Settling back into a more domestic-oriented femdom lifestyle

Last summer my hubby came to me and told me he was tired of straddling the fence between husband and slave. He wanted me to take him deeper into submission. He wanted me treat him more cruelly. I agreed to explore his ‘masochism’ thus I permitted him to build his own little prison in the basement. We’ve experimented with more advance D&S activities with such things as strappado, spiked mats, and intense humiliation. This has been fun, for the both of us, and definitely a learning experience. I feel I’ve gotten to know my hubby in new ways over these past 7 or 8 months.

While such endeavors have definitely added spice and intensity to our femdom play, I’ve come to the conclusion that they do not make for a sustainable lifestyle. It’s just not me. I can treat my hubby cruelly from time to time within a D&S session (and plan to continue to do so) but I cannot do it as a way of life.

What I enjoy most about femdom is how we relate to each other outside the bedroom and within our vanilla world. I love being married to a man who does almost all the housework. I love that my hubby submits to me making the decisions within our marriage. And I love that my hubby submits to my sexual independence and consents to me being intimate with other men, if I so choose, while he remains totally monogamous to me. I also like to expand hubby’s boundaries as he surrenders more and more of himself over to me. And I love it when he sacrifices his pleasure in order to enhance my pleasure.

However, I must be perfectly honest and confess that I do not enjoy hurting him, physically or emotionally. I love my husband and I have no desire to break him or force him into submission. I want his submission to always come from his willing and loving heart. That doesn’t mean we will still not utilize the confinement room or engage in occasional strappado or use the spiked mats during our D&S play. But what it does mean is that our lifestyle is starting to settle back into a more domestic-oriented femdom.

Take the past two weeks. Hubby comes home from work and tends to his chores. He prepares my dinner and afterwards, he is at my beckon call, be it to give me a foot massage, or a neck rub, or a full body massage, or to sexually satisfy me via orally pleasuring me. Hubby is on an allowance and one night he requested extra funds. He kneeled before me and made his request known. I granted it and he showed his adoration by kissing my feet. It was quite lovely.

My relationship with Thomas is also settling into a more regular routine. I really didn’t appreciate the way Thomas kind of dropped in and out of my life based on his schedule and his whims. Therefore I told Thomas that if he wanted to see me, it would be on Saturday nights. He must drive here and take me out to dinner. He is permitted to spend the night with me but he must leave on Sunday. That’s the way it will be until I change my mind. I decide when Thomas sees me. James will spend most Saturday nights in the confinement room. Whether I allow him to listen to me and my lover over the intercom will be my decision. It will not happen every time.

I am going to try my best to keep to a weekly discipline session with James, preferably Friday nights. But it will not be always be a major production involving me wearing leather. For example, last night I administered an over the lap spanking to my hubby with my hairbrush. I took off my sweater and jeans and was only wearing bra and panties, but I did not put on any fetish attire. I gave him about 25 firm smacks with the hairbrush and had him stand in the corner for 30 minutes. There was no body worship or oral servitude, just a short discipline session to remind hubby of his place in our marriage.

I am a very spontaneous person so I’m sure I will change things up but for now I am ready for some routine and structure in our lives.