Sunday, January 20, 2013

Power of Femdom

I don’t remember which book I read it in, it might have been one of Elise Sutton’s books or in one of Mistress Lorelei’s books, but the author talked about the power of Femdom and its ability to defuse arguments and promote harmony within a marriage. Back when I was new to this lifestyle, I allowed myself to be manipulated by my hubby. It took years for me to comprehend the power I had over him.

He used to encourage me to try different things but then he would be the first one to apply the brakes if I didn’t do things exactly as he wanted. My hubby was all for playing with other couples and me dating other men as long as it fit within the framework of his fantasy. But if I was enjoying my dominance in a way outside of what he wanted, he would try to apply the brakes to the situation. In doing so he was trying to hold on to some control over the circumstances. I eventually learned (and am still learning) how to defuse potential arguments and avoid stumbling blocks by using my dominance and female power.
Today was a perfect example. Last night I had a date with Thomas. Plans were set and James was well informed ahead of time that he would be alone Saturday night. I will not go into the details other than to say that my plans changed. James is not real good with sudden change. I don’t fault him as it is in his DNA to be that way. His father is that way. James does best with structure in his life. I, on the other hand, love to be spontaneous. James orders the same item on the menu at every restaurant we eat at. I never order the same item twice. That’s just us.
Anywho, last night I ended up being out much later with Thomas (as in all night) than originally planned. We took a drive in the mountains, ate at a ski-lodge and in a total spontaneous moment, we got a room there and spent the night. I of course called James and told him of the change in plans and told him he should go to bed.
Thomas dropped me off back home late this morning and I immediately sensed a slight attitude coming from my hubby. I guess that’s what I get for giving him an orgasm Friday night. James submits to sudden changes much easier when he’s been denied for weeks at a time.
I was in no disposition for his ‘tude’ so I dealt with it quickly. I was tired and in no mood to administer a spanking or any kind of physical discipline. Suddenly a stroke of brilliance flashed across my mind when I saw the X-mats stacked up in the chair. I was going to put them down on the couch and order James to lie on them, but then I caught a glimpse of our coffee-table. I laid two of the spiked mats down on the coffee-table and ordered James to undress, sit on the front edge of the table and lie back. His cock swelled inside his chastity cage and his balls firmed up as soon as he saw what I had in mind. He squirmed as he eased himself down on the mats, his buttocks and back being penetrated by the plastic spikes, his shoulders ending at the conclusion of the table, his neck and head hanging over the edge.
I went and got a roll of Saran-Wrap and I bound him to the coffee-table as I wrapped him with 3 or 4 layers, taking the roll across his body and running it under the coffee-table, and back across his body again. James was totally bound and at my mercy.
I left him bound against the plastic spikes for about 15 minutes. By the time I returned to him, he was quite contrite for his negative attitude. I towered over him and took my foot and pressed it on his waist, his stomach and then his chest, pushing him deeper into the spikes. As I did this I lectured him about his attitude. By the time I was done, I had him telling me how happy he was I had such a good time with Thomas last night and how I deserve spontaneous and romantic moments in my life.
I slipped out of my pants, removed my panties, and I cupped the back of his head in my hands as I straddled and forced his face to my pussy. I held him there and ordered him to lick me, all the while he was still bound against the spikes of the x-mats. I wasn’t particularly excited but it still felt good as he licked me and I wanted him to taste me, as nothing makes a man more loving toward a woman than the taste of pussy. Finally I let loose of his head and I fetched a pair of scissors and cut him free of the Saran-Wrap. I allowed him to go to the mirror to admire all the red marks made by the spikes across his backside.

Hubby’s been a good boy ever since. Now, wasn’t that much better than fighting all day?

 

6 comments:

  1. Ms Kathleen, your blog is always exciting and insightful. It’s fascinating to see femdom couples that are able to take cuckolding to a level that actually fosters trust and communication. So with that in mind, here is the question that is sitting on the top of my brain: By its nature cuckolding stirs erotic feelings of jealousy and humiliation. But it is very easy to see where a man would become jealous in a negative way when the physical also becomes emotional. It takes loving dedication for a sub to see his wife free to experience all her desires. To me, the tipping point would be when there was fear my relationship was no longer the primary focus of love and affection. Have you ever had difficulties with your husband needing reassurance that he his adding to your life and not being replaced?

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    1. It is only natural for the husband to experience some jealousy and hurt feelings. That goes with the territory. With James it's not so much about the sex. It has more to do with me spending time away from him. This was a challenge long before I dated other men. Going away for weekends to be with my sisters or girlfriends used to create some friction between us.

      The beauty of this lifestyle is that I am now able to take what was once a negative for him and turn it into something exciting for him. The humiliation is what makes it pleasurable for James.

      If I were to just come and go as I please without taking the time and the care to humiliate him about it, then he might have something to worry about. The humiliation proves that I love him and I want him to be fulfilled by this lifestyle.

      I can't say it enough. If my hubby didn't like being cuckolded, I would never do it.

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    2. It is so exciting to know how you cuckold James.
      Congratulations for your previous pictures.
      I would love to know some little spicy details of your dates with your lovers.
      Congratulations again.

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  2. Beautifully put. That most people may not be able to conceive of such a lifestyle working, doesn’t mean it’s not right for some. Too often we allow the norms of society to dictate what is right or wrong, healthy or abusive. To be in a loving relationship that is supported by intimacy and communication is something we should all aspire to have. And there are many avenues by which to achieve it. Thank you!

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  3. Ms Kathleen,
    Your analysis seems most accurate to me. It’s well known that a submissive male experiences a sharp decrease in both submissiveness and kinkiness after an orgasm. It usually takes 2-3 weeks of chastity before his sexual focus becomes redirected from seeking another orgasm for himself to deriving pleasure primarily from his keyholder’s sexual satisfaction. Only then can he fully appreciate the joy of another man having sex with his wife.
    Sadly for us submissive men, our orgasms are not only unnecessary but also potentially harmful to our relations (with the possible exception of child-making).
    That’s why long term male orgasm denial is such a powerful tool in preserving marital bliss; and that’s why a chastity device is often necessary to prevent us from acting against our best interests.

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  4. Sorry I'm late to the party, but this is definitely a topic I enjoy reading about.

    Your post describes familiar ground. Perhaps like James, I too am guilty of manipulation. I have orchestrated situations to get sexytime my way. Then, when Mrs Unbreakable got into it and took things further, I got cold feet and arguments ensued. I wanted my fetishes tickled but no more. That sounds so selfish reading it back!

    In domme/sub play there is a transition from where it's fun and sexy for the sub to where it's much less fun for the sub. What happens when crossing this boundary is where it gets interesting. I read somewhere "a whipping only starts when the submissive genuinely wants you to stop".

    And that's exactly where it went wrong for us. In my fantasies Mrs Unbreakable would enjoy sexual freedom and revel in rubbing my nose in it. But when she flirted with a former lover and ignored me, I became angry and argumentative and wanted to be let out of the chastity device. Feelings of jealousy and insecurity (and misplaced ego) got the better of me.

    Shortly afterwards I realised I had spoilt things and put my own desires before hers. I wish I had been strong enough to let go of my insecurities.

    I also wish Mrs Unbreakable had understood that there needed to be a gradual progression up to that level of submissiveness. Perhaps some gentle reassurance or some stern discipline would have helped guide me back to subspace.

    Anyway, I love this post, Kathleen, because you deftly navigate away from conflict by guiding James into subspace. Will definitely keep reading and looking out for more gems like this one.

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