Friday, June 24, 2011

Phone Mistress

In 2001, I had become very excited about FemDom and at the same time I was a bit burned out in my career, therefore I was thinking of alternatives. Meeting women like Morgan, Fawn and Brianna (all of whom were professional Dommes) made me contemplate this potential career choice. I was counseling with Elise Sutton so I sought her guidance as to how to go about doing that.

Elise suggested that I first try my hand at being a Phone Mistress. She put me in touch with a national organization, PEP (People Exchanging Power), and its founder Nancy Ava Miller. I talked to Nancy over the phone and she sent me two books to read. One was titled “Some Women” by Laura Antoniou and the other was a book on how to engage in erotic sex talk (I can’t remember the exact title of this book).

After I read the books, I talked with Nancy again about becoming one of her phone counselors. I liked Nancy a lot and she was primarily about helping people who were trying to understand their D/s urges. But she made one statement that bothered me. She told me in order to be a really successful phone Dominatrix I had to learn to get the male aroused during the call so he would extend the conversation which would allow me to charge him more. I understood where she was coming from as a business woman but this didn’t quite sit well with me. Another problem was Nancy wanted a full-time commitment from me. I was too busy with my career to give her that kind of commitment.

It just so happened that shortly after that, Elise started her own telephone service. She was looking for women who had the right blend of dominance but who also possessed a morality whereby the phone counselor truly cared about the well-being of her clients. Elise started with me and two other women. We didn’t do phone domination. We felt there were enough services out there that provided that. Our emphasis was more on pointing a client in the right direction as it relates to this lifestyle.

Most of my clients were married men or men who were seeking to be in a committed relationship with a dominant woman. Their number one question was usually “How can I get my wife/girlfriend to embrace FemDom?” And a close runner up second question was “Am I really submissive and can you help me figure that out?”

I was all about happy marriages and because of what FemDom had done for my marriage, I could relate to these clients. I knew what these people were going through and I could offer practical advice for their situations because I had been there.

The psychoanalysis Elise Sutton offers on her website was such a turning point in my marriage. That is what I used as a starting tool for my phone calls. I performed the analysis on my clients as it gave me a lot of information in a short period of time. From there I was able to access where this person was at in his life and in his submission and after I was done with the questions and answers I was able to give him advice on where to go from there.

The other two women quit doing the calls after the first year but I did phone calls for close to five years, and what I learned was invaluable. I can’t speak for submissive men everywhere but those who were drawn to Elise Sutton’s site (all of my clients found me through her site) seemed to be of a certain breed. These were men who were desperate for Loving Female Authority and most of them would go to the ends of the earth to attain it.

This revelation astounded me because I had always thought of men as the more intellectual of the two genders. But now here I was speaking to men on the phone, total strangers, whom I could wrap around my finger at just the suggestion of Female Dominance.

As you can imagine, I was quite surprised and taken aback by this. It made me feel more desirable than I had ever felt in my life. I also felt powerful and energized like nothing could stop me. And it also made me wonder if there were men in my circle of friends, co-workers, community who might feel the same way and perhaps might even secretly look at me like this. It was very empowering.

I began doing little tests during the course of my everyday life and I was very pleased with the results. I became more aggressive and demanding with all men I came in contact with. I no longer took any guff off any man, even those who had authority over me. The results were surprisingly optimistic. It was true. Most men do not know how to handle or react to a woman who stands up for herself and demands to have things her way.

This was also true in my personal life with my husband. Although he was submissive to me, I had thought there was a line I should not cross. But my phone calls changed all that. I became bolder with my husband. I started to push his limits like never before. And to my amazement, he liked it.


  1. MsKathleen-

    "Most men do not know how to handle or react to a woman who stands up for herself and demands to have things her way."

    Wouldn't it be more accurate to say that males who aren't submissive or aware of their submissive wiring don't know how, but submissively-wired males do?

    I not only know "how to handle" such a woman, but, as you have discovered and so many of us know, realize they are in the minority.


  2. Yes, I agree with you but not all submissive men react to a strong woman the same. This was all new to me when I began doing phone calls in 2001. The mistake I made was to channel the new dominant Kathleen into all of my relationships. I learned later on the importance of compartmentalizing my life.

  3. Hi Ms. Kathleen,

    Nancy is a great lady and a wonderful resource to the community. Em and I have had the pleasure of attending kinky parties at her home.


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