Saturday, March 22, 2014

Love Me like you Hate Me


 
Directed by: Erika Lust 

Starring: Venus O’Hara,
Anna Linng 

Released: 2010 

Language: English  

Length: 6 minutes


Back in 2012 I was contacted by a gentleman who was one of the organizers of the Fetish Film Festival, the subcultural film conference that meets in Kiel, Germany each year. The Fetish Film Festival explores narrative works about consensual erotic encounters. This gentleman was a fan of my movie reviews and he extended a personal invitation for me to attend the Fetish Film Festival. He also sent me a list of the Festival’s winners for 2011.  

A flick that caught my attention was one of the nominees for best short film, a D&S goodie titled “Love Me like you Hate Me”. It didn’t win the award for best short film (that honor went to a film called “Fourplay” about a cross-dressing male prostitute).  However, the star actress of “Love Me like you Hate Me”, Venus O’Hara, did win the award for best actress in a short film.  

And when I say short film, I really mean ‘short’ film. “Love me like you Hate Me” is a mere six minutes in length. Yet, I loved every second of it and that surprised me a little because although the film is about D&S (and more specifically female domination) the film explores female dominating female.
 
Why did I like it so much? That’s a good question (and I’m glad I asked it). I think I liked it for a number of reasons.  

For one thing, seeing that I have red hair, I am kind of partial to red headed dominant women. I think we are a fraternity (or sorority if you prefer) unto ourselves. Red hair, fair skin, and freckles are not the easiest body traits for a teenage girl to deal with when she is coming of age in a society that is obsessed with sunbathing, tanning beds and bronzed skin. When the Beach Boys (and later David Lee Roth) sang “I wish they all could be California girls”, well thank God they didn’t get their wish because that wasn’t me.  

Growing up I always felt a kinship with Katharine Hepburn, Maureen O’Hara and other famous red heads. These women were sexy and glamorous and I idolized them. Of course some people liked to stereotype me with zany female red heads such as Lucille Ball and Carol Burnett. But that’s the beauty of red heads. We can be glamorous, sexy, wacky, fiery and very dominant.  

So maybe I was drawn to Venus O’Hara because of her hair color. I had never heard of her before but Venus O’Hara is a fetish model, an actress, and a writer.
 
 

In fact, “Love Me like you Hate Me” is also a book, a coffee table book, written by Venus O’Hara and another woman, Erika Lust. Here is a brief synopsis of the book; 

“This book provides a modern perspective on a variety of practices that may be considered taboo for many women: to be tied up oneself or to tie someone else up, role-play and dressing up, giving pain or receiving it, being a strict dominatrix or being a submissive slave, punishing our partner or being punished by them... Explore with Venus O’Hara and Erika Lust the seductive thrills of domination or the fear and excitement of submission.” 
 

The short film “Love Me like you Hate Me” is based on the book with the same name and it stars Venus O’Hara. Oh, did I mention that she plays all the parts in this short film? I didn’t realize it the first time I watched it but when I went back and watched it again, sure enough, all 7 characters in this short film are indeed the red-headed Venus O’Hara. She plays herself plus six additional personas of her personality, including 3 dominant personas as she interacts with and dominates … well … herself, in a variety of role-playing scenarios.
 

 

She is the strict French teacher who spanks her female student when she isn’t able to comprehend the lesson.
 

 

She is the cruel housewife who humiliates and exploits her female housekeeper by throwing her cigarette on the floor that the housekeeper is scrubbing and grinds it with her shoes, all the while verbally degrading the submissive housekeeper about the poor job she is doing.
 

 


She is the evil Dominatrix who abuses her female slave. She locks her in a closet and only lets her out after she begs. She verbally humiliates her about her hygiene, binds her in a tub, and cruelly dunks her head under the water. All of these characters are played erotically by Venus O’Hara.
 

 

How does she pull this off? With the help of another actress, Anna Linng. We never see Anna’s face but she is the stand-in when the camera captures female hands spanking female bottom or female legs and shoes standing in front of the submissive housekeeper or the gloved hand of a Dominatrix pushing the head of her slave under the bath water.
 

 
 


It’s very clever and I love the haunting piano music that accompanies the scenes as it adds to the domination, the cruelty and the intense humiliation.   
 
So do I have different dominant personas? Absolutely! I can be the cruel Dominatrix or the fun-loving independent spirit or the sensual temptress or the quiet intellectual or the spoiled brat who is accustomed to getting her way or the fiery Irish Bitch with the bad temper.  

Do I have submissive fantasies? No, I can’t say that I do but I have known dominant women who like to be on the other end as they explore their submissive fantasies with other dominant women. Back when I was active in ClubFEM, I had a dominant woman in our group who asked me if I would be open to dominating her within a role-playing scenario. She didn’t want any of the other Mistresses (or submissive men) knowing but she had a long-held fantasy that involved a specific role-play where she was submissive to a woman. And believe me, she was dominant in real life, and very dominant with her husband. Did I oblige her request? Now, now … that’s private information between just me and her.  
 
So even if you’re not into seeing a woman dominating another woman, “Love Me like you Hate me” should still be an erotic viewing experience. I think you’ll find Ms. O’Hara’s dominant style to be quite arousing.   


One final thought about this short and that’s the title. You may recall that I explored my hubby’s masochism and one area that I had difficulty comprehending is when he would ask me to be cruel. I finally caught on and what he was really saying was … love me like you hate me. To a submissive and a masochist, when a woman agrees to treat him cruelly, she is in fact demonstrating to him that she loves him. She is giving him what he needs, what he craves. To refuse to be cruel is to be cruel. To grant him the cruelty he longs for is to love him.    

Of course I am talking about role-playing and D&S exploration. To take this into everyday life and treat someone cruelly 24/7 would be unhealthy for all involved. I could never be cruel as it is more in my nature to be tender-hearted. But I do enjoy being cruel in our D&S play. Yes, I admit it. When it comes to my hubby, I enjoy loving him like I hate him. 

 

 

Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
 

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