Channeling Mistress Kristen

Back when I did live sessions with a few select clients, one of them was an older gentleman who made the observation that I reminded him of a Dominatrix he sessioned with in the 1980’s. Her name was Mistress Kristen and my client said that I reminded him of her in both my looks and my personality. I had never heard of Mistress Kristen so my client sent me some pictures of her. In the pictures she was younger than I was but I kind of saw a slight resemblance.

Then later on, a new couple joined my ClubFEM group and the husband commented that I reminded him of Mistress Kristen. He had never sessioned with her but he was a consumer of Femdom magazines and his favorite Mistress from the 1980’s was Mistress Kristen. He said our resemblance was uncanny. I didn’t buy it but I showed James the pictures of Mistress Kristen and asked him what he thought. He agreed with me that there was a slight resemblance but we were certainly not twins.

Anywho, I decided to do a little research on her, seeing we might be long lost sisters (lol). Here is an article "Predominant" did about Mistress Kristen back in 2006:

She really does look sexy in her boots. Really sad her husband didn't appreciate her or treat her with the respect she deserved. I hope she found love and fulfillment in her next marriage. And I can understand her wanting to live a more quiet and peaceful life away from professional Domination. I've been there and done that myself. So what do you think? Could we be sisters? I know it’s hard to draw a comparison because in my pictures my face is hidden.

Personally I think there is only a minor resemblance at best, but it was interesting that two different men, who didn’t know each other, compared me to this high-profile Mistress from the 1980’s.

Kathleen meets Whip Girl

I almost forgot about this little FemDom adventure from my past. I was going through my FemDom book and magazine collection and I came across some old copies of DDI magazine. In the one magazine I had marked an ad by a DC Mistress who went by the name ‘Whip Girl’. Her full name is Vendela Zane and in doing a quick search on the internet I see she’s still around cracking her whip. She now lives in the Scranton, PA area but back in the late 90’s she was in Washington DC and then she moved to Baltimore.

I can’t remember which year it was for sure, either 1999 or 2000, but I remember it was in the spring because it was around my husband’s birthday. My experience in 1998 with Mistress Morgan in Pittsburgh was so much fun I decided to take my hubby to visit another professional Mistress. This time it would be a surprise for his birthday. I chose to take him to DC and I must have searched this issue of DDI magazine to find one. I selected Ms Zane because I loved her scene name ‘Whip Girl’. I contacted her and set up the appointment.

Her dungeon was in a big house in a very nice, upper class neighborhood in a DC suburb located in Virginia. The neighborhood made for a perfect surprise because nobody would have suspected that inside this nice home would be room after room full of bondage furniture and equipment. I told James that we were going to see an old friend of mine. We rang the doorbell and you should have seen his face when the leather attired Whip Girl opened the door.

Ms Zane had a completely different look than Mistress Morgan. Both were beautiful women. I would classify Morgan as a sophisticated and eloquent Mistress. Whip Girl was a modern Mistress with the tattoos and the body piercings and a bit of a cocky attitude. I loved her immediately.

I gave her a tribute for a ninety minute session. She spent at least two and half hours with us. She had a ball with my subby hubby and I sat back and was immensely entertained. She placed him in bondage, she teased him, she performed c/b torture on him, she humiliated him and obviously she showed us why she was known as Whip Girl. She whipped my husband with a variety of crops, canes and whips and while she was whipping him she would ask me if he was an obedient husband or not? I told her he could improve in doing more of the housework, so Whip Girl made sure to drive (or should I say whip) that point home to him.

Ms Zane had a marvelous sense of humor and she and I laughed so hard that day as she came up with creative ways to humiliate my husband. My favorite memory from this day was when she made my hubby into a human birthday cake. Seeing it was his birthday, she decided since she didn’t have a cake, she’d make one, and he would be that cake. She placed candles all over his body and lit them so the wax dripped onto his flesh. We sang happy birthday to him (very slowly) while he suffered and then we blew out the candles. It was a fun day and I can’t believe I almost forgot about it. Then again I had my share of wild FemDom experiences over the next decade to occupy my mind.

Funny how one memory will jog another memory. When I met Mistress Alex and her husband Steve from ClubFEM, one night I was sharing the tale of Whip Girl with them and Steve spoke up and told me that he was familiar with that house where Whip Girl had entertained us. Before he met Alex, he served a woman by the scene name of Mistress Ariel. The house belonged to Ariel and her husband and they held FemDom parties there in the late 90’s. According to Steve, Ariel moved and allowed some local Dommes, like Whip Girl, to use the place. But then Ariel sold the house which is why Whip Girl had to search for a new location.

I hope to share more blasts from my past in future posts. 

Phone Mistress

In 2001, I had become very excited about FemDom and at the same time I was a bit burned out in my career, therefore I was thinking of alternatives. Meeting women like Morgan, Fawn and Brianna (all of whom were professional Dommes) made me contemplate this potential career choice. I was counseling with Elise Sutton so I sought her guidance as to how to go about doing that.

Elise suggested that I first try my hand at being a Phone Mistress. She put me in touch with a national organization, PEP (People Exchanging Power), and its founder Nancy Ava Miller. I talked to Nancy over the phone and she sent me two books to read. One was titled “Some Women” by Laura Antoniou and the other was a book on how to engage in erotic sex talk (I can’t remember the exact title of this book).

After I read the books, I talked with Nancy again about becoming one of her phone counselors. I liked Nancy a lot and she was primarily about helping people who were trying to understand their D/s urges. But she made one statement that bothered me. She told me in order to be a really successful phone Dominatrix I had to learn to get the male aroused during the call so he would extend the conversation which would allow me to charge him more. I understood where she was coming from as a business woman but this didn’t quite sit well with me. Another problem was Nancy wanted a full-time commitment from me. I was too busy with my career to give her that kind of commitment.

It just so happened that shortly after that, Elise started her own telephone service. She was looking for women who had the right blend of dominance but who also possessed a morality whereby the phone counselor truly cared about the well-being of her clients. Elise started with me and two other women. We didn’t do phone domination. We felt there were enough services out there that provided that. Our emphasis was more on pointing a client in the right direction as it relates to this lifestyle.

Most of my clients were married men or men who were seeking to be in a committed relationship with a dominant woman. Their number one question was usually “How can I get my wife/girlfriend to embrace FemDom?” And a close runner up second question was “Am I really submissive and can you help me figure that out?”

I was all about happy marriages and because of what FemDom had done for my marriage, I could relate to these clients. I knew what these people were going through and I could offer practical advice for their situations because I had been there.

The psychoanalysis Elise Sutton offers on her website was such a turning point in my marriage. That is what I used as a starting tool for my phone calls. I performed the analysis on my clients as it gave me a lot of information in a short period of time. From there I was able to access where this person was at in his life and in his submission and after I was done with the questions and answers I was able to give him advice on where to go from there.

The other two women quit doing the calls after the first year but I did phone calls for close to five years, and what I learned was invaluable. I can’t speak for submissive men everywhere but those who were drawn to Elise Sutton’s site (all of my clients found me through her site) seemed to be of a certain breed. These were men who were desperate for Loving Female Authority and most of them would go to the ends of the earth to attain it.

This revelation astounded me because I had always thought of men as the more intellectual of the two genders. But now here I was speaking to men on the phone, total strangers, whom I could wrap around my finger at just the suggestion of Female Dominance.

As you can imagine, I was quite surprised and taken aback by this. It made me feel more desirable than I had ever felt in my life. I also felt powerful and energized like nothing could stop me. And it also made me wonder if there were men in my circle of friends, co-workers, community who might feel the same way and perhaps might even secretly look at me like this. It was very empowering.

I began doing little tests during the course of my everyday life and I was very pleased with the results. I became more aggressive and demanding with all men I came in contact with. I no longer took any guff off any man, even those who had authority over me. The results were surprisingly optimistic. It was true. Most men do not know how to handle or react to a woman who stands up for herself and demands to have things her way.

This was also true in my personal life with my husband. Although he was submissive to me, I had thought there was a line I should not cross. But my phone calls changed all that. I became bolder with my husband. I started to push his limits like never before. And to my amazement, he liked it.

My initial claim to FemDom fame

As I mentioned in my last post, I broke out my old FemDom book collection that was stored away in a trunk in my closet. Two books I found in there were Elise Sutton’s “Female Domination” and “The FemDom Experience”. Did you know I was in both books? In “Female Domination” my husband and I are in chapter four. We are Kathy and James and if you have that book you can read about how I got started in FemDom and all about our session with Mistress Morgan.

I’d forgotten about some of the details. Here’s an excerpt;

“Next, we moved to the larger of the two rooms.  Morgan tied James, bent over this padded horse. His behind was vulnerable, exposed and sticking up in the air.  Morgan began to teach me how to whip a man. We both disciplined him. I really enjoyed this as having someone else join in with you validates your own actions and desires in some way. We used various types of whips and paddles and she ended his discipline with her showing me her favorite activity, caning a man. My husband’s ass was all red from having two women go at it. My husband can be a wimp at times, like how he whined when she put the nipple clamps on him. But I must say that my husband can take a good paddling and whipping across his buttocks. When Morgan used the cane, however, he jerked and let out a scream. It was priceless. He would squirm to try to avoid each strike of her cane but to no avail.

Finally, it was my turn. Morgan showed me how to place the cane against his butt and then bring it back slowly before striking it with a flick of my wrist. I loved the sound of the cane swishing through the air and the stinging sound of it making contact with my husband’s flesh. I have never entertained any sort of sadistic desires in my entire life. I am a kind woman who loves to hug and kiss people and animals. However, something was definitely unleashed within me as I whipped and caned my husband that day. I found myself getting aroused as I caned him. My husband was relieved when we finally released him from his bonds. His cute butt was a nice shade of pink and red with a few stripes of dark red from the cane.

I had one more surprise for him before we left. Morgan asked me if there was anything else I wanted to try before our session ended. I knew that James had this fantasy of being humiliated by me in front of another woman. So I asked Morgan if I could dominate my husband in front of her.

I didn’t know that I had it in me but I ordered James to his knees in my most bitchy and demanding voice. I began to verbally humiliate him in front of Morgan as I told him what a worm he was and how our marriage relationship was going to change. I told him that I was taking over and I would call the shots from here on out because he wasn’t man enough to make decisions. As I was berating him, I grabbed one of Morgan’s whips and I struck his sore ass sharply. I then ordered James to lick and kiss my shoes and to grovel before Morgan and I. James snapped right to it and for the first time during our session with Morgan, he had a total erection. I was touching something within him and I knew I was on to something here. I made James confess his place in our marriage by confessing to Morgan how I was superior to him and how he was going to be my servant. I could tell that Morgan was impressed with my performance.”

That was all true. Morgan was wonderful. She gave me her phone number and said I could call her anytime. I regret not staying in touch with her. She recommended a great fetish store in Pittsburgh called the Outer Skin. We used to visit the place every time we made it to Pittsburgh so I could buy more outfits and toys. In the early part of the last decade I asked the owner about Morgan because her website had disappeared. He said he heard she had moved to Chicago. I remembered that Morgan told us that her submissive boyfriend lived in Chicago so she must have moved to be close to him. They were both lawyers. Morgan was so sweet. I hope all is well with her.

In Elise’s second book “The FemDom Experience” I shared my experiences with getting the Maryland/DC chapter of ClubFEM off the ground.

The other interesting nugget about “The FemDom Experience” was the chapter on a group called ‘The May/December Society’. I had never heard of this group prior to reading Elise’s book. They listed their contact information in the Appendix and on a crazy whim, I contacted them. The May/December society was part cougar (older women hooking up with younger men) and part cuckolding group. I actually attended one of their socials. I’ll share the details of that most interesting experience in a future post. I’ve heard that the May/December Society has since folded but I have to give those gals credit for attempting a very novel idea.

Beginnings

Some who find this blog might recognize me from my past FemDom life. I was a phone Mistress for five years and I dabbled a bit in the world of professional Domination. I was also active in a FemDom group for the better part of three years. And I still actively write a column for a FemDom e-zine. But more on all of that a bit later.

Going back to 1998, I felt I needed to learn about Female Domination from an experienced dominant woman. Since I didn’t know of any, I decided that I needed to visit a professional Dominatrix. My husband had visited a couple of Pro Dommes prior to marrying me and he recommended a reputable Dominatrix with whom he once had a session but I didn’t want to be influenced by him. Therefore, I chose a Dominatrix based on my own research. I found a woman in Pittsburgh. Mistress Morgan advertised welcoming couples which was a major selling point for me. I sent her a polite e-mail introducing myself and informing her of what it was I was looking for out of someone in her line of work. She promptly replied to my letter and graciously gave me her telephone number along with the best times to call her. When we talked on the telephone, I knew she was the one. What sold me on her was when she informed me that she was a Lawyer who did Professional Domination on the side.

We made the trip to Pittsburgh and I learned a lot from Morgan that day and it was she who recommended I read Elise Sutton’s website. After the session I was extremely motivated to get serious about this lifestyle. In fact, Morgan gave us the address to a fetish store in her area and we stopped on our way home to purchase some toys and some new fetish outfits for me.

Over the next several weeks and months, I didn’t just read Elise Sutton’s site, I devoured it. I decided to do Elise’s “Psychoanalysis of the submissive male” on my husband. It was an eye-opening experience. I wrote to Elise to inquire about her advertised “other procedures”. We did one per week for like thirty weeks and that was the main source of my early education into the world of FemDom. When I learned that what I did in the bedroom could change my husband’s behavior outside the bedroom, I was hooked.

During this time, I wrote to Elise with some of my questions. She offered personal counseling (for a fee). From those correspondences, a relationship formed between us. That relationship led to me becoming one of her associates. That started me on an incredible journey for the next ten years.

Then came a death in my family and I shelved the whole lifestyle for over two years (other than continuing to write my column). My marriage remained strong but it was hard on my husband, who still had his wife but he had lost his Mistress. I didn’t know when or if I could ever venture back into a FemDom lifestyle. In many ways, we’ve started over at square one, and I believe that’s a good thing.

In the weeks and months ahead, I plan on sharing some of my past experiences and the insights I gained from those experiences.