Mentors

Elise Sutton was my main mentor throughout my early years in FemDom but I also considered a woman by the name of Hillary to be a mentor as well because she offered a different twist on the lifestyle than Elise. Whenever I was struggling to understand something or needed to comprehend an idea in a different light, I could always turn to Hillary.

Another way that Hillary was helpful was just by sharing her wild and crazy stories with me. She gave me so many bright ideas and over the years I have incorporated numerous “Hillary originals” into my own playtime.

Hillary also has a strong women’s intuition. A couple years back I was struggling with some personal issues. I never mentioned them to her but somehow she picked up on them. The words she spoke into my life helped to turn the situation around and for that I will be eternally grateful.

One of my biggest thrills was when I got to meet my mentors face to face. When Elise began her e-zine, she asked me if I wanted to contribute. I declined at first but she persuaded me to be interviewed for one of the earliest issues. My interview ran in the February 2005 edition.

Hillary knew I was a big film buff and she came up with the idea for me to do a FemDom movie review for each issue. Elise loved the idea and that is how my movie review column came to be in “Predominant”.

There were four women that put together the early issues of the e-zine. In the autumn of 2005, Elise invited us all to Las Vegas to meet face to face and discuss the future of the e-zine. I had only met Elise on one other occasion. We met for dinner in 2003 at a restaurant in Georgetown. Meeting Hillary, Lilly, and Kay, along with their spouses, face to face in Las Vegas was a big thrill for me.

It was on this trip that we all went to see the kinky show “Fashionistas” at Krave nightclub, located on the side of the Aladdin Hotel and Casino (now Planet Hollywood) on Harmon Avenue. I reviewed the show for the December 2005 issue of “Predominant”.

I had other mentors in addition to Elise and Hillary. Mistress Dee of the Houston chapter of ClubFEM was very helpful to me on more than one occasion, and of course my good friend Mistress Alex of the DC chapter of ClubFEM always had nuggets of wisdom to pass along. But the sad thing is that I haven’t kept in contact with any of these women. That’s partly on me but I’ve noticed that this lifestyle is like that. You meet people, you become friends, you share many intimate details about your sex life with each other, but these relationships don’t seem to last.

The couples I met at ClubFEM came and went. You never knew who would show up again. There were so many people I met through this lifestyle. James and I even traveled and met other couples not associated with ClubFEM, and we would “play” with these people for one night, and it would be enjoyable, and we’d write back and forth in the days and weeks afterwards, or we’d talk on the phone, but then nothing. They’d just dropped out of sight, never to be heard from again.

I guess that’s to be expected when you’re dealing with such a private area of people’s lives. Some people were really weird about it but others, like Alex and Steve, were very open about it. I’m a very open person and I have no problem sharing my innermost being with others, but my husband is the opposite. I call him ‘secret agent man’ because he doesn’t want anyone to know our business, and I’m not just talking about our sex life. He doesn’t want others to know anything about his personal life.

Nonetheless, we all need mentors. We all need knowledge. We all need someone we can go to when we have questions. The Internet is a great source but you never really know who is on the other end of that website, blog, or e-mail. It’s nice to have relationships with people you trust, even if they are cyber relationships. And it’s nice to have mentors.