Sunday, April 21, 2013

Finding that perfect balance

I had a talk with James the other night where we discussed what each of us needs out of this femdom marriage. I am in charge and I make the decisions but in order for this lifestyle to work, both parties have to find fulfillment. Therefore open and honest communication is vitally important. In many ways, James was my first mentor when it came to this lifestyle as he introduced it to me and helped me to understand the needs and motivation of a submissive male.
During our most recent discussion, I explained to James how I was enjoying a more domesticated lifestyle where he does additional household chores and tends to my personal needs. I also reiterated how I want to utilize the confinement room more this Spring and Summer as I feel we have not fully explored its potential. James confessed to me that he is a little disappointed that I have pulled back on treating him “crueler” because he enjoys the intense stuff, such as when I make him suffer physically like when we experimented with harsher whippings, the spiked mats and strappado. I reminded James that I don’t like hurting him and when I do these things he doesn’t seem to enjoy it all that much while it is occurring (although I had to admit he does seem to drift into a much more submissive and peaceful frame of mind afterwards).
So we talked about it, I took his comments under consideration and I made the decision to add a little more intense discipline if that is what he needs to be motivated as he serves me domestically and personally. However, I reminded him that all of this is up to me and I will decide the when, what, where and how based on my mood and my sexual desires. James has to understand that I can’t fake it. I have to be excited by what we do and how we do it.
I think we’ve achieved that perfect balance thus far this weekend. Friday night James prepared a lovely dinner. After we ate, I relaxed on the couch and talked with Thomas on the phone while James kneeled on the floor and gave me a delightful foot massage. Around 9:00pm, I took James down to the confinement room where using ankle and wrist cuffs, I bound him naked (other than his chastity device) against the leftmost rubber wall and administered a whipping using my long handle riding crop. I left him bound against the wall as I locked the door and headed back upstairs. I went through my e-mail and surfed the web for about an hour, than I decided to go through my toy box to see if anything in there would spark an idea or motivate me to as to what to do next with my hubby.
Nothing really jumped out at me but my strap-on harness was hanging on a hook on the inside of the lid, along with my spiked leather bra and panties. So I changed into the fetish attire and added my pair of knee high leather boots to the outfit, strapped on the harness, attached a moderate sized dildo, grabbed some lube and a latex glove and headed back down to the confinement room.
I opened the door, pressed my body against his, tilted his head back and gave my hubby a long, passionate kiss. He could feel the spikes pushing into his skin and the dildo pressing against his backside so he knew what was coming. I lubed up his anus and the dildo, grabbed him around the waist, pulled him toward me (his hands and ankles still bound to the wall) and eased the dildo inside of him. I then gave him a rather hard fucking for 5 to 10 minutes, the spikes on my panties hitting against his buttocks every time I pushed my hips forward.
“Is this what you wanted, baby?” I teased. “Is this how you want me to treat you?”
After I was done with the dildo (I would have liked to have gone longer but I got tired after 5 to 10 minutes) I grabbed the riding crop again and administered another whipping, harder this time as we both were in that zone by now. One I was done disciplining him, I took off the strap-on, unlocked him from the wall, pushed him to the floor (face up), slid off my panties and sat on his face. He knew what to do. He licked and tongued me until I climaxed. Shortly thereafter, we both retired to bed.
On Saturday, James attended to his long list of indoor chores while I fiddled outside in my flower garden. I had a dinner date with Thomas so around 5pm, I had James draw me a bath and he tended to my personal needs by bathing me, washing my hair, drying me off, and brushing and drying my hair. As I was applying my cosmetics, James ironed the clothes I picked out to wear for my date. Then he helped dress me. Afterward, I locked James into the confinement room (with his cell phone). Thomas picked me up at 7pm.
We got home at around 9:15, where I let James out of his prison for a bathroom break. I inserted a butt plug and locked him back into the confinement room. Thomas and I watched a little television but what we mostly did was make out on the couch. Then we retired to my bedroom. I turned on the intercom so James could listen in. Thomas stayed the night and I let James out of the confinement room around midnight.
Today, Thomas is taking me to lunch and shopping whereas James has lots of yard work to do, including mowing the lawn. He is tending to it as I write this. Thomas is still sleeping so I have to get him up so we can get going.
Overall, I think we’ve had a well-balanced femdom weekend. I dominated James in a manner that he says he needs, and he tended to my domestic and personal needs. I’m not saying this is how it’s going to be every weekend (that is improbable) but it sure did work out nicely this weekend.


  1. Ms Kathleen - it sounds as if you do indeed have the perfect balance with James, and you have the added bonus of Thomas to boot.


  2. Ms Kathleen,

    Thanks for sharing this latest update.

    By all accounts it sounds like it was a great weekend for all parties. I like the way you both discuss your lifestyle and then take on board what James has to say and then use his comments to suit you. It's sounds like a great relationship.

    You said you let James out of the confinement room for a bathroom break. Do you ever put him in diaper and plastic pants and just leave him?

    Thanks once again for the insight,



  3. I have to tell you how much I enjoy your blog because it is so real. I am in a femdom relationship with my wife, and I appreciate your honest and straightforward accounting of your experiences.