Friday, July 29, 2011

Kathleen meets Elise Sutton

I first communicated with Elise back in the late 90’s. She offered e-mail counseling and I paid her for the right to communicate with her. I know that sounds kind of crazy but I admired her and I was desperate for a mentor. We wrote back and forth weekly and her help to me was invaluable. After the agreed upon timeframe was over, Elise continued to communicate with me, free of charge. She encouraged me to do the phone counseling and to accept Dee and Gene’s offer to become the Head Mistress of ClubFEM when it became apparent that no one else was going to step forward. Elise helped me to expand my horizons when I lacked the confidence.

I’d estimate that 90% of my correspondence with Elise over the years has been by e-mail. But I have talked with her over the phone and I’ve met her in-person on several occasions. I corresponded with Elise for almost three years before talking with her over the phone. It never entered my mind that Elise was anything other than she claimed to be. Call it a gut feeling that proved to be correct. Maybe I was naïve in those days but I didn’t have to meet her in person. My husband pestered me about it, not because he doubted her but because he was like most other men, he was dying to know what she looked like. I refused to get caught up in this but inevitably the need to talk to her over the phone became a must when she asked me to do phone calls for her.

I finally got the chance to meet her in person in the summer of 2003. We met for dinner in the DC area, just she and I, no husbands. I felt like I was meeting my long lost sister, that’s how close I felt to her at the time. So there I was, having dinner with the legendary Elise Sutton, my FemDom mentor, and if you would have been a fly on the wall in that restaurant do you know what you would have heard us two dominant women talking about? Dogs! We mostly talked about our love for our pets. We didn’t talk about domming our husbands, we didn’t discuss female supremacy, and we didn’t talk about D/s or FemDom. We were just two friends having dinner.

I next saw Elise in person at a gathering in Las Vegas in 2005. When the e-zine “Predominant” first started back in 2005 I was one of four other women that assisted her. We all met in Las Vegas in the autumn of 2005, all expenses paid thanks to Elise. One night we all went out to dinner and Elise told us stories about how she was active in the BDSM community back in the late 80’s under a different scene name. She told us about the parties and S&M clubs she used to frequent “in the day”.

Elise threw out names of Mistresses she was once close to, none of whom meant a thing to me but my husband was familiar with some of the names because he used to buy FemDom magazines back in the 80’s before he ever met me. James said some of the names Elise mentioned were Mistresses he used to fantasize about from their pictures in the magazines. 

It was on this trip to Vegas that we all went to see the kinky show “Fashionistas” at Krave nightclub, located on the side of the Aladdin Hotel and Casino (now Planet Hollywood) on Harmon Avenue. I reviewed the show for the December 2005 issue of “Predominant”.
The last time I saw Elise was four years ago when James and I had dinner with Elise and her husband. I wish I could write of wild times and share how Elise and I dominated a bunch of men or all the fun we had domming our husbands, but the truth is I’ve never ‘played’ with Elise nor have I ever witnessed her within a D/s scene.

People still write me asking questions about Elise. To my knowledge most of the rumors that have circulated around the internet about Elise are false but I can’t answer most of the questions because quite frankly, although I’ve been an associate of hers for over a decade, I can’t say that I really know the woman outside of her FemDom persona. I can say that she is an attractive, mature woman with a very sweet personality. From all indications, based on my personal observations, Elise believes what she writes and she writes what she believes.

She told me she got bored with the BDSM scene and in the 90’s a new career opportunity made her seek anonymity. She decided to promote FemDom by writing and sharing her philosophy and experiences using the internet. Obviously Elise Sutton is not her real name. I have no idea what her real name might be and I’ve never asked.

We rarely communicate these days and my only dealing with her is when I submit my column for “Predominant”. I’m not sure how much longer I will continue to do that. Every year I tell myself this is going to be my last but I guess I feel obligated for all that she did for me in those early years when I was a total novice.

I’ll close here by saying I have always found Elise to be honest and trustworthy when it came to my dealings with her. I will always have a high opinion of Elise and I will always be grateful to her for all the time she took mentoring me. 


  1. So many people don't even think Elise Sutton is a real person. It was refreshing to read this description of your having met her.

  2. her site is a static page that just recycles posts from years ago

    1. I don't think she runs the site these days and hasn't for years. I have no proof of this but I suspect someone else does the updates and that's why they just recycle old content.

  3. Your husband is one lucky man !

  4. I'm sure you know Ms Kathleen, how many of us men wish we were in his shoes!