club?

James is not very good at sharing his feelings and I hate it when he says “I don’t know?” or “I’m not sure?” Those are not acceptable answers so I got my crop and I began to whip his ass while I continued to probe his mind in an attempt to extract his true feelings. James held back and it took him a little time before he surrendered to the scene but finally I had the breakthrough I was waiting for.

As the cock ring did its thing and the crop made him squirm, James started to let go of his feelings. He opened up and admitted that he felt humiliated and emasculated when my date came into the restaurant and gave me a kiss right in front of everyone sitting around the bar. James confessed that he was embarrassed as he left the restaurant and drove to his relative’s place. But I also got him to admit that he was aroused by Saturday night’s events. He told me I looked sexy that night and he confessed that he enjoyed being humiliated by me.

I pulled his head back by grabbing him by his hair and I looked him in the face. I asked him “Why were you humiliated?” James struggled and after getting “I don’t know?” (which I responded to by hitting him harder with my crop) I got him to reach deeper within himself and he admitted “Because you’re beautiful and sexy and I’m not worthy of you.” I loved his answer so I gave him a kiss.

I extracted more confessions as I continued to strike him with my crop while the cock ring kept stimulating his genitals. I told him that I was pleased to hear him say these things and I then made him confess to what I wanted. “I plan of seeing him again, is that alright with you?”

I told him that I planned on going out with this same man again this coming Saturday night. James was getting very excited and his cock was dripping pre-cum. I knew he was ready so I told him I wanted him to climax for me. I turned up the vibration level of the cock ring and I began to whip him harder and faster.

“Do it for me, baby?” I commanded. “Come on, let it go. Show me how much you love to be dominated and humiliated by your gorgeous and sexy wife.”

James’ body began to convulse and I could tell he was on the edge. He was so close but he needed a little extra stimulation. I took my hand and I twisted his nipple. He was so damn close. I went deeper in his head by saying “I think I’m going to fuck him Saturday. I want to fuck him.”

That’s all it took. James shot his load and it came in long spurts. He jerked his body as if the orgasm was more painful than pleasurable. He practically collapsed but the ropes held him in place. I teased him that his orgasm allowed me a glimpse into this soul, because as soon as I mentioned me possibly fucking my male friend, he came immediately. “What does that say about you, James? What kind of a man gets that excited at the thought of his wife fucking another man?”

I got on the stool and untied him. His wrists were raw where the ropes had cut into his skin. He was exhausted but I was very, very turned on. I sat on the bed and ordered him to worship my body. His passion was less than stellar at first (an orgasm will do that to a man) but it didn’t take him long to get into it and in no time my nipples were hard and I had goose bumps all over my body from his soft kisses and the hard licks from his tongue. He worshiped every inch of my body and when I was ready, I ordered him between my legs. He licked me to multiple orgasms and I clawed and scratched his shoulders with my fingernails while I came.

When we were done, James wore my marks on his body, from the rope marks in his wrists, to the crop marks on his ass, to my scratch marks on his shoulders. It was the best D/s session we’ve had in I don’t know how long. I think it’s safe to say that Mistress Kathleen is back.

Monday, July 18, 2011

The mysterious Dr. Jane Foxx

In a previous post I talked about the challenges in finding like-minded FemDom couples. One of the lessons I learned through these experiences was that quite often it was the submissive husband who made the initial contact with me, pretending to be his wife. That kind of clued me in on what was going on out there. I wasted too much time corresponding with men who pretended they were women. I hope they got something out of it because I didn’t.
In another post I shared how I used to interview some of the women featured in “Predominant”. I wish I could say that every woman that contacted us was legit but that wasn’t the case. During the verification process we uncovered our share of ‘pretenders’ (to put it nicely). When it came time to get a phone number or schedule a meeting, all of a sudden the e-mails stopped and we knew we had been communicating with a man. Some of these guys went to great lengths to deceive us.
That brings me to the strange experience of the mysterious Dr. Jane Foxx. It was 2005 and we were putting together the March issue of Predominant. Hillary was interviewed in January and I was interviewed in February. Lilly was planning on being interviewed in March but Elise had been communicating with a woman who was anxious to be interviewed so she could plug her books at the same time. Her name was Dr. Jane Foxx (she claimed to have a Ph. D. in Educational Philosophy) and she donated her latest novel “Females in Control” to Predominant. We were still new so having an erotic and well written piece of FemDom fiction to add to the e-zine was a big plus.
Jane Foxx said she lived in the Columbus, Ohio area so Elise asked me if I would handle the interview and the verification process. Jane kept coming up with excuses as to why she couldn’t meet me but she said she was more than willing to be verified over the phone. We were running up against a deadline so I agreed. I talked with her and was satisfied so we ran her interview in Predominant along with a few chapters from her novel. All seemed kosher.

However, a few months later Jane Foxx began writing me. She sent me copies of some of her books and she wanted to communicate. I was in the middle of a lot of stuff in 2005 so I didn’t really have the time but whenever she would write I would reply back out of common courtesy. Then she began to make strange requests. She wanted to exchange videotapes of us dominating men. She actually mailed me a video of her dominating one of her clients. It was very hardcore stuff and you could tell it was an amateur production. In return she wanted me to mail her a videotape of me dominating my husband. She said we could wear masks to hide our faces (on her videotape the woman and the man were wearing masks).
Naturally I declined. There was no way I was going to do this. Later that Fall all of us gals of Predominant met in Las Vegas. I told Elise about my dealings with Jane Foxx which made her suspicious. She told me not to communicate with her any more. Elise had her own doubts about Jane because she had made similar ‘strange’ requests of her. That is why Elise ended up running only the first two installments of Jane’s novel in Predominant. It was originally going to run the whole year but Jane’s unusual requests were a caution flag so Elise pulled the plug. In its place Elise began to run original fiction from well-known FemDom author Wayne C. Rogers. Elise and Wayne had been communicating with each other and he offered to contribute his work to the e-zine.
Then about a year later, Elise received an e-mail from a woman in Louisville, Kentucky. Elise knew her because she had interviewed her for her first book “Female Domination”. In 2002, when Elise was writing her book, this Mistress from Louisville was one of the few American women Elise found who had actually been to the Other World Kingdom. In 2006 the Louisville Mistress ordered the back issues of Predominant 2005 and came across our interview with Jane Foxx. The Louisville Mistress immediately contacted Elise. She said Jane was not what she appeared to be. Or, to be more exact, Jane was not what ‘he’ appeared to be.
She claimed that Jane Foxx was one of her former clients and he was a submissive male (she would not give his name). She said he was an intelligent man who was a college professor and he liked to write FemDom novels from the Mistress’ point of view. He created the character Jane Foxx in one of his earliest novels and he identified with her so much that he made her the author of the novel (and the many novels that were to follow). To market the books he posted on message boards, he advertised on websites where other reputable Dommes advertised, and he wrote more fiction that was heavy on lesbian FemDom encounters. His ads were accompanied by pictures of a petite redheaded Mistress holding a whip or wearing an outrageously long strap-on.

In doing research, we discovered that the Mistress on Jane’s book covers was a professional Dominatrix from Toronto, named Lady Domina.

I was flabbergasted. ‘How can that be?’ I said, ‘I talked to Jane Foxx over the phone.’

According to the Louisville Mistress, her former male client regularly paid professional Mistresses to pretend to be the fictitious Jane Foxx whenever someone requested to talk with her over the phone. He asked her to do this but she refused. But she said there were plenty of professional Mistresses in Columbus who would be more than willing if the money was right.

(After we came into this revelation, unless it was a high-profile Mistress with an impeccable reputation, we conducted all Predominant interviews in person.)

 ‘But who was the woman and the man on the video Jane sent me?’ That we don’t know for sure. The Louisville Mistress believed (without seeing the video) that he may have paid a professional Mistress to do an amateur video with one of her clients, and he then used that video to swap it for other videos with lifestyle couples.

Mystery solved, right? Probably, but I still can’t say with 100% accuracy. Jane Foxx resurfaced claiming that the Mistress from Louisville and other Dommes were trying to discredit her because a wealthy former client of the Louisville Mistress became one of Jane Foxx’s personal slaves. Jane admitted to using another Mistress’ pictures (Lady Domina from Toronto) but she said she did that because she didn’t want to jeopardize her job at the college where she taught. But now she is retired so she is free to use her ‘real picture’ on her books.

Who’s telling the truth? At this juncture in my life it doesn’t really matter to me but I’m inclined to believe the Louisville Mistress. She proved to be a reliable source and Elise personally vouched for her. 

Jane Foxx is still around selling books and if you ‘google’ the name you will find her (his) books (most are now e-books). For the record, my husband read all of the books Jane sent me and he said they were excellent. I only read one of her (his) books, “Female Whips ‘n Kisses”, and I must admit that I liked it. Jane Foxx is a talented writer and if you’re into hardcore lesbian FemDom you’ll probably enjoy her (his) books. Just be mindful that the author may very well be a man pretending to be a dominant lesbian.

Men masquerading as dominant women is nothing new. From what I’ve been told, men used to place personal ads in S&M magazines pretending to be Mistresses back as far as the 1970’s and 1980’s. They must have gotten a thrill receiving inquiries from fellow submissive men all over the world. I guess it fed their personal fantasies.

The internet makes this more common place and with all the role-playing, Sims games, avatars and anonymity of the internet, the gender lines easily get blurred. I guess it doesn’t really hurt anyone if on a blog or website someone pretends to be something other than they really are. I’m not condemning anybody who chooses to do this as long as their intent isn’t to defraud anyone. However, I feel the effect of this is a fantasy laden existence that actual dominant women can never live up to. It’s obvious that men do this because, in their minds, there aren’t enough authentic dominant women out there, hence they invent their own.

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Kathleen meets Super Vixen Bitch

As you are probably aware, I am affiliated with Elise Sutton’s e-zine, “Predominant”. Since its inception my primarily responsibility has been writing a movie review column. However, when the e-zine first began in 2005 I would occasionally perform other duties, such as interviewing a few of the dominant women that were featured in the e-zine.

If the woman was high-profile with an established résumé such as Dianna Vesta or Claudia Varrin, Elise handled these interviews by e-mail. But if the woman was less known or unknown, we verified her existence through an in-person interview. Based on my proximity to where these interviewees lived, Elise asked me if I would conduct some of the interviews. Her other associates (Hillary, Lilly and Kay) did likewise. I traveled to places like Pittsburgh, Columbus (Ohio) and Louisville to meet and interview women that were featured in Predominant. I personally conducted five interviews.

The first woman I interviewed was in Pittsburgh. Her name was Madame Ingrid and she went by the name ‘Super Vixen Bitch’. James and I traveled the short distance in the summer of 2005 and met Ingrid and her boyfriend (or was he one of her submissives?) at the William Penn hotel in downtown Pittsburgh. After a pleasant chat, we got in our vehicles and we followed Ingrid as she led us back to her place. We climbed hills, went through tunnels, crossed bridges (in other words a typical drive in and around Pittsburgh) until we came to her studio. It was dark so I couldn’t have found the place again if my life depended on it but I could tell it was in a nice neighborhood. Ingrid’s studio was in a big Victorian house with high ceilings, hardwood floors and multiple fireplaces.

She gave us the grand tour.

Ingrid: In this room, I have a St. Andrews cross and this is a black leather spanking bench, both are great for discipline sessions. I also have a whipping post.
Predominant: What is in this next room?
Ingrid: That there is a Dual Suspension Rack which is ideal for the use of my A-Frame Leather Slut Swing or Parachute Sling, and superb for Shibari suspension bondage. I love suspension play. Members of my site can see me in action.
After she gave us the tour, we sat down and conducted the rest of the interview. I asked the questions and James wrote down her answers. It was James who recommended Ingrid. He had met her at a Fetish convention in the winter of 2004. In January of 2004, James and Steve (Alex’s husband from ClubFEM) attended BondCon in Las Vegas. Steve ran a boot fetish website and he wanted to attend BondCon to take pictures of all the dominant women and fetish models who were wearing boots.

Elise’s first book had just come out so she was out there selling and signing copies. James went out to assist both Elise and Steve with their commercial enterprises. While he was out there at BondCon, James met Ingrid. I’m not sure if Elise had met her or not but when I mentioned her as a possible Predominant interview Elise was all for it.

James showed me Ingrid’s website and I was impressed because it was light-hearted, fun and artsy. It was in sharp contrast to other Pro Domme sites and this was by no coincidence. Ingrid had attended the Maryland Institute College of Art in Baltimore and her artistic creativity was noticeable on her site and in her videos.

Ingrid and I hit it off. I complimented her on how beautiful she was (Ingrid is stunning).

Ingrid returned the compliment, commenting on how tall I was (I’m nearly 5’10” and I was wearing boots with heels so I towered over 6 feet that night). The interview went great. Here is a small portion.

Ingrid: I like bondage and corporal punishment. I like to place a man in creative and restrictive bondage. I am skilled in Shibari Japanese rope bondage and I also like suspension.
Predominant: So you are kind of a throwback in the sense that your sessions are big on bondage and discipline. When one thinks of the Dominatrix, the image that comes to mind is a woman who ties a man up and whips him. That is the traditional image of a Dominatrix but today so many different activities are associated with Professional Domination. It’s nice to know that there are still women who like good old-fashioned bondage and discipline.
Ingrid: I give each client a questionnaire and I am skilled in many of the BDSM arts but my favorites are bondage and corporal. I find I can create so many scenarios focusing on those themes.
Predominant: You obviously put a lot of thought and time into creating your sessions. What do you love most about bondage and discipline?
Ingrid: There is nothing more delightful than witnessing the helplessness of a slave hanging mid-air, bound in intricate knots and diamond patterns, vulnerable, exposed, and susceptible to any number of tortures that I may choose to inflict upon him. With my abundant array of whips, crops, paddles, canes, and floggers, corporal punishment is an absolute specialty of mine. Florentine double flogging, striping tender bottoms and thighs with a cane, old-fashioned strapping, over-the-knee paddling, and the crack of a single-tail whip are mere samplings of what I enjoy.
I like for a scene to be mutually fulfilling, a combination of the client’s D&S desires and my D&S desires. A good flogging can be very healthy for a man.
Predominant: How so?
Ingrid: I have seen how discipline can improve men and make them better. I have clients who come to me because they need that firm discipline. I am like a Therapist where they can confess and share their innermost feelings but I provide them with emotional release through the discipline. It is a purging and it is healthy. I once saw a therapist myself but all I got to do was talk while he listened, than he billed me. My clients get so much more from me. Professional Domination with the right Mistress can bring a man stress relief, emotional release and inner peace. Men need discipline and I provide that.
Predominant: Have you ever had a wife send her husband to you to be punished?
Ingrid: I had one client whose wife would send him to me with strict instructions of what I was to do to him. She eventually got him into a CB3000 and from that point she stopped sending him to me. Once she had control over him through the chastity device, he was better behaved and more obedient.
Predominant: She obviously reaped the rewards of you training her husband.
Ingrid: I have encouraged a number of men to try to introduce this lifestyle to their wives. I told one client who needed to be whipped almost every day that he should get his wife to do this to him. Some men can be happily married and good fathers to their children but they need to be disciplined by a woman occasionally and they come to me and are perfectly content. But some men need frequent discipline and these men really need their life partner to discipline them. I don’t understand why a woman would not be willing to take the belt to her husband if it insures that he will be obedient to her.
Predominant: Not all women are willing and that is why the Professional Dominatrix is such an important profession. If the wife will not do it, you will.
Ingrid: And some men struggle with the guilt. Some married men can come here and see me just like they would see a Therapist and not give it a second thought. But other men struggle with guilt. They think they are cheating on their wives and it is these men that I try to encourage to introduce FemDom to their wives. I don’t care that I might lose a client. I want what is best for them.
Predominant: Could you share some of your more memorable sessions?
Ingrid: There have been so many that I wouldn’t know where to start. I enjoy creating role-playing scenarios because they satisfy the artist within but sometimes a client will have a unique request. I had a recent session that was different. This man had a fetish of wanting to be forced to eat disgusting things like bad tasting food and cigarette butts. It was a form of humiliation play and I was the mean female authority figure who made him eat these bad tasting things.
I had another man who wanted me to iron his clothes while he was still wearing them. That was a different kind of session. So as you can see, not all of my sessions are bondage and corporal.

It was a long interview and both Elise and Hillary commented that I had done a wonderful job putting this interview together. They edited it a little but I didn’t do too badly for my first time out. The credit had to go to Ingrid. I could have stayed there and talked with her all night. For such a young woman she had an overabundance of great stories and experiences to share. I think James was disappointed that we didn’t get a chance to “play” with Ingrid and her male partner while we were there but I was representing Elise so I wanted to keep it professional.

As a side note, a few years later Ingrid went into retirement and took down her most excellent website. However, I understand Ingrid still does select sessions with a few loyal subs. Good for her.

Friday, July 15, 2011

The Mormon sex in chains case

In seeking a movie to review for the next issue of “Predominant” I came across the trailer for a documentary that is being released this weekend. It’s called “Tabloid” and here is the synopsis:

Cupid drew a sharply aimed arrow when he spied a South Carolina-born beauty queen and future tabloid superstar named Joyce McKinney, the subject of Errol Morris' latest quirky documentary. In 1975, 25-year-old McKinney was driving around Provo, Utah, behind the wheel of her Corvette when she saw the man of her dreams behind the wheel of his own 'Vette: 19-year-old Kirk Anderson. He relocated to England to do missionary work and to steer clear of the obsessed Southern belle.

But, in McKinney's eyes her man had disappeared and needed finding. She traveled to England where she abducted Anderson outside a Mormon church 25 miles southeast of London. She then whisked him to a cottage in Devon, chained him to a bed and embarked on a three-day period where she used Anderson as her sex slave (according to Anderson) in an attempt to rescue him from the Mormon religion. Two years later, McKinney jumped bail prior to her kidnapping trial. And that's only part of the story told by Morris' "Tabloid."

Morris follows the salacious adventures of this beauty queen with an IQ of 168 whose single-minded devotion to the man of her dreams leads her across the globe, into jail, and onto the front page. A vivid portrayal of a phenomenally driven woman whose romantic obsessions and delusions catapult her over the edge into scandal sheet notoriety and an unimaginable life.”

I had never heard of Joyce McKinney so I looked her up. I found this on Wikipedia under the title ‘The Mormon sex in chains case’.

"A young Mormon missionary named Kirk Anderson went missing in 1977, after he was allegedly abducted from the steps of a meetinghouse of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints. A few days later a freed Anderson made a report to the police that he had been abducted, driven to Devon, and imprisoned against his will, chained to a bed in a cottage, where he alleged that Joyce Bernann McKinney, a former Miss Wyoming World, had abducted, attempted to seduce, and then raped him. The case became known by sobriquets, including "The Mormon sex in chains case" and "The Case of the Manacled Mormon."

I realize that kidnapping a man against his will and then using him as a sex slave is not FemDom (Okay, it is FemDom but it’s not a nice thing to do). In reading some of the articles about this case it is clear that McKinney has a different version. She says that Anderson liked kinky sex and could only do it if he was tied up (now that’s definitely FemDom).

Either way I think this film is "Predominant” worthy but I’ll have to wait before I can review it because it’s not playing where I live. I’ll have to wait until it comes out on DVD but if it’s in your area, you might want to check it out.

Here is the trailer for “Tabloid”. It looks like an entertaining film.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

The May/December Society - part 2

The best way I can describe the May/December Society is, in a word, “wild”. These women were wild. I arrived at Natalie’s large house and she gave me the tour. There were like five or six bedrooms and each had a basket full of condoms and sex toys next to the bed. Natalie introduced me to the other women as they showed up. I brought my carry-on bag with me and in it I packed lingerie and a silk robe. This was in accordance to the instructions I was given with my invitation.

It was a larger crowd than I expected. In my mind I was picturing a small group similar to ClubFEM but there had to be twenty women there that night. I used one of Natalie’s bathrooms to change into my lingerie. I wore the silk robe to conceal what I was wearing underneath.

Most of the other women did likewise but some of them wore street clothes which made me feel uncomfortable. I was feeling a little insecure and the instructions made it sound like every woman had to adhere to the dress code but there were women who ignored the rules and nobody said anything to them.

The men began to show up, filing in at different times. In the book it made the MDS sound much more structured than it was. The night I was there it was more like a party where people came and went whenever they wanted to. There were probably thirty or more men who showed up. Also in the book they talked about socializing for the first half (similar to how we did it in ClubFEM) and then Natalie called ‘halftime’ (similar to how I would call ‘protocol’ at ClubFEM) and that is when the women were supposed to remove their robes and the men were to strip down to just their thongs. That did not happen.

They played music and people mingled like a regular party. I’m a social person so I had no trouble talking with people. I enjoyed myself but I mostly just observed. I watched the women talking, dancing and flirting with these young men. And I saw women taking their potential boy-toys by the hand and leading them into an empty bedroom, if one was available.

This social was much different than ClubFEM. Sex was on everyone’s mind and that was obvious. The men who came to this party were twenty-somethings. The women were older and most were married, but not all, and just like the book said, no husbands were allowed. The men who were invited were single men these ladies had met out in the clubs and at cougar events and on cougar cruises. This was a real education for me. I didn’t realize how many younger men wanted to get it on with older women. The MILF and cougar craze was big and these guys were horny to make it with a MILF or a cougar.

The women were even worse (or better depending on your point of view). These ladies were not shy at all about kissing, groping and taking a young man to a bedroom. Sex was on everyone’s mind and I saw shit that you wouldn’t believe. Some of it was FemDom but most of it was not. I saw women giving guys blowjobs right out in the open. I saw men undressing women. I saw two men doing one woman on a couch (she was married by the way). As the night wore on and the bedrooms were full, people staked out whatever place they could find to do their thing. It was crazy.

I was conflicted. On the one hand I was a little overwhelmed by it all. It wasn’t what I expected based on what I had read in the book. On the other hand, I became aroused at what I was witnessing. It also didn’t hurt having young, well-built men coming up and flirting with me. I eventually got into the swing of things and I made out with this one very good looking, very muscular male who was young enough he could have been my son. But he was sexy and he wanted me.

I had to have something to tease my hubby about so I made out with this guy and I was intimate with him on a small scale (I did disrobe down to my lingerie and allowed him to fondle my body while we made out. He was naked and I fondled his body.) but I never took him to a bedroom (none were available even if I would have wanted to be alone with him). We didn’t have sex (in the traditional sense of the word) but we both got a happy ending (if you know what I mean). The experience gave me plenty to use to tease and humiliate my hubby with on my return back to the hotel.

If I lived out there, as tempting as it might have been, I would not have joined the MDS. It was fun to witness and participate but it was not what I expected. It wasn’t nearly as FemDom as the book led me to believe. It was big on cuckolding because most of the women were married but I would call it more of a MILF and cougar sex party than a FemDom organization. That was my impression of the MDS.

I’m not saying the description of the group in Elise’s book was false, I’m just saying that the group must have changed by the time I got to experience one of their parties. I can see how wives used the MDS to cuckold and humiliate their husbands because if your goal for the night was to get laid, you would have no problem accomplishing that goal.

I’ve heard that the May/December Society has since folded. I have to at least give those gals credit for attempting a very novel idea. It just seemed to me that it might have grown too big and gotten a little out of hand.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

The May/December Society

I promised in an earlier post to share about the time I attended a social of the group ‘The May/December Society’ (MDS). I had never heard of this group prior to reading Elise Sutton’s book, “The FemDom Experience”. The May/December Society was part cougar, part cuckolding group. To give you a little background here is a brief excerpt from that book;

The May/December Society is different in that it has a large percentage of members who are married. In fact, it is headed by married women and the May/December Society openly classifies itself as a FemDom organization.
While the husbands of the married women are forbidden to join or attend any gatherings of the May/December Society, men are present at their socials. It just happens that the men who are invited to attend are single males, usually between the ages of twenty and twenty-nine, whereas the female members of the May/December Society are in their late thirties, forties and fifties.
The May/December Society has monthly socials in the large home of a FemDom couple, Natalie and Francis Natalie decided to start a separate organization that could help women who were interested in exploring the cuckolding lifestyle, as well as possibly assisting them in finding a lover.

Natalie and her associates were not interested in replacing the loves of their lives, namely their husbands, but were instead seeking a boy-toy for sex. Therefore, it only made sense that they would seek out younger men since it is proven that older women and younger men are more compatible sexually. Not to mention that the cuckolding experience is more powerful when the wife can incorporate humiliation play by teasing her husband about her sexual liaisons with younger lovers.
Natalie and three other women of the FemDom group began the May/December Society (originally called ‘The MRS’, which was an abridgement for ‘The Mrs. Robinson Society’, named after the Mrs. Robinson character in “The Graduate”). As the women began to meet and lay out the rules and guidelines for their society, they decided the focus should not be on the cuckolding but rather the older women/younger men aspect. For this reason, any woman is free to join the May/December Society as long as she is thirty-five or older and shares the group’s philosophy. Single women and married women comprise the May/December society but the males who are invited must be single and they must be between the ages of twenty and twenty-nine. According to Natalie, in 2006 the average age of the female members was forty-two and the average age of the male guests was twenty-six. Married women currently make up seventy-five percent of the May/December female membership.”

Elise listed the group’s contact information in the Appendix of her book and on a crazy whim, I contacted them. I sent out an e-mail and they sent me back a questionnaire to fill out.

MDS Application for consideration of association
 (Women only)
Pseudo Name (Do not use your real name):
Location (City and State only):
How far are you willing to travel to be a part of our group? (Socials are held monthly):
Age (we prefer 35 and older):
How did you find out about our group?
Marital Status:
If married, do you have a Femdom marriage? (Please note that this is not a swingers group):
What is your societal philosophy when it comes to dating, marriage, gender roles, cuckolding, and the concept of women as cougars (Older women seeking younger men)?
Briefly describe why you want to join our group:
Briefly describe yourself; physically, professionally and socially: (We do not discriminate in any way based on age, race, education, profession or body type).
If you were to attend one of our socials, what kind of male guest (i.e. potential boy-toy) would interest you based on the following:
a)      Masculine stud or boyish cute or other?
b)      Does height matter?
c)       Does age matter? (Male guests are usually between 20 and 29 but some women prefer a male over or under a certain age). 
d)      Do you prefer a certain race or ethnicity in a boy-toy?
e)       If yes, please specify:
f)       Are you fond of a certain hair color, intellect, educational level, body type, personality, etc? (Please list if you are seeking anything specific in a boy-toy):
g)      Does penis size matter?
h)      Does the sexual experience level of a boy-toy matter? (Do you prefer a novice or skilled lover in a boy-toy, or does it matter to you?)

What are you seeking from this experience? (Please be honest):
If attending one of our socials is not practical, would you be interested in referrals of any potential boy-toys from your area that have contacted us and have passed our verification process? (We would be more than happy to share what information we have about a possible match).
*** Please keep in mind that we are a small group and there is a good chance that we will not know of any groups or potential matches in your area.
If there are no MDS chapters near where you live, would you be interested in starting one if we were to assist? (We make no promises but we’re always willing to assist).
Please list your e-mail address where we can contact you:
After I submitted my answers, they informed me I would be placed on their waiting list. My initial reaction was to be skeptical of the legitimacy of the group. However, Elise covered ClubFEM in her book and we were real therefore it reasoned that the MDS was also real.

I contacted Elise and asked her if there was anything she could do on my behalf. A few days later I received an e-mail back from the MDS giving me a personal invite the next time I was ever in their vicinity (on the west coast). My curiosity got the best of me and as a result I decided my next vacation would be to the west coast.

Looking back on it I’m not sure what my true motives were for wanting to check out this group. When I told my husband he was less than enthused at first but he kept reading the chapter in Elise’s book on the MDS over and over again. This elicited something inside him because he kept asking me to tease him about it. When I would humiliate him about me attending the MDS and hooking up with a young stud, my husband could hardly control his excitement.

We eventually took a trip to the west coast and the day of me attending the MDS social was at hand. Of course, as usual, my husband began to worry about me going. He stayed back at the hotel while I caught a taxi and gave the driver the address of the house where the MDS was held. Oh my God, was I ever nervous. I talked with Natalie on the phone that day to verify the directions but I don’t think I was ever that anxious in my life.

I will share the details of that night in a future post.